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I know there is no pressure to play at a DIII. I played and was a pitcher. I think she would be more embarassed then anything. I keep telling her that I know the old pitcher is in her and just needs to come out - she says she is tired of working to find it. I understand but also don't want her to regret hanging up her cleats. Playing in college can be an awesome experience. I am also slightly perturbed at the amount of money I spent on pitching coaches and trainers in the off season
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<p>Mom-It seems to me that your daughter doesn't want to play anymore in high school -or college. This is your dream - you loved it, so you believe, no, you KNOW she will, too. You need to let go of your dream of seeing her pitch, as you did, in college. </p>
<p>It's time for your daughter to find her own dreams. Go to her now and tell her you love her and you support whatever she choses to do regarding the rest of the season and the future. She has her whole life ahead of her, and it's her life to live, mom, not yours.</p>
<p>Daviban, didn't a doctor fear your D might have a tumor in her foot? Such a news would have a profound impact on the performace of any athlete.</p>
<p>Fwiw, I believe you give very little credit to college coaches in dealing with special circumstances. Your daughter would not be the first athlete who suffers a devastating injury and has a hard time getting back in the saddle. </p>
<p>Call the college coaches and be honest. After all, aren't they Div III coaches? What is the worst that can happen to your D? Having to walk the same road from the locker room to the field with the remaining "recruited" but non-scholarship athletes? ALL of them are playing at the discretion of the coach, but NONE of them has to show up. That is the beauty of Division III. </p>
<p>Try to maintain a correct perspective about high school and college athletics, especially softball. A couple of years ago, the program at our local state school was almost begging students to accept Division I scholarships when they started their softball program. Everything is relative.</p>
<p>Your anger is bleeding through your posts. If it's affecting the response of CC posters--imagine what it is doing to your D. Let her stay with the team--on her terms--but you back away from any softball talk, practice or games. Take a vacation from her sport, dude. You are WAY over-involved.</p>
<p>For one thing, you shouldn't post intimate stuff about her therapy and her OCD when she can be identified by her sport, her injuries and her college choices. Don't do that--or do it in PMs. You also shouldn't post about her coaches if she is going to play on another team. Colleges track this site. Knock knock.</p>
<p>why not let her make the decision and live with the consequences? You've given her your input, now sit back and let her decide and respect her decision. At least that is my 2c</p>
<p>How much of you is hurt by this situation and how are you dealing with it?</p>
<p>Sports are fun when you relax and have fun. Just put it very simply, play if you want to, quit if you don't, no worries. Sometimes a sport just stops being fun, for me it was first year jc hoops on scholarship. It just stopped being fun. Haven't looked back. Just started playing something else. It is very hard to come back from injury and coaching is probably looking at taking their lumps with a sophomore whom they'll have for two more years. Daughter has to understand coach is worried about coach, not her, not you, not anybody else. That also is a good wake up call for college sports.</p>
<p>College is a do over for HS for alot of people. She should look forward to being whatever she wants to be. HS sucked senior year, too bad about that, college will rock for her. Mindset, mindset... You gotta believe too mom. What ever she wants to try. LAX, Water polo, rugby, whatever... </p>
<p>You know it's how you look at things. Her first choice said no? Well screw them, they don't know WHO they're missing do they? When she makes her first million she can give money to her school and send choice #1 a thank you card at the same time. Thanks for turning me down, it inspired me to do great things FOR the school that wanted me....:) </p>
<p>Mindset mindset mindset. People can do a lot of things, but only you decide if it's worth worring about. </p>
<p>Let me get this straight? The stupid thing in your title "worried kid will do something stupid" is that she will quit the softball team?</p>
<p>You do understand that all of us thought you were referring to a suicide attempt? That's why everyone was recommending immediate professional help.</p>
<p>If it's just quitting softball, then I think you can see that your concern over her pitching performance may be just a little overheated. You had us all worried about suicide.</p>
<p>BTW, if she has the acceptance letter from the LAC in hand, you don't have to call the coach. You mail the deposit check, she goes to college. If she wants to play softball, great. If she doesn't...that's life.</p>
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Let me get this straight? The stupid thing in your title "worried kid will do something stupid" is that she will quit the softball team?
