<p>Got the request for a recommendation on Sunday. Now I can worry about something else.</p>
<p>I got the request last week. You’d think I would have already decided what to say in all those intervening weeks, but my brain is completely locked up now. See, something new to worry about already.</p>
<p>I think I only rewrote mine 50 times. Had to resist the urge not to include every kind deed or thought from the last 17 years. Asked DS if he wanted to see it before I sent it off. He said no, so I put it in the family archive box for him to discover someday (probably after I am dead!)</p>
<p>Well, at the risk of being labeled a braggart, here is what I wrote Hampshire for my son:</p>
<p>After devoting a day to strolling Hampshire’s campus, touring the museums, chatting with a few students, and poking my nose into various nooks and crannies, I knew that this was the right place for S. On his application, S wrote three words that he thought his parents would use to describe him: “Carefree, stubborn, and joyful.” I recall disputing his choices, but he argued that they were his own impression of how we would describe him. I would have chosen, “Inquisitive, outspoken, and steadfast”; all qualities that initially attracted him to Hampshire’s Academic Program, and which should serve him well after he arrived. </p>
<p>Throughout his life, S has demonstrated perpetual inquisitiveness, which has tended to lead him farther afield than most of his peers. To be sure, we have strongly reinforced this tendency, particularly by providing numerous opportunities to experience new cultures and environments. Nevertheless, S always seems to take these experiences a step further, exploring avenues I would never have dreamed existed. Sometimes those explorations cause him to wander far from the original matter at hand, but I remain gratified that he makes those choices, as opposed to walking a narrower path.</p>
<p>We took a sabbatical year and traveled throughout the South Pacific on a trip that never seemed to exhaust S’s endless 10-year old curiosity. One particular experience really drove home for me why we had decided to invest in this journey. On the first evening of a 4-day backpacking trip across the Fijian island of Viti Levu, we slept in the home of our guide’s family. They lived in typical Fijian thatched bures, with grass mat floors and a small cabinet for all their belongings. My daughter surveyed her surroundings and declared, “Oh, they live in poverty.” S proceeded to explain to her that these people were quite content and lived well off what they grew or traded with their distant neighbors. Despite their lack of possessions, they wanted for nothing. I still remember my amazement at his innate ability to draw his own conclusions entirely from his own experiences. </p>
<p>S’s fascination with new places, people, and customs was catalyzed by our sabbatical, but it also marked the beginning of his own struggles with Western culture’s materialism. He clearly feels the pull of a simpler life but at the same time he is very much a typical teenager, trying to balance what he wants versus what he needs; and trying to justify those desires and make the best decisions for himself. S has definitely achieved that balance in how he chooses to spend his leisure time: surrounded by good friends playing soccer or Frisbee, or just lying at the beach. Add some music and he’s in heaven. </p>
<p>His thirst for understanding other cultures is inspiring. However, I am most taken with S’s easy willingness to be outspoken. Time and again, I have experienced a mixed-age group discussion in which S was the only fully-participating teenager. Too often I take this trait for granted, until a student, teacher, or friend approaches me to tell me how impressed they were with my son’s presence. To this day, S’s elementary school teachers tell me how memorable he was, primarily because he was always willing and ready to engage them in a probing discussion. He would bring to Hampshire this unbridled enthusiasm for being an active participant in learning. </p>
<p>I think of the opportunities that an Hampshire education presents, and it seems right up S’s alley. I can see the shine in his eyes and the excitement in his voice when he envisions having the ability to design a course of study that will give him the ability to fully explore his interests and passions; and to have like-minded students and teachers to help him channel and focus those dreams.</p>
<p>ALF – </p>
<p>Thanks for posting your letter. I can only wish that I can be as astute an observer of my child as you are of yours. Your letter makes your son seem exactly like the sort of person that my daughter and I like to imagine she will be surrounded by at Hampshire. </p>
<p>If I hadn’t written my parental recommendation on the day that the request came, I’m sure that my missive would have benefitted if I’d had yours as a model.</p>
<p>Odd my son applied there and I do not remember getting that request.</p>
