Really feel passionless and lost in college. Deep soul searching

Student Lounge College Life
1

So, on paper, my freshman year has been going fantastic. I made a GPA over 3.9 at a Top 20 University, made plenty of lifelong friends who also know how to have fun, and found a great balance between maintaining a vibrant social and academic life. There’s a lot to be excited for next semester with fraternity rush. My college life has been amazing so far, what I’m concerned about is what comes AFTER…

I’m currently a business/finance major because:
A) It’s really flexible and I really don’t know what I enjoy/am passionate about with my life B) Need the money to provide for my super poor family

A lot of the business majors somehow seem to have known since they were fetuses that they were interested in business. I’m afraid that my PERSONALITY really isn’t the best fit for prestigious jobs within business/finance.

I’m NOT a very competitive or assertive person, often described as “too nice” of a guy, too “soft”. Not very athletic, not very competitive. Also, I’m a recovering person with a speech impediment so my voice can be quite unassertive/unclear and sometimes it takes me time to warm up to new people. I’m still a very social guy, but to be perfectly honest I can get anxious/intimidated in social situations/new people sometimes (mostly bc stutter). Sometimes I just don’t think my personality /social abilities really fits into the stereotypical successful Investment Banker/Consultant/ Corporate Exec. mold. Basically, I’m dubious if my personality is really the personality of a business leader.

Obviously some of these personality traits can be improved and changed, but a lot of these traits have been conditioned within me my entire life so I’m not confident if I can make a completely 180 by internship/graduation time. I could “fake it”, but then, what’s the point?

During college I joined a lot of clubs, including some random social entrepreneurship/finance ones and the school paper. Do clubs usually re-recruit during the Spring semester? I feel like I wasted a lot of time joining organizations that are run by terrible leaders or just clubs I’m not passionate about. A lot of the time I feel like I only joined the clubs because they’re the only ones I got accepted to at the time, I plan on dropping a lot of them, if not all of them by next semester. Is this really bad? I just feel passionless and stupid while everyone else has their crap together. It’s also annoying that every single club has an application…

I considered other career paths such as
A) Medicine - Always sucked/unpassionate about science/chemistry. Got a 28 on Science ACT and bombed chemistry in HS/was never a STEM guy. Really think my personality would fit well into this career though. Also think it’s too late to be pre-med ( would require a ton of summer courses = $$$$$ )
B) Law/Politics - Same personality problem as business
C) Technology - never was really a STEM guy. Could be fun to boss around nerds someday, though ( just kidding haha )

I don’t know, call me spoiled, but my life is full of uncertainty right now and that really scares me. I’m doing well in business courses right now because well, business is easy haha. I feel like I’m probably just going to end up continuing in business and live my life pursuing a career I may or may not ever be good at.

2

College is a time where you can explore your interests and see what you like. It’s totally normal and okay to not know exactly what you want to do! College can help you find your passion.

The good news is that you are doing excellent with high grades and good friends. Take the next year or so to take gen ed classes that interest you. See if you like other subjects and see what you’re good at; don’t feel too bound by your major and trajectory since you still have plenty of time to change it. I added on an extra major during my sophomore year and i still graduated on time. You never know what may come up as you continue on! Also try different clubs and organizations and see what bodes well with you. I’m not a medical school expert, but I’d image that there may still be time for you to go that route if you wish.

Good luck and best wishes.

3

Since you’re a freshman and you’re feeling a bit lost - are you taking as many different types of general education courses as you can? (That fit into your requirements obviously). That’s one of the best ways to figure out what you’re interested in. It’s normal to feel lost, it took me many years to figure out what major I wanted.

4

You certainly don’t have to be assertive to be an analyst for an investment house, you just have to be solid and thorough. I think the path you are on looks bright and there are good opportunities in business for your personality type.

5

Deep breath. You just started college and you are trying to think about too much all at once, like the entire scope of your life and future. It isn’t possible to do that and will only lead to unnecessary anxity. Slow down, take one day at a time. Don’t expect to feel full of passion every second, that isn’t realistic. Drop the clubs that you really don’t like, keep the ones you do, or try others. Keep your GPA up while spending time at the career center and doing some career exploration activities. Life is an ongoing process with many twists and turns, often unexpected things turn out to be the best things that happen to you. Be open and responsible, things will work out.

6

Yes, no worries. There’s a lot of time for you to figure things out.

First, you’re incredibly talented and devoted. Clearly.

Second, don’t worry about your speech issues in terms of how others perceive you. Really. In many positions in law or finance none of that matters. You may even run for office someday! I understand that it must be trying and difficult for you, but if I can speak for many of us, it’s barely an issue. Kind of like: it’s noticeable, but then people generally go about 2 seconds and say: oh so what. This person is smart, competent and nice. I like him!

Third: who the heck can tell if your PERSONALITY is not right for these jobs? They are vastly varied once you get inside.

The most important thing is that you find something that you LOVE to do. Take it from a person who came from a poor poor poor family and had to send money home to parents to keep the lights on. Literally. Take it from someone who went into an MBA because of family pressure: don’t do that, unless you LOVE it. Only if your heart is really in your chosen field will it work out for you.

It’s not like you start pulling down a huge salary in business or law instantly. There are several years between where you are now and Huge Salary. And in those years, you have to suck it in and put out huge energy and strategic thinking in order to arrive at Huge Salary. Do you have that in you?? I didn’t. And I’m as dogged as they get. What I lacked was the spark of imagination in those areas. In my experience all jobs require more heart and work and imagination/ creativity than it appears on the surface. Therefore you should choose the career that you love so much that you don’t mind putting your heart and work and creativity into, without pay.

That’s my metric: what would you do for free? And do for 80 hours a week FOR FREE? That’s the field you should go into. Yes you CAN do that. I was told my entire childhood and into my adult life that i must must must go into business. It’s safe. It’s lucrative. But it wasn’t for me. Because: I sucked at that. I sucked at business because I had no natural affinity for it. I had no spirit. No imagination for MBA type jobs. What I would have done really well at:

  • law
  • forensic accounting (which is not the same as business school!)
  • academia

Any number of things, but not an MBA which is what my family pressed me into. It was awful. and I regret everything. But I was afraid of my obligations to my family. I was afraid of always being poor. Afraid of the wolf at the door.

In the end I was so depressed that I left B-school after graduating and became a temporary secretary and started over, ruing that I’d lost so much time. If only I had been allowed to discover what really interested me from the start. I’d lost a decade. And I paid every penny of my education, but I was devoted to my family and their vision to me.

Dont’ be like me. Take the time now to figure out where your heart is. Do as others have suggested and take a bunch of courses that you never expected to take. Take Russian literature, and African art history, and nutrition, and astronomy and geology and such. Geology is super lucrative. Any of those will lead you to law, if you want a professional degree later. And you can tell your parents: I’m going into law! Don’t worry! And maybe buy yourself some time.

best of luck