<p>This kind of calculated effort to change the way people see you seems pretty sad and doomed to fail.</p>
<p>Be open to change, be open to new things, and explore when you get to college, sure, but videotaping yourself and taking notes?! Seems kind of ridiculous. One of the nice things about college is that unlike in high school, you don't really have some universal image. Your friends think of you what they think of you, and most other people don't care whether you're an introvert or an extrovert or a cocker spaniel. High school is a claustrophobic fish bowl where you can have a reputation that follows you around; college really isn't like that unless it's a really tiny school.</p>
<p>So resolve to make the most of the opportunities presented to you, but don't throw yourself into some pathetic attempt to morph into one of the "cool kids." There's no such thing in college.</p>
<p>Pseudonym, I'm aware there is not such thing as the cool kids in college but due to my circumstances I have no choice but to change. If I don't, I'll get ripped apart. I was myself in high school and I nearly got creamed for it! lol. Your advise is great and I know what you're saying but I'm not like everyone else.</p>
<p>I'm not trying to be "cool" I'm trying to be normal. You see, I have a long history of disorders that impair my relationships with others. It's the reason I've never had a best friend, been invited to a party in years or even a high school romance. In middle school, I was dubbed the "retarded kid" even though I was in all the honors classes, in high school I was the "school psycho".
Do you think everyone automatically stops snickering at the weirdo in college? 18 or 19 years old is the stepping stone for maturity in every single person?
I know adults that have never grown up at my expense. I wish I was born normal but that's never gonna happen so this is the next best thing...</p>
<p>AFPrep: everyone changes, it's part of growing up and evolving. if people more people were just like they were in high school the world would be a disturbing place.</p>
<p>ps. still supporting the GOP and Bush is absolutely NOTHING to be proud of. but don't worry, this is coming from a liberal since she was born so i've hated him since day one, i'm no "flip-flopper" (BS term). seriously, voted for him once, alright, forgivable, no one knew just how dangerous he would be, twice- CHARACTER FLAW!</p>
<p>change is good. it shows you have the ability to reassess and re-evaluate. OP i'm all for self improvement, but no one needs to take social interaction so seriously they're taking notes(!). just relax, don't worry about things so much, people like hanging out/meeting others who are laid-back</p>
<p>Shallow, superficial advice:
Get a good haircut. Go to a cosmetic counter and have someone show you how to do a make up look that you like. Put some thought into your clothes - don't just wear a t shirt and jeans, add cute jewelry, cute belts - this should help you feel good about the way others see you.</p>
<p>More sincere advice:
Be "open" to listening to others and talking to others. Don't always have headphones in your ears and if you are sitting in the courtyard, don't always have your head buried in a book. Look up, look around. (Maybe do Soduku's or draw or knit or something if you feel too self conscious just sitting there but try not to look like you are too absorbed to be approachable.) Join clubs with nice people. In my opinion, nice people can often be found in service oriented clubs (everyone is nice when they are serving soup at a soup kitchen or hanging drywall for Habitat for Humanity), religious clubs (usually nice kids join these clubs, if the club is not a judgmental type), and outdoorsy clubs (everyone is nice when they are hiking in the woods). Don't wait for others to call you. Make the first move once in a while, but not too often (ask the person or people who were sitting by you at the club meeting if they want to go for coffee or ice cream after the meeting or something like that).</p>
<p>You can do this. I can tell you are a nice person and that in college you will have some nice friends. You don't need to change your inner self; a few changes in the way you act, a fresh start where no one remembers you from middle school, and the maturity of the other students will do it. There are lots of quirky kids at any college, and they all have friends. You can do this. You will have friends at college.</p>
<p>Well for me, I tried to be a lot more "social" and yes, it worked, but had unexpected results. I couldn't focus on studying as much and I had to try to learn to add a bigger social life to what I already knew how to do, so it was difficult.</p>
<p>In the end, I just want to go back to how I was (ok, not completely) but I liked my nerdy quiet self too. :)</p>
<p>Becoming more sociable or a better person isn't something that can be studied like an AP. Notes? Videotapes? You need to start talking to people, the kind of people you'd never dream of talking to otherwise, and listen and learn and live with them. Nobody is going to grade your social self -- I admire your determination to become a better person, but this is the completely wrong way to go about it.</p>
<p>a lot of people are looking to make changes when they go off to college. It's easy to get typecast if you've known the same kids all your life. A girl I know was a bit heavy in middle school and she was always the "chubby girl" even though she wasn't by HS!</p>
<p>Given the OP wants to make some changes, look at what is offered in the counseling center. Many colleges have support groups that allow people to learn and practice social skills. I'd say go at the start of school. It might be more natural to "wait and see" how things work out, but if you know there are some things you'd like to change then why not start right away? And the first semester of college is when the new frosh are most open to meeting new people, so you'll be taking action to make the most of that time.</p>
<p>""""""As for myself, I don't want to completely change my personality. In fact, for anyone to change their personality altogether is not good because everyone will be able to see right through you and you'll look fake. I'll just be the better version of myself."""""</p>
<p>you have a list which starts from California and ends somewhere near Afghanistan.</p>
<p>Is this serious?
Its gonna be hard. XP Its not like high school where people have cool kids and losers anyway, just enjoy yourself in college. You might not like this new person you might turn out to be.</p>
<p>I think trying to craft social skills will come off looking desperate and fake. People can pick up on if you are trying to act cool. The best thing to do is drop the act, and just be a kind and confident person. I said kind and confident because a lot of times people think being confident means acting over-the-top self-assured and talking a lot about themselves. What I mean by confident is to not second guess yourself or worry about your "demeanor". Straight-forward people who are interested in what others have to say and have a smile on their face get a lot further than people with a bag of tricks. Just be authentic. The people in the movies and music videos already have that down. You are the only you that will ever be, so its ridiculous wasting your time trying to act like someone else! If you realize that you are unique and irreplacable and have something to bring to the table, then all the little tricks don't really make a difference. Just be yourself and put yourself out there and people will appreciate you for being real.</p>
<p>listen to yourself on the answering machine. youd' be surprised on how you actually sound to other people b/c it is a fact that what you hear is not how you sound.</p>
<p>If being an introvert is a problem, one of the best things you can do is probably just to practice by starting up a conversation with anyone you see. For instance, if you're going to the gym, say "hey" to random people there that you've never seen before. Ask them a few questions, comment on this or that, etc. It'll give you some practice in social situations. Worst case scenario is they will ignore you, and who cares? You'll probably never see them again anyways. On the plus side, you might make a new friend.</p>
<p>Reminds me of an old game a few of my friends did years ago. We were at a party, and we dared each other to see how many times we could strike out with the ladies when asking them to dance. The goal was to see who could bomb out the most, as stupid as that sounds. Surprisingly (to me) 3/4 girls that I asked were up for dancing with me, and I think the other one might have just been too shy due to the way she acted.</p>
<p>Don't laugh but I heard that if you meet someone new at school and you are at a loss for words, it is almost always fine to say "I like your shirt." I mean, they wouldn't be wearing the shirt if they didn't like it, so if you like it too, you have something in common. And it might turn into an easy conversation starter - they could tell you something about the shirt (where they got it, how long they've had it, what it means). Just a thought.</p>