Regretting college decision continually since freshman year

Hello everyone.

I am seeking advice about transferring out of my school after 5 semesters. Ever since I arrived at my college, I noticed that people were not too friendly, and that they arranged themselves into groups and cliques that would remain unchangeable. I’ve tried my best to make an effort to find other people and activities, and I am still not happy.

I have talked to my family about leaving my school many times, and they have told me to simply “stick it out,” “give it another chance.” I have tried my best to listen to them, but it has been unsuccessful. I am very unhappy, and to the point that I have looked on review websites, admissions pages, and athletics pages (varsity athlete), to find a better school. I know the saying “the grass isn’t always greener on the other side,” but at this point it probably is. I regret not transferring out after my first two summers, but now we’re here.

Should I stay or go at this point?

Thank you

Are you unhappy with the academics? If so, then you should transfer. If you are only unhappy with the social aspects, then choose your next school very carefully. If you pick another school similar in size, urban/rural, type (LAC, STEM, flagship) it will likely be the same as the school you are at.

I agree with twoinanddone. If you are satisfied with the academics, that is a reason to stay. You can usually build a social life outside the campus by getting a part time job somewhere, volunteering, or joining non-campus groups in the community that may be of interest. Depending on how big the college is, you may be able to meet all new people by joining different clubs, talking to professors about helping with research, or taking some “for fun” classes outside your major.

Of course there’s nothing wrong with transferring either, but it will take careful research. Keep in mind that financial aid may not be as generous for transfer students, and there is a chance you may not be able to graduate in four years if all your credits don’t transfer or if you haven’t met as many requirements in the new college as you should have by this time.

How about a semester abroad next spring? That would leave you only one more semester on campus.

Stick it out. I don’t think it makes sense to transfer as a junior or senior. Many schools will require 2 years on campus because you can graduate. Not everyone loves their college experience. So long as you are happy with the academics, try some of the suggestions mentioned above and focus on your studies, graduate, and move on with your adult life.

Would your state flagship be affordable and a better environment for you?

Transferring may mean losing any scholarship/financial aid and for an athlete losing the chance to play. Would you be ok with that?
Almost all academically sound colleges will require 2 years - if you transfer for the spring semester, you’ll graduate December 2021 - is that ok with you?

OP: I attended a rural LAC dominated by Greek life. Even though I pledged a fraternity, I arranged to live in co-ed, on campus housing and never went to a single fraternity event. I should have transferred. Instead of transferring, I studied abroad for several semesters & graduated a year early by taking classes during the summer. In retrospect, I wish that I had transferred to a large state university in a different region of the country. At that stage of my life, I needed something different.

My point is that I think that I understand your situation.

If transferring is an unrealistic option at this point, then consider a semester abroad and graduating early by taking summer courses at your current school or at another university.

P.S. I think that I should share that the problem was not the LAC, the other students, teachers or coaches–the problem was me. Looking back, I now realize that I was well liked & respected at the LAC, given the best housing, repeated athletic & academic & social opportunities, but that I closed myself off to anything other than reading & exercising & traveling. Although a very social person, I really enjoyed being alone & travelling alone. I wanted to meet new people everyday in new places. Maybe you feel the same.

Change can be great and change can be healthy.

For grad school, I attended a large state university in another region of the country. For me, at that stage of my life, it was the right move. I think that you may need a change.

After rereading the OP’s post which started this thread, I noticed the part about being an athlete.

OP: Are you a DI athlete at a DIII school ?

Thank you everyone for the responses!
I’ll add a little more info about myself:

  1. I am a division 1 student-athlete
  2. I am now considering graduating a semester early

I am at a LAC in a major metropolitan area, and I really enjoy my academic experience here. I would try to do more clubs and such, but the issue is that my sport and classes don’t allow for an opening. At this point I realize graduating early would be my best chance.
I would consider going abroad, but I missed the deadline, plus I’d rather be close to my family.
My parents tell me it’s just “the transition,” but at this point after an internship, and visiting friends at different schools, I realize its the school’s social scene and culture that is really upsetting. I cannot wait to leave school, be around more mature people, and eventually carry on with a job or maybe grad school.
Thank you once again

You can reach out to coaches and see if they might be interested/have an opening on their team.
If you find a team willing to take you on, would you be able/willing to be full pay?
If you don’t find a welcoming team, would you still want to transfer?

You only have 3 semesters to go. Stay and finish. Maybe the collegiate scene isn’t for you? Maybe you will like the work world better?

MYOS1634
At this point, my sport isn’t my primary concern. I like my sport, but I don’t see the hassle of transferring to continue it. I’d rather get my schooling done, and not have to worry about stepping on a new college campus.

At this point I would stick it out. It sounds like you are satisfied with the academics and in your sport. I would strongly consider taking at least a semester to do an abroad program and if you can graduate a semester early that would leave you only one more semester on campus.

If you transfer it is likely that the new college will require you to spend at least two years on campus so you will likely need to extend your time as an undergrad.

I see a conflict with I don’t have time for clubs because of my sport and classes don’t allow it and everyone arranges themselves into groups and cliques. It seems to me many groups and cliques are because of clubs.