Hi everyone,
I’m a rising Junior at my college, and I absolutely hate it. Like, it may be the worst experience I have ever had in my entire life. I transferred here as a sophomore, and after a year, it hasn’t improved. This college was actually my first choice, but outside of the academics, the school itself is a huge letdown. I’ve found that the students are rude, boring, and the social life revolves around people sitting around, complaining about politics, or getting drunk. People don’t leave campus, they don’t go on hikes, they don’t do anything fun. This is very hard and lonely for someone who loves going out. I’ve called my mom crying from frustration and sadness. I’m wondering if I should transfer out, or if this is normal.
Are their clubs that you can join? Many colleges have an outing club. You might want to find a different set of friends, and clubs are a good way to do this.
It is common for students to think that they know more than they do. The world has a way of eventually showing us our place, but it often hasn’t happened yet for college students. This might be more true at highly ranked schools.
I will admit that I did not like my undergraduate years much. Graduate school was much better. I was more mature, and the other students were more mature. For me things did gradually get better after graduating from university.
Why did you transfer from your first college, and why was this college your first choice?
Only 4 semesters to go! College campus life may just not be for you. But on the other hand, each year is different so keep an open mind when you start back up in the fall. Positive energy brings positive experiences.
I get the sense that you feel the grass will always be greener somewhere else. Is it the school that’s the letdown? Or have you let yourself down? What’s going to be different if you transfer again?
Figure out what is making you unhappy. Maybe you should move home and attend commuter college while you address whatever underlying issues you might have. Or, you stick it out for the remainder of your time in college. Not everyone loves going to college. Just get through it.
If you decide to leave this college, you need to figure out which credits will transfer elsewhere. You also need to have a discussion with your parents about what they can afford.
Good advice above: I’d add:
– Perhaps you can do a semester (or two) abroad or at a program with a different college to break things up.
–Transferring is hard. The fact is many friend groups are formed freshman year and it can be tough to break in and find “your people.” Agree that clubs is an avenue to pursue – is there a hiking club, an outdoors club or something like that? Also you just have to keep at it.
Now is the time to take on a leadership role. Organize a hike. Form a camping club if there isn’t one. I don’t think you have to resign yourself to not liking your life. I would bet there are two or three others you can find who feel the same way you do, and really that’s all your need is a couple of good friends who share your interests.
On this whole campus, you couldn’t find one or two people who may like to go on hikes? What did the adcom do - rejected everyone who liked to hike? I went to a small LAC, there were people who liked play/watch sports (not my thing), cross country skiing (tried it a few times), food (went to many great restaurants around the school), partiers (went to many frat parties).
If you were my kid and called me up to tell me “no one does anything fun,” I would tell you to try a bit harder. It would be hard for me to believe that everyone sat about complaining about politics and got drunk.
So you already know the answer. But we adults have to be careful when we tell our kids that college can be the best time in your life. It’s just not for lots of people.
My daughter transfered as a junior and had to make friends and find her “people” as they say. She went outside of herself to try new things. She also likes outside stuff to do. So she volunteered at a boating house that rents kayaks, row boats for students. Became certified and met tons of outdoor enthusiasts to go on hikes with. She even joined a club that went to another state hiking. This is at a LAC with 1400 students. She also joined a food co-op. For $100 semester with 20 students she gets paired up to cook one dinner (vegetarian) /week but eats dinner with these students 7 days a week. It is people she has lot of common with. Seems like nature loving, veggie people are also artsy creative people. These are her “peeps”.
So… What strategy are you going to use to overcome your boredom?
If your willing to share the name of the college I am sure we can find stuff for you to do.
Also look at meet-up groups in your college town. Keep in mind that this can be a mix of college students and just people living in the area and might not be sanctioned through your school but my son found a few interesting things on there then started his own club since at Michigan with over 1500 clubs /activities there was nothing to do ?.
@collegemom3717 There were budget cuts in my home state and I was attending a state university, so I thought it would be best to transfer in order to get in and out after four years instead of five, which seemed to be the average amount of time that undergraduates spend at my old college. Classes can be hard to get into!
@Wondering123Donna. Does your current school have an outdoor /hiking /wilderness group! Club ? I bet they have something similar. Join that! Sometimes my kid will just get a bike and go. She tends to meet others at school that like to bike. The people you are looking for are there. Something tells me you might not be looking in the right places.
Also there might be a Facebook group for your school on this or something similar.