<p>Woke up to the new High Alert this morning. I am terrified. My only child will leave for college 1000 miles away, and near New York and D.C. I am frozen with fear. My thought are swirling around me....Should I only let her fly a certain airline, should I drive her, should I make her take a train, should I have her take flights that aren't near NY and DC then have her take the train, etc!! Then there is....she won't be able to come home because of all the terror threats. Flights will become too dangerous. I won't get to have her home for Thanksgiving or Christmas. And if I fly there to see her and something happens to me, she won't be able to finish college, and will be alone. Etc Etc Etc. Please, no jokesters here. I really need help. I cannot get a grip. My daughter isn't afraid.</p>
<p>Well, I'm not going to make fun of you. Terrorism IS a real threat. But we have to go on living. It's important to keep these things in perspective.
1. Your daughter has to go to college no matter what. You have to let go sometime :/
2. The possibility of a terrorist attack hurting you or your daughter EXISTS but is nowhere near as bad as it seems. Don't worry too much. People commute/fly every day. There's a danger in everything we do, but it's important not to blow up these dangers too much.</p>
<p>Puddin - I hear you, some of the same thoughts go through my mind. My D and I fly off to move back in soon, then she is off to France in the spring. Another poster has a D stranded in England now. She was worried about her child AND dreaded what her mother was going to say about endangering her grandchild.</p>
<p>Truth is though - even with all this, you are in much more real danger driving her to college. We have a long way to go before flying becomes more dangerous than driving. Another thought - these revelations make us safer, rather than less safe. We weren't "safe" on Sept 10 2001, we just didn't realize that we were in danger.
The best revenge is living well - be safe, but be calm. Ativan before flying works well.</p>
<p>Our DD is going to college on the opposite coast...and flying to a major metro area. DS went to London for a study abroad LAST fall just after the bombings in their subways. Sure, I'm concerned but I refuse to let terrorism control my life.</p>
<p>The odds of any particular flight being attacked are very low, but I think that the chances of flight schedules being disrupted sometime are rather high. It wouldn't hurt to check the school's policies to see whether the dorms remain open during vacation periods and to ensure that your daughter has plenty of money to rent a motel room if they don't. It also wouldn't hurt to check out alternate forms of transportation.</p>
<p>I live near Washington, DC, and there's always a certain awareness here of terrorism. But we can't let it stop us from living our lives. If we do, the terrorists have won.</p>
<p>my D is in london right now stuck at an airport, its been about 6 hours so far, and we are hoping her flign isnt is cancelled, and having to figure out where she is going to stay etc...its complicated</p>
<p>the other D my youngest went in for surgery</p>
<p>so believe me I understnad the fear</p>
<p>but all you can do is live your life, people are in the world with other people and so long as we have that, there is dange, just crossing the street</p>
<p>you have to let your D live and enjoy her life, she will be fine, as will my Ds</p>
<p>for me I am focusing on the logistics of what will happen if she is stuck in london for a few days, calling in my chips as it were</p>
<p>for me sending her to England was a bit rough, but she grew SOOOO much while she was there, I know that in the future, because she was able to take care of herself, she will be able to handle herself very well and handle alot more had she not gone</p>
<p>look at it that why, we cant protect them forever, and growing and exploring makes them stronger and more capapble</p>
<p>Terrorist threats existed before 9/11, it's just that everyone had their heads in the sand that it wouldn't happen here. Although I don't have first-hand experience with the NY/DC airports, my opinion is that the large airports are trained and capable of dealing with terrorist threats. When high alerts occur, the airports are even more careful. Trains/busses etc are not exempt from accidents/terrorism. </p>
<p>In our lives accidents happen, snowstorms hit, etc. so terrorism is not the only thing that may keep our family away for the holidays. I believe that we need to be aware, and prepared but not fearful, or the terrorists will have won. As adults we need to show our children how to go on and be flexible...although sometimes our children can teach us a lesson or two!! If you show your daughter your fear then she will be concentrating on your anxiety instead of starting her exciting new life at college. Millions of people fly each day without a problem...it is just the bad news that gets the press coverage. Take care...</p>
<p>If you think about it, it is safer flying today than it was yesterday because of the much higher security measures in place. And in fact there is a higher likelihood of harm coming to her on the drive to the airport than on the plane.</p>
<p>I agree with originaloog.</p>
<p>Also, I suggest that you do whatever you can to ensure that your D can finish college even if you should die. It's not just terrorism that you have to be worried about, but Fate in general. I know a college student who lost 2 54-year-old parents within 5 months of each other. Her mother dropped dead of a stroke at work. Her dad died in his sleep of a heart attack. Both were considered to be healthy.</p>
<p>As for considering which airlines and transportation to use, you can't guarantee safety. This was true before Sept. 11, and it's true now. Trains, subways, stores, theaters and various other buildings have been targets of terrorism in various parts of the world. Odds are slim, however, that you or your D will be victims. Your D is far more likely to be killed by a drunk driver than by a terrorist attack.</p>
<p>Everything depends on your perspective.</p>
<p>I remember some years ago (during Desert Storm), my kids' school cancelled an orchestra trip to Vienna because the parents were concerned about terrorist threats. The school is located at the edge of some of the poorest, most bombed-out, most crime-ridden parts of the city. 90% of the kids at the school take the bus or subway through those areas to get to the school every day (and if they take the subway they walk about 1/3 mile from the subway station). I doubt you could find 50 parents in Vienna, or Beirut for that matter, who would be willing to let their children take the subway from downtown Philadelphia to my kids' high school.</p>
