<p>I was just wondering if any of the current cadets, grads, or fellow incoming plebes can help me out. I live in Minnesota and my girlfriend is going to the University of Minnesota. To aviod being emotional, I'll just say that we really like each other and that is making it hard for me to be excited about going to West Point in a week because I won't get to see her or talk to her for a while. We have seen each other everyday for a long time with only a few exceptions because of trips, vacations, and holidays. I was wondering how others with this distance problems have dealt with it, i.e. how did you stay together or did you break up, take a break etc... It's funny my right eye is corrected to 20/80 when the requirement is 20/40 and she's hoping I fail the eye exam so I can stay with her and honestly sometimes so do I.</p>
<p>Last year on R-Day a New Cadet walked out because he missed his girlfriend. Yes, on R-Day. He didn't give it a chance. I wonder whether or not he thinks about the decision and wonder what he's doing now. </p>
<p>Relationships survive the service academy experience. Many cadets have girlfriends/boyfriends at another school. Also, many will ultimately break up. You have to look deep inside yourself to see what you want more. Beast is difficult. There are many "gloomy" days. There are certainly reasons to leave West Point after you start. It's great that you're being so honest with yourself. I urge you to think long and hard about what you want to do. You have choices now. </p>
<p>MrBurgis, you have a big decision to make and it sounds like you have 2 incredible opportunities. I hope you can find a way to have them both.</p>
<p>but decide quickly for those of us on the waiting list</p>
<p>My son has a similar situation. He has been with his girlfriend for almost 3 years now. They plan to stay together when he goes to NMMI (for civil prep) and to West Point. Only time will tell if it will work out. They both have friends, other than each other, that they do things with. It is important to maintain some of your own life even when you are in a relationship. (I speak from experience: 20 years of married life.)</p>
<p>I hope this doesn't come across as harsh, but my opinion is if you are meant to be together your relationship will survive the separation. If you can't handle being separated while going to college, how are you going to handle deployments or field training after the academy? If you plan to stay together this is something that comes with being in the Army. If you don't think you can stand being separated, maybe the Army isn't for you. </p>
<p>If you do go to West Point don't quit too soon, give it a fair chance. Once you get through Beast you may find it a little easier to maintain your relationship because you will have the phone and email.</p>
<p>If you don't go, will you regret not trying?</p>
<p>If you make a life decision based on a woman, you will regret it.</p>
<p>You will regret it if you do not go. Now is the time to realize that a woman is PART of your life, it should not BE your life (not at this point in time).</p>
<p>"Ain't no use in going home: Jody's got your girl and gone.
Ain't no use in feeling blue: Jody's got your sister, too.
Ain't no use use in look'in back: Jody's got your cadillac.
sound off 12, sound off 34, bring it all down 1234 12 34</p>
<p>"Just Kidding"</p>
<p>If it's any consolation, my wife and I long distance dated between Europe and the east coast for 2 1/2 years. We've been together for over 25 years now.