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Oh, wow. I never realized that his concern was about her quitting the softball team (I was getting a little confused, though...). Well, that's certainly something to be thankful for. I was very worried when I first saw the title of this thread.</p>
<p>I certainly thought the OP was talking about suicide. I agree with everyone else. You are WAY too invested in your daughter's sport. Why on earth would you want her to stick with this miserable situation? She's dealing with more than enough disappointment now...don't add yours to the pile. This is a time to love her for just exactly who she is right now. If you don't support her, who will? Back off on the sports!</p>
<p>It's interesting that all the posters to this point agree that your d should quit for now. I think this is the perfect time to say to her, "I trust you. You're an adult. This is your decision to make, and I'll back whatever you decide one hundred percent."</p>
<p>I know it's hard to watch a child leave behind an activity that seemed to be her passion - I've done it. It was no small thing for me to give up seeing my middle d perform at her senior dance recital (a very big deal around here), which was something I'd envisioned and anticipated for most of a decade. I'm so very glad I didn't pressure her to continue, even for an additional week. She had become miserable in her "passion" and was so much better off out of it. The emotional burden your d is carrying can evaporate, with your support. It's worth doing.</p>
<p>Regardless of whether she quits or continues to play, this kid could really benefit from a few sessions with a therapist. Dealing with disappointment and pressure can be very difficult for teens. The fact that she is sleeping a lot and says that maybe you should be worried (about whatever) are clear signs that she needs help to sort out her feelings and make good decisions. An objective therapist can help her put this all in persective. If she doesn't want to see her current therapist, perhaps there is a counselor at school with whom she would be comfortable.</p>
<p>I think your job right now is not to help her make these decisions, but rather to get her the help she needs to make her own decisions. When she is more comfortable with her own feelings, she will be more open to your input. And yes, the days of Scooby Doo bandaids were so much easier! Good luck.</p>
<p>The last few months of senior year should be a time of enjoyment, joy in learning, and transitions in relationships and priorities as a senior. NOT a time for dealing with a parent's unspoken demand that she follow in the parent's footsteps. Now is a time to trust your child. You keep saying YOU don't think quitting the team is the best decision for her. This should be HER decision and not yours. You obviously have invested all kinds of time and money to keep her playing softball (personal trainer, pitching coach, etc.) Now BACK OFF. Leave her alone to be a senior, for pity's sake. You say she "sort of" sees someone for OCD. Well, for once, she's not displaying OCD behavior. Reinforce her feelings. Tell her you feel awful for her to. Then, hug her and tell her that WHATEVER she decides is OK with you. Tell her you know that she will make the best decision for her. Then say nothing else. This will work. I promise.</p>
<p>Let her read the rejected thread here at CC so that she knows she isn't the only one. Not sure if that will help or not. I always say if life gives you lemons make lemonade. Very corny and trite, but that is what I say. If that doesn't work go on a shopping splurge.</p>
<p>Good question Groenveld, especially when one considers what is out there in terms of therapists. (finding a good one is like finding a teacher that impacts your life in a way you will never forget)</p>
<p>One of the reasons that you say she shouldn't quit the team is that the team is counting on her. Well, if the coach doesn't like her, doesn't put her in, and when she does put her in, d doesn't pitch well - guess what? The team isn't counting on her. Don't think for a moment that her teammates don't feel the tension between her and the coach. And don't think that it's not affecting their efforts as well. Maybe that's why she had no defense backing her up in the last game? </p>
<p>And if her teammates are ostracizing her now, while she's still on the team, what can they do that's worse once she's off?</p>
<p>In Div. III, there are a lot of walk-ons who don't have stats. Or she can play intramural softball or club softball or even pickup softball if she wants to. Letting go of a toxic situation for a couple of months is far from the end of her softball career, unless she wants it to be. By the time she steps on the LAC's campus, this will be a memory and she'll deal with the coach when and if she decides to.</p>
<p>I'm a softball player, and I had my share of problems with varsity coaches (try 5 coaches in 5 years on the team). I was also a catcher, so it always seemed to be my fault when the pitcher was off - she was very, very temperamental in her pitching and would get rattled very easily. I'd get blamed for the passed balls, etc, that were impossible to block because they were four feet off the plate or over my head. That just comes with the catcher turf, though - we work the hardest and don't get any recognition for what we do.</p>
<p>That's a tough situation. Maybe you should sit down with her and really dissect how she feels about things right now. Pitchers tend to take so much of the heat. Maybe she could move to outfield or another position that's not as stressful? I know she wouldn't be producing stats, but it might be better than dealing with the coach and her expectations or whatever about her pitching. You also probably need to broach the topic with the DIII coach, I'd assume, but I think if you explain the exact situation, he/she would understand.</p>
<p>FYI, I play club softball, which is fun because it's not a huge time commitment since we only practice twice a week and have about 3 doubleheaders a semester, but I really, really miss playing a full season in the spring. In retrospect, had I been interested in and recruited by a DIII school, I would have done it in a heartbeat.</p>