<p>Just as after a major plane crash, now is probably the SAFEST time to fly...</p>
<p>Katliamom, you and I think alike :D But nowadays you never know. There is a war going on in the Middle East yet today there was an attempted terrorist attack in London. And it seems like just yesterday that London was hit by train bombings.</p>
<p>The whole point of terrorists is to make us scared. And the sensational news coverage doesn't help any! </p>
<p>I'd get on a plane this afternoon for London. (In fact if I was going to Europe this afternoon I'd be thrilled - well, except for the airport delays...) </p>
<p>Life is just too short to sit home scared.</p>
<p>Puddin, I truly understand the anxiety. But if you put that aside and think realistically, the odds of danger from terrorism for your D are very very very slim. Also, our minds are on it more when a news event like this happens but the danger was there before this but not as much in our consciousness. However, like others have said, when you think about it realistically, your D is at FAR more risk in other endeavors, such as in a car. I feel that I cannot let the fears of terrorism affect living my life. And realistically, I know my kids face greater risks in lots of other stuff they do besides flying. </p>
<p>I have a child who goes to college in NYC and the terrorism threat is not on my mind there. Other risks are, however. </p>
<p>I have a child in France right now on her own who is due to fly home to a major city in the US in two weeks. Yeah, there are added stresses with what is going on at airports, but likely this heightened security makes it even safer to fly. I still think the risk per person is slim. She is going to be studying abroad in Italy this fall as well. I'm the one who posted on another thread about my mother. BEFORE this latest news event, she was VERY down on me for even letting my D travel in another country on her own, etc. I realize that there is some perception of her being far away and in more danger and I had to tell her that my kids are in more danger driving the car. In fact, my other teenager came close to death in a severe car crash a year and a half ago but thankfully survived and made a full recovery. That sort of stuff makes me more nervous. </p>
<p>So, I think the latest news heightens our fears and anxiety a bit but truthfully many people fly daily with no incident and these incidents are rare, much rarer than other risks. It is just more on our mind when it is in the news. In between these events, people aren't thinking so much of it, if you notice. I think a lot of your concern is tied into a child being far from home and the assumption that she is safer if nearby but logistically speaking, that is not really the case. </p>
<p>I am a protective parent but I have learned to let my kids soar and go off to college, travel far away, live away from home, etc. because it is part of growing up and I am not going to stop that for some terrorists.</p>
<p>My thoughts and prayers are with you and your daughters, Citygirlsmom and Puddin. My older D is also in London right now and is scheduled to fly home on Saturday. Although she is a little nervous, she has had the most incredible summer of her life and is so appreciative that she was able to participate in her college's theatre course there. She will be spending the fall semester in NYC and is also a little leery of that now, too; however, I have no doubt that she will continue her plans as scheduled. </p>
<p>We are very protective parents, too, as Soozie is, but we will not let terrorists put a halt to our child's educational dreams. She has gained so much independence and maturity from her past two summers in the U.K., and we are so pleased that she continues to blossom into such a well-rounded and well-grounded adult citizen.</p>
<p>I appreciate all the great perspectives posted! Kind of mirroring my thought processes during the day. I too have a good deal of confidence in the British authorities, they've been dealing with terrorist threats for many years now but it's still very unnerving, especially when my child is 5000 miles away. There's absolutely nothing I can do about her being in England at the moment, however, I did find myself wanting to cancel a road trip I had planned with my other daughter tomorrow! (I haven't and I won't) It's that sense of heightened awareness about all the common and uncommon dangers that we can face and the unpredictability of life in general - trying to control things I can't control. I knew a situation like this could happen if she travelled to Europe but as others have said, bad stuff can happen in any situation and most of the time it doesn't. Puddin -with a D in college I've found that 100 miles away is not that different from 1000. The kids have a whole new level of independence and one just has to hope for the best. I've found that my anxiety level decreased as I became used to my D being away - just the time factor helped - you just have to try to keep your nerve in the interim and try to hide your fears from them so they can experience the joys and excitement of this next part of their lives.</p>
<p>I'm just thinking of the upcoming cross-country flight we will take with D, taking her to college. We were planning to bring her laptop & printer as carry-on luggage. The new restrictions -- no carry-on electronic equipment of any kind -- will certainly put a crimp in these plans...</p>
<p>i think that the no carry on electronics was just in the UK.... but I could be wrong</p>
<p>I just heard from a friend stuck in Dallas - at least for today, no electronics...</p>
<p>puddin,
Just to echo what others have said, try to take a very big breath and exhale. Along with my family, I will be flying out of JFK airport next week. I am a nervous flyer to begin with, but with what I have seen on the news reports direct from JFK today, it is most likely much safer to fly today than it was at any other time. I realize that I should be more apprehensive about my drive to JFK amongst my fellow crazy NY drivers! ;) The worst that may happen to your daughter will be the inconvenience of having to get to the airport earlier than planned and having to wait in a longer line. Since she is not afraid, try to go with "her flow." There is enough natural anxiety with starting college without the added stress of having mom scared to death about air travel.</p>