Really Heavy Yale Essay-- Too Much?

<p>Hey everyone,</p>

<p>I wrote a Yale supplement essay, and my topic ended up being really heavy, borderline sob story (but not at all cliche). I'm tweaking out the ending, trying to make more fit in less than 500 words.</p>

<p>Anyone up to read and offer feedback?</p>

<p>sure send it to me</p>