<p>We got the request weeks ago (about 4 weeks after submitting app). At that time, Hampshire was not a contender so I did not write it. School has now climbed higher to 2nd/3rd on the D’s list- so maybe I should have. I decided that my daughter’s app really showed who she was so having my letter would not add anything. Instead we went to visit the campus last week to “show the love”. We’ll see how it turns out.</p>
<p>Orezero, I’m glad you liked the letter - I was worried about posting it and exposing myself to allegations of excessive kvelling. Our son graduated in from Hampshire in 2010, and I’m sure that my letter was the sole reason he was accepted ;)</p>
<p>Seriously though, I still find it hard to believe that a parent recommendation letter could make or break the case for a college accepting an applicant. As I noted in a previous post, I enjoyed writing these letters, but I can’t imagine that they make a difference.</p>
<p>Our daughter is in her second year at Hampshire, and my letter got her in too:</p>
<p>Three years ago, I responded to this same invitation for our son. I noted that after spending a day on the Hampshire campus, I knew this was the right place for him. Now, through attending orientations and Parents Weekends, pick-up and drop-off visits, and S’s accounts of his experiences, I can state with even more assurance that this is indeed the right place for our daughter, R, as well. She possesses the traits that are so evident in many of the successful Hampshire students I have met.</p>
<p>I have always been deeply impressed with R’s adventurousness and confidence in herself. For example, at the age of 6, she proposed to hike with us across New Zealand’s remote and rugged 32-mile Milford Track instead of staying behind with an adult. She pulled it off too, delighting in the surprise of other hikers who always asked the same question, “Little girl, how did you get here?” And she has never looked back, continuing to find new adventures, such as deciding to leave the comfort of her home, friends and family for a high school exchange semester on a kibbutz in Israel. Upon her return, she announced that she was quitting the softball team and trying out for the school musical production (even though auditions had already occurred). They found her a small part, which in turn led to larger roles, and a year later, R won her school’s Best Actress award.</p>
<p>I am also quite taken with R’s selflessness and desire to help others. At the age of ten she began volunteering at a week-long camp for handicapped kids, even though her friends were attending summer camps of their own. This past August, R completed her eighth year of participation. I’m also reminded of the day she arrived home, lugging a large case instead of her customary saxophone. R informed us that the high school band was long on saxes but short on horns, so she volunteered to play the French horn even though she had never touched a brass instrument before. She persevered through the year, becoming a passable horn player, and then returned to her favorite instrument when new students arrived to correct the imbalance.</p>
<p>R has managed to combine both of these traits well, resulting in that less-definable quality of leadership. At the age of 14, she began organizing trips from our semi-rural location into Seattle via public transportation. A number of parents initially vetoed the idea, but relented when they discovered that R was involved. She is a woodwind section leader in the school band and wind ensemble, despite the fact that there are more accomplished musicians from which to choose. At R’s urging, her friends and acquaintances now staff the aforementioned summer camp.</p>
<p>The end result is we have a daughter who seems to be involved and engaged in everything. I find myself constantly surprised and at times confused over where R is and what she is doing. I tend to think that she is spread too thin, but somehow everything seems to fall into place. She is excited by the opportunities that Hampshire presents, and I feel confident that she will avail herself of those opportunities to the fullest.</p>
<p>ALF, thanks for posting your letters! Admittedly I’m a bit intimidated, not to mention a bit late. I just finished my daughter’s rec. Perhaps they’ll be impressed that she’s a better writer than her mother – that’s got to count for something.</p>
<p>You are welcome, and I’ll bet that your recommendation letter is better than you think.</p>
<p>What I really like about my letters is that in both cases my predictions proved true. Our son was indeed inquisitive and outspoken at Hampshire (perhaps the latter to a fault). Our daughter does indeed seem to be involved in everything and I’m still confused about many of her activities.</p>
<p>My poor D. She liked Hampshire a lot, but is putting it further down her list because she does not feel prepared for the rigor of the work. She has attended a newfangled program which promised rigor, but just delivered too much work (not challenging in an of itself). She was most impressed by the students and the program. Too bad as I think it could be a good match for her. Maybe I should have written a rec and so she could see how well I think she could do there. I guess it may just not be meant to be.</p>