<p>One observation is that it is a little harder to receive rejections FIRST. It sure is easier when you have an acceptance in the bag. My MT kid got a "accepted to the college but deferred til April for the BFA" first and then a rejection second. Ouch way to start but the rest were all positive outcomes. (as an aside....she thought she got better at her auditions as time went on and maybe this was so) However, for those in the audition process (not regular college admissions), starting with a rejection or two is an opportunity to examine if there is anything they may wish to change. I know after that first decision came, my D decided to change one of her songs. She realized it wasn't the best choice or contrast with her other song. For the rest of her auditions, she never used that one again and who knows if that made a difference but she went on to positive outcomes. So, sometimes knowing of a rejection might allow you to think through if there are any changes to make or something to work on. </p>
<p>Overall, I would hope that when kids receive a rejection that they are disappointed but nothing more. I have read those who have mentioned "humiliation" or "let parents down" and while everyone owns their own feelings, I do feel sad hearing that some might feel this way. There is nothing to be humiliated over. It is not a commentary on one's worth or talent. As far as the parents, there is no letting us down...but rather we feel disappointed to see our children disappointed...it is more disappointment FOR them, nothing more. Again, for those going into a very selective college admissions process, both parents and students need to realistically be aware that rejections are going to be part of that process. Come to EXPECT it. My children surely did. It was not a surprise. At many schools you have a 95% chance of getting that rejection letter. Think of an acceptance letter as a surprise and the rejection letters as a likely outcome. Remember you only need to get into one school. A choice is terrific. Getting into a favorite is like a cherry on top. But still, it is the OVERALL outcome and one's eyes must be wide open and not set on any one particular "prize"....don't pin all one's hopes on one particular school but really explore and like MANY. There is more than one college out there where a kid can be happy. Find something good or favorable at all of the schools on your list. </p>
<p>In general, folks, you cannot shield your children from the pain and disappointment and rejection of LIFE. Hopefully, by this point in the process, you've already spoken to your kids realistically about their possibilities for acceptance and rejection at carefully selected schools (stretches, probables and safeties) so are prepared for some of each.</p>
<p>Our recent experience was slightly different and I deviated from the Don't open their mail policy for the following reason: D had just left the country for 10 days. I thought skinny envelope might be request for more info or something else that had to be acted upon; didn't think a RD acceptance would come in Feb. So I opened it and saw her first acceptance. Also thought they might have access to e-mail in a South American cyber cafe (they did) so I sent her a note. Tho she didn't get it for a week, she was VERY EXCITED to receive the great news and was thrilled that I sent it in advance of her return.</p>
<p>In general, I will not open her mail, good or bad and would not withhold mail. This is their deal.</p>
<p>Another comment I've made to my D in anticipation of rejections is that if they don't choose you, honey, out of the 20,000 other great smart kids that have applied, it's their loss. You'd be an asset to their school but they didn't recognize that. It's OK, cuz someone else will.</p>
<p>I do not say that because we are arrogant or concieted, which we're not, but because it is true. Many of these schools could fill their freshman class with great applicants, kill them all and create a second, equally fabulous class of fresman, and probably kill them all and do it again. So tell your rejected kid it's not you, sweetie, you're still great, there's just a huge element of random to this process. And look for the next envelope.</p>
<p>I'd really love to add something to this, because I feel that I finally have enough maturity to own my current outlook on acceptances and rejections.</p>
<p>I really want to go to Michigan. It's my #1 first choice dream school paradise heaven. I LOVE Michigan's program, students, and faculty. I really, really, really want to get accepted there.</p>
<p>I know that I gave a really great audition for them. I got positive responses (although not positive enough that I'm feeling sure of admission) in my singing and acting auditions. I feel great about the performances I gave.</p>
