This is what my son ended up having to do, because his school rations LORs and his 11th grade math teacher was already fully booked by the time he asked. He got a LOR from a 12th grade teacher and it turned out to be the best possible option, since that teacher only writes a few selected LORs per year and they are good ones.
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It’s OK, you don’t have to feel too bad for the student 
We have told him until we are blue in the face that it’s rude to not do the work teachers assign and that they put thought and effort into creating those assignments. We’ve also told him how important it is to chat with teachers and put in that extra effort to have a good relationship. He says he “doesn’t want to be a butt-kisser like my sister.” The sister who of course got great recs! I think it has to do with maturity and he will just have to learn that in school and in the workplace relationships matter just as much and even more than the fact that he is quick and clever.
That being said, he does have great relationships with two AP social studies/history teachers. They seem to get him and appreciate his ways. I am thinking maybe he should just go with those two recommendations even though they aren’t STEM. Thoughts? He is not planning to major in science or math - yes maybe Econ, but Econ more along the lines of Econ/PoliSci, etc.
Nah, he needs a STEM rec - but that can be from a science teacher, too - doesn’t just have to be math. I’m assuming that he’s taking Calc BC, or AP Stats next year? An AP science? Either of those would work.
Meanwhile, the more important thing is the teachable moment. I totally get your son (but then again, I’m probably on the ASD spectrum). The ability to get peers and supervisors to like you is very important, just as important as doing fantastic work. Developing the capacity to view the situation from the other person’s side is crucial for him. Maybe you, or your spouse, or another trusted adult can help him to see that this is the consequence of his having disdained the teacher’s effort to help the class, in general, by choosing helpful homework assignments for the majority of the class, even though clearly he didn’t need them. If he really had been under huge time pressure with his other classes and ECs, and he was consistently getting high grades on tests without doing the homework, he should have at least gone to the teacher and asked to be excused from what was for him, unnecessary busy work as long as he continued to ace the exams.
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This won’t help your situation now, but I applaud this kind of thinking. Pleasers, (what your kid calls butt kissers and mine called try-hards) often do things for praise and validation from others, and while this can have its own benefits (good LORs!), it can also lead to a place of deep dissatisfaction.
Clearly, there is some place for simply sucking it up from time to time, but it’s pretty easy to lose yourself by bending to the desires of others. Fwiw, I suspect he’ll generally be happy in what he does.
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I think the key thing you mention here is that he does not do all of his homework.
That’s not unusual at all. I literally listened to a dean of admissions at very good college mention this very thing recently.
She was just giving your student a bit of transparency about what she would say in case he wanted to ask another teacher where he might have turned in all of his work.
As far as what to do, do the colleges he is applying to ask for a STEM rec? Is there a science teacher he could ask in a class where he has turned in his hw? If yes, ask that teacher. If not, use the calc teacher’s rec.
He should only wait and ask the next math teacher if he plans to turn the hw in. Otherwise, the letter from that teacher might say the same thing.
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I agree there are some positives about this attitude. I have multiple children - one is very much a pleaser and cares a lot what everyone else thinks and this one cares nothing what people think of him. I think there are pros and cons to both attitudes. I wish they could all be right in the middle
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I guess this is an unpopular opinion, but I don’t think he needs a STEM LOR. If the school he’s applying to doesn’t specify that they want one STEM/one humanities (I’m thinking of MIT here), I think you should pick the two teachers that know him best and will give the best letters. Ideally, it’s not 2 history. Is an Eng teacher an option? But I would still go with 2 good letters instead of one good/one equivocal letter.
I was recently at a college tour where an AO had a Q&A session. I asked him if it raises any red flags if a kid has 2 STEM letters or 2 humanities letters (instead of one of each). He replied that it makes no difference and that the most important thing is to ask teachers that know the student well.
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As a follow up, I just listened to the Yale Admissions Podcast, episode 9. It’s about LOR’s. They say to pick 2 teachers that know and like you. And that’s the only advice to follow. They very specifically say the 2 teachers need not be any specific combination of subjects, or relate to your major… and not to play “3-dimensional chess” by thinking you have to pick a certain combo of teachers.
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Thank you! That’s good to know.