<p>My parents and I have been discussing college life a lot lately, and they have made it clear that they have very high expectations. That is fine with me because I have always held myself to a very high standard and I plan to work extremely hard, but I think my parents and I may disagree over what is realistic.
I will be a premed bio major at Notre Dame in the honors program next fall. The school is not known for grade inflation, especially in science. My parents seem to think that getting a 4.0 is a completely reasonable goal. I want to do well, but I don't know if that is setting myself up for failure. I would personally be happy with above a 3.7, but my parents amazingly both got 4.0's in college (at IU and Purdue). Is it realistic to expect straight A's, especially when minuses count in the GPA? How should I discuss this with my parents? Thanks for any advice.</p>
<p>Tell your parents that you are going to Notre Dame to get a well rounded education, you have very high standards for yourself and will work hard. That should be enough for them. The grades are less important than what you are learning. I've observed when parents put to much pressure on their children, it can become unhealthy stress that takes the focus off of learning and puts it on performance. The goal shouldn't be straight As, it should be to become educated. College students are under enormous stress in an unfamiliar environment. They need support from their family rather than more pressure.</p>
<p>Getting an A is equivelent to getting perfect scores on everything you do which is nearly impossible if you value your social life. That also means that one screw up will get you an A-</p>
<p>honestly it's so hard to get an A when it comes to grading that includes - or even +. I personally wish my school would just adopt the A B C D F grading system instead.</p>
<p>I think in my opinion a realistic and safe goal would be a 3.5</p>
<p>As a father who has seen a little bit of life, permit me to offer one possible sample of college goals:
1. Determine whether you really enjoy pre-med coursework. College lasts a few years, your career will last a lifetime and you really should enjoy it.
2. Do well enough academically to get accepted at a good medical school.
3. Participate in activities outside your academic major. Even in medicine, career does not equal life.
4. Make time for a social life. Unless you volunteer for the next Jupiter mission, you'll probably be spending a lot of time with people over the next 50 years.<br>
Good luck, and congratulations on getting into Notre Dame!</p>
<p>I would say that a 4.0 is not a reasonable goal. If you can do it, great, but not many can at Notre Dame. I also believe that getting a 4.0 way in the past at IU and Purdue was a lot easier than getting a 4.0 at Notre Dame in premed today. Hopefully, your parents are not serious about this and are just trying to motivate you to do well (although you already seem to have your own motivation). As long as you do well, it doesn't matter if it's a 4.0 or a certain amount lower than that.</p>
<p>I thought I was the only one having this problem. Cornell's notorious for Grade Deflation and my parents said they won't accept anything less than a 4.0 and that too for Electrical and Computer Engineering as my major.</p>
<p>"...my parents said they won't accept anything less than a 4.0..."</p>
<p>They will learn to accept it. They'll probably have to.</p>
<p>Please don't go to college with a goal of a 4.0. You will be setting yourself up for failure, and miss out on much of what college is about.</p>
<p>From Andrew Abbott one of the country's leading authorities on the relation between college and occupation:</p>
<p>"...the best nationwide figures I have seen suggest that a one-full-point increment in college GPAfrom 2.8 to 3.8, for exampleis worth about an additional 9 percent in income four years after college. Thats not much result for a huge amount of work."</p>
<p>That is indeed a pretty small increment. For many, no amount of work, no matter how huge, will result in a gpa increase from 2.8 to 3.8. I wonder about the value of a 4.0. I suspect anyone with perfect grades is not being challenged sufficiently.</p>
<p>Yes your parents' expectations are totally unreasonable and border on mental abuse. Our job as parents are to encourage our children to do their best and to have a balanced and happy life growing up.</p>
<p>As far as specifics, you should make a commitment to work hard and take advantage of the opportunities which UND offers its students. You should promise yourself that you will do those things necessary to for continued participation in the honors program and to maintain any merit scholarships that you may be receiving.</p>
<p>In the honors program the one thing which may determine your academic success is not your final gpa but the quality of your senior thesis. Begin thinking about this early on. Talk to your advisor at the beginning of soph year about defining areas which pique your interest and have him/her recommend professors which might be willing to mentor you. It is likely that they will involve you in some aspect of their research and offer suggestions for possible independent study. One critical reason to try identifying your sr thesis topic early is it will allow you to craft your academic plan to include those courses that might be important prerequisites to your independent research. Our son's program requres a senior thesis too and he worked with his 2 advisors to complete a proposed 4 year academic plan at the end of his frosh year so that he is prepared to do indepedent research involving fuzzy logic. Two courses identified were CompSci-LISP programming and EECS-Fuzzy Sets and Expert Systems. You are likely to be in the same situation.</p>
<p>Good luck.</p>
<p>I, as a parent, have never been focused on the "grade" but more on the excited discussions and revelations my D has found through her reading and other assignments. I can usually tell when a subject isn't of much interest, or worse, has eluded her altogether, because little is said about it. But toss her a bone about medieval history in Scotland, Wales, or England and we're up till the wee hours pouring through Internet sites and books.</p>
<p>I've encouraged my D to 'really' look at the course offerings and do her best to match her interests with the requirements. </p>
<p>I'm STILL not focused on the grades aspect, because I want her to be as excited about college study as she is about her self growth. And she's a great citizen of the world! So I'm not worried.</p>
<p>Maybe the OP could print out some key phrases in this thread and pass them to her/his parents to compare how other parents view the college experience, without being confrontational.</p>
<p>Just be happy you did not choose to attend UChicago. The last time a student graduated with a 4.0 was 2002 (and, I believe there was only one). College honors is 3.25.</p>
<p>idad: I would agree with the UChi approach. Demanding academics should mean really good students work hard for B's and only a small percentage of the most accomplished students get A's. There is always the possibility that a very gifted individual can get an A in every subject but that should be a rarity.</p>
<p>Thanks for all the replies. I talked with my parents, and everything is okay. They said they were simply trying to motivate and encourage me. They said they just want me to try my best, and that they know I will. I think everything is okay now. They understand that a 4.0 at ND is probably not going to happen regardless of how hard I work. I feel so much better now!</p>
<p>Excellent!</p>
<p>One thing that your parents will also need to accept - is that they don't have access to your grades. It's up to you to share or not. Why don't you shoot for Dean's List. If you make it, then maybe your parents won't press you for your grades.</p>