You are too young to let something like this ruin your career.</p>
<p>you'll soon realize that the dating pool is a lot larger than... minn-a-sewww-dah. Experience at least a few years of yound adulthood single before getting tricked into a serious relationship. They ruin everything.</p>
<p>U.S. Service Academies>Military Academy-West Point>Dear Abby>
Good Grief.</p>
<p>Don't let women hold you back. They are only trouble. Just got rid of mine, too much of a hassle. (All that "Don't go to West Point" bull. Sorry, if you can't respect what I am doing, BYE)</p>
<p>Its up to you man. To me they are usually more trouble than they are worth.</p>
<p>Let me just ask you this bluntly. If she doesn't want you to go to West Point, how will she react if/when you get deployed? And damn man, we are too young to be tied down to one person :)</p>
<p>I don't mean to put any type of women down with this next statement, but in my opinion it takes a special type of woman (or even man) to be married to a soldier. They have to deal with TONS of stuff people in the civilian world do not. I honestly would say just give it a try, my sister has always lived with someone. First us, and then her boyfriend-fiance-husband. Last year my brother in law got sent to Korea for 3 years. The first 2-3months she was upset, like anyone would be, but she learned to live with it and they are doing perfectly fine and still together.</p>
<p>Screw those of you that say women are just trouble--you'll be saluting them as soon as you get to West Point. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt though and assume you're just being sarcastic.</p>
<p>Get used to being in a long distance relationship in the Army. I can vouch that it's HARD. My boyfriend lives over a thousand miles away from me AND is in the Army. At least your girlfriend goes to a civilian school--that makes it much easier. We have to worry about conflicting leaves, deployment, etc. Trust me, if the relationship is strong and you're willing to sacrifice, it can be kept up at the Academy. My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year now.</p>
<p>m4m, i don't think they necessarily mean women, but significant others. Since most military people are men, this means the significant other is almost always female. </p>
<p>I'm sure a guy for girls is even worse, you might scare him for being bold. ;)</p>
<p>Yeah, I think I've said it before. Just imagine being the guy at home while his wife is over in Iraq...Thats got to be very odd feeling on a number of different levels.</p>
<p>And when I say women, I don't mean as in military or social relationships, I mean in a sense of a girlfriend/fiance/whatever relationship. Sure I will get married eventually, but from past experiance dealing with girlfriends leads to trouble, namely gross deviation from academics and sports.</p>
<p>I can wait, at least till after West Point for a serious relationship.</p>
<p>This is a cautionary anecdote. My older son graduated from the Class of '01. When he was a new cadet, there was another new cadet friend from our region who had a clinging mother and girlfriend who sat behind him each Sunday at Church during Beast and slowly pressured him to leave West Point. He agonized over this decision and finally left. His mother died shortly thereafter(I believe she was an alcoholic), and his girlfriend left him for someone else. Don't know what he is doing now, but wonder if he has regrets.</p>
<p>Relationships exert a tremendous hold over all of us in our lives. Young love is particularly powerful. Try to think clearly about your whole life and what is best for yourself now and in the future. It is a great honor and opportunity to attend West Point, but it has its unique costs and obligations.</p>
<p>My younger son will be reporting this R-Day and he is involved with a lovely young woman who didn't want him to go to USMA, but now supports his decision. I am hoping my son can think with his heart, but also his head--a tall order for a young person. Good luck to all!</p>
<p>mombo,</p>
<p>A sad but important story to know. Best of luck to both of your sons!</p>
<p>Quotes from ragmanlaw: "Don't let women hold you back. They are only trouble." and "To me they are usually more trouble than they are worth."</p>
<p>I could say the same for men! ;)</p>
<p>And I liked MrGreenApple's, "before getting tricked into a serious relationship". LOL That made me so grin big. Apparently ya had a sneaky one Mr G! LOL Watch out, they're out there to get cha. </p>
<p>I feel for you guys. It will be a toughie. I'd stay away from the IM's. There's alot of ranting that goes on with those things to put you in a foul mood when you're trying to survive studying for a really huge test. Your civilian other half is not going to understand why you are so busy and can't sit around and chat any time they want. I hope if you have a girlfriend or boyfriend that they cut you some slack & try to support you instead of making your life even harder than it will be. </p>
<p>Of course if you're Marines4me, they must have a good understanding of each other I'd think. It has to be so hard being so far apart but they probably understand each other's responsibilities and what they entail. Pretty big relationship keeper when "understanding" is in there somewhere. Good luck to him Marines4me. And to you to sweetie. I hope you get to talk alot here & there.</p>
<p>I don't mean to make anyone with a girlfriend get nervous, but when I visited in April, almost every cadet, men and women, asked me if I had a girlfriend, and I didn't, so they said that was good. They told me some stories that make it sound like it will be 10 times easier to not be in a relationship while at USMA.</p>
<p>I had a girlfriend going into nmmi....I'm going to USMA.....I don't have a girlfriend.</p>
<p>Nice james2010. Cut your losses and move on:)</p>