<p>WK725, you really can’t delay talking to your parents about this. It is very important to have good prenatal care early in your pregnancy (eg, vitamins, checkups) to ensure the health of the baby and your own health if you intend to carry your pregnancy to term. Whether you keep the baby or give it to another family, you need to give it the healthiest start in life that you can. </p>
<p>I am concerned about your choice of words, saying you will be “confronting” the baby’s father and his parents. You need to share this info ASAP with him, too. He is on the hook for 18 years of child support if you keep the baby, whether you stay together or not. This could have a huge impact on his college plans as well.</p>
<p>Instead of talking with strangers on the internet, you need your own family, your bf, and his family involved in your decision making. But don’t keep the secret any longer, for the sake of your baby’s health.</p>
<p>I will tell you, when I got pregnant with my first child, my OB doctor said that I would forget all about my career when the baby was born. That didn’t happen at all. But 21 years later, I will say that I have made some career choices that were best for my children, not for my career growth. But what is good for my kids is good for me… that is what I think after all these years as a parent. Just keep putting what is best for your baby first, and it will help you through this.</p>
<p>Good point. I’m wondering what’ll happen though if there are opposing views (i.e., he/his parents don’t want to put the little guy/girl up for adoption, but mine do [or vice-versa])…</p>
<p>If you want to put the child up for adoption and he and his parents do not, then they can raise the child. It’s his child too. As the one carrying the child, you get certain first rights, but the father also has rights too. </p>
<p>As we have all been saying, you have more pressing issues than whether Harvard or other selective colleges will view your pregnancy and/or baby an issue in admissions.</p>
<p>Worried: You have some tough decisions ahead of you. When you talk with your parents, be sure to emphasize that you need a plan that is the best for their future grandchild and you. Keep in mind that you still need to have dreams and goals but now there another person to factor in to them (and before that the physical effects of pregnancy). </p>
<p>It seems that this news and its consequences are just starting to come into focus for you, but I would not expect anything different as you just found out. </p>
<p>You will have to think about what it means to be a parent and how much of a parental role you will have in your child’s life.</p>
<p>worriedkid725, im not going to anoy u or say that your wrong.
i just REALLY want to now one thing, please tell me.
why would you have sexual reletions at such a young age?? knowing that it could hurt your future or that you could get pregnint.
where you drunk?? and how long have you been going out with him</p>
<p>You would be a “non-traditional” student just by virtue of being a parent. You would not fit into the culture of a school like Harvard at all. You don’t know this now, but being a mother will change you completely. A program like this one would be more supportive of what you are trying to do with your life.</p>
<p>I was married, working with a couple of degrees under my belt and at the age of 30, I was nt sure I was ready to take care of a kid as a father. After 17 years as a parent, I am still unsure about 50% of the time whether I am making the right decisions as a parent. I have a strong suspicion that a lot of parents on CC have similar feelings and that is one of the reasons they are here talking about different decisions a lot just to see if they are on the right track. </p>
<p>At about 40,000+ applications in two years, Harvard’s expected acceptance rate will be 5% (it was 35,000 this year with 2100 acceptances and they grew from 19k or so from 2004 (?) with no increase in number of seats). Probably about 60% of the applicants believe they deserve to be admitted and the rest sent one in because they are going what the heck, it is Harvard after all. As lookingforward mentioned, it still leaves adcoms with a pile of over 20,000 actual contenders and at any point, the application can get thrown out. So getting into a P(%^ing contest with others about who has better ECs is totally useless since the competition is two years from now and each year it is getting incredibly tougher. </p>
<p>Just like what is written in fine print for any company quarterly performance about past performance not an indicator of future performance, the past year’s performance of a specific school does nt guarantee a continued success in future. I have a sample of one where my local public school sent 5 people to Harvard last year but only one was admitted this year but is not going.</p>
<p>335426607: I don’t know who you are or how old you are… but it sounds like SOMEONE never got any in high school. </p>
<p>Ok but really. Put that little blastocyst up for adoption. Then get on with your life. I guarantee you that there are millions of other kids in the world. No… billions! When you can actually handle one (financially, emotionally, et cetera) maybe you can pick one of those. Admittedly, this issue is very polarized, so you will probably scoff at my advice. But this is how I think of it: is your own life worth so little to you that you would sacrifice it (or its potential) for an easily replaceable bundle of cells? Nahhhhhhh</p>
<p>samslam, spoken like someone who has never had a child… if the OP were my daughter I would probably encourage her to put the child up for adoption, but not because it is an “easily replacable bundle of cells”. Instead, because it is an incredibly precious gift that deserves the very best start and support in life possible. And a 16 year old (probably with a 16 or 17 year old boyfriend) is rarely able to provide that.</p>
<p>A side note… my daughter (21) commented that their hs health class taught them to always use TWO methods of birth control, since sometimes they fail. Just some good advice all those students out here who don’t want to end up with an unwanted pregnancy.</p>
<p>Worried, at this point, none of us, including you, know how you will choose. Though some have their opinions, you deserve a fair chance to evaluate for yourself. Then with the guy. To consider adoption, you’ll need advice from the kind of people who specialize in helping girls make decisions. I hope you can find someone who is compassionate and informative. You may find a referral to one of these organizations through your church, school or doctor.</p>
<p>Not all adoptions are “open.” As far as I know, that is the birth mother’s choice first, then agreed to by prospective adoptive parents. Some are comforted by it, some feel it is not needed.</p>
<p>Not every birth mom has regrets about adoption. In today’s world, it is easier than ever to make contact, after the child turns at least 18, if both parties wish. The process by which prospective parents are evaluated does its best to ensure they are loving and capable. There are many great stories. I know scads of people who adopted, were adopted or had a family member or spouse who was. Personally, I have yet to hear anything but ordinary, loving family feelings. </p>
<p>If you choose to keep the child, well sure, we all have our tales of the challenges. Of course you can succeed as a young parent, if your heart is in the right place. Just be open to the idea that some dreams may have to be delayed. You’ll need support. I think a number of us wanted to ensure you had your eye on the right ball- the baby, not the old dreams. You may still be able to get to a Harvard, JHU or whatever- just a bit past the schedule you hoped for. Again, good luck.</p>
<p>really, really samslam. im not even in highschool, im in grade 8
plus you are terribly wrong, what kind of dum@$$ would do it in highschool.
i woudn’t want to do it until im atleast married and know shes the one.
i dont want go around like doing people like im a prostetuite</p>
<p>Worried, go talk to your parents now. Nobody will ever love you like they do. No matter how mad or disappointed they are initially, they want what is best for you. Give the information a little time to sink in and then have the keep it/adoption/abortion discussion with them. Chances are, if you’ve been involved in relationships, this possibility has occurred to them. They may be ready with advice.</p>
<p>Reread all the posts by intparent. Good advice there.</p>
<p>Then, stop worrying about where one might apply for right now and focus on your current medical situation. If the time comes to make college decisions and you have a child to consider, be sure to look at schools with family housing and day care options. I seriously think this is going to knock out a lot of top tier schools, no matter what your stats. As others have said, should you raise the child, you will stop thinking about what you want and start thinking about how you can best provide for a child while pursuing an education. That’s just what happens to good parents.</p>
<p>You say that now. I said that, too, when I was in eighth grade. Things change as you get older.</p>
<p>@worried I would say that you ultimately have to weigh what your real priorities are. If you think you can give the kid a good life and take care of it while pursuing an Ivy-esque resume, then power to you. However, if one’s going to have to be sacrificed, then I’d say you need to decide what is more important to you right now; a kid or an education. It’s your call…</p>