<p>If they don't accept me, I'll know it's because there were a lot of other really talented kids that they felt better fit their program than I did. I can't feel bad about myself, because I gave a great audition - and that's all you can do.</p>
<p>Not being accepted to Michigan definitely wouldn't mean that I don't have a future in MT, because I KNOW that I do. I can't imagine wanting to go into this business without a solid KNOWLEDGE that you will work, no matter what.</p>
<p>So don't think of rejections as personal - they're not. And sometimes, what seems like the end of the world, ends up being the best thing that ever happened to you. I can honestly say I'm glad that Arizona cut me from their program. Three days ago, BoCo accepted me into their program on the spot at my audition (pending my transcript review, which is why I haven't posted on the big list of acceptances yet.) Who's laughing last, right? ;)</p>
<p>Don't let ANYONE stop you from achieving your dreams. If you encounter setbacks and obstacles, just keep on taking action to get what you want out of life. As long as you are in action, you can never be stopped.</p>
<p>A slim one page letter is not ALWAYS a rejection ! My son got an acceptance letter today that would have been scary if not for the heads up phone call last week!!</p>
<p>Congratulations, Samia525, on being accepted to BoCo "on the spot," pending review of your transcript. You must be very excited. Keep us posted on what you hear from U of Michigan. It sounds as if you have every reason to be hopeful.</p>
<p>One ?: is is unusual for a student to be told "on the spot" (at their audition) that they will be accepted as long as their transcript is in shape/measures up? Is this a practice at BoCo and other schools? </p>
<p>When the envelope came from my most selective and ultimate top choice uni last year, it was bad news. I held together remarkably fine considering how much I wanted to go there. Parents were probably expecting tears or something, and were possibly feeling a bit down about it themselves (wouldn't be sure though - my dad can't even remember what course I'm on, let alone got as involved in the process as you mums and dads do). So what does trying-to-be-cheerful daughter get told? "We're more disappointed than you are!"<br>
Not a good idea :rolleyes:</p>
<p>Samia, congrats on BoCo...and join the ranks of the other kids that are in love with Michigan...Soozie's advice is well taken, however--in the long run, our kids' favorite school(s) will be the one(s) that send them them "welcome to our program" letter(s). All of our D's "thin letters" have not been surprises but certainly it is her decision as to when and where she wants to open those letters and whether she wants us present...</p>
<p>My son applied to Vanderbilt EDII. We were led to believe he'd hear by 2/15. He called the school on that date and was told letters went out on 2/13 so we waited. On the 17th- still no letter but were told to call on Monday if no letter on Sat. We had to call Mon and my son was given run around ie- needed to talk to ad rep from our area,etc. (I knew bad news at that point) Finally- they called him back with rejection news and letter arrived on Wed the 22nd. (it was dated the 14th) In this day and age, why notification can't be by email or internet access is ridiculous. Anyway-He was ok with it- he was having second thoughts anyway and was actually a little relieved that he'd have opportunity to make a choice from others. As parents- we were furious with the runaround and delay.- BTW- he's Accepted to Maryland and UCONN- waiting on NYU, Lafayette and Brown.</p>
<p>Hehe, there's a reason I tend to ignore most everything my dad says regarding uni. This was the guy after all who told me I wasn't allowed to go to drama school....oops! :D Heart is in the right place though</p>
<p>I definitely advocate students opening letters on their own. If I opened any around my parents, it was only one that I was pretty much guaranteed for. Better to be away from the pressure in case it is bad news</p>
<p>BoCo does NOT usually accept people on the spot. I spoke to the Dean of Enrollment Services about it, and she was shocked, saying that they barely ever do that. Apparently only two other kids got accepted that way this year, and they were both men at the Unifieds. It's very, very self-affirming for me! But to answer your question, no, it is not a normal practice.</p>
<p>The same thing happened to one of my students (male) last year at North East Texas Drama. He got an offer on the spot after his audition during the "call-back" session. That was quite early, in November. </p>
<p>Samia, your situation is a great example that anything can happen during this process and, may I say, how very special you are to BOCO.</p>
<p>Let me just say how wonderful this these posts have been. </p>
<p>I am very grateful to those parents and students who have shared their personal remarks here. Taking rejection is such a huge part of this business. All these views are important and helpful.</p>