<p>I’m sure lots of cadets leave a girlfriend/boyfriend back home when they arrive at USAFA. It sure seems like it would be hard to maintain a relationship when so little outside contact allowed (particularly that first year). Do any significant numbers of these long distance relationships survive? (just thought that some of you who have been there, seen that might have made some observations)</p>
<p>I'm sure many relationships get tested while at the Academy. I know mine will when I get there. I have been with my girlfriend for about a year so far, and we've definitely talked about this upcoming ordeal. We actually decided to go for it. We see no reason to break up just because I'm leaving for college. I look forward to see if we can make it. I'm sure some of the strongest relationships are those that last the academy. Let's just say that time spent on leave from the academy will be time spent well. :)</p>
<p>Cadets who "keep" their back-home girlfriends over their 4-years and eventually wed them are called the "2% Club". The reason is obvious...</p>
<p>...because the female cadets/midshipmen are so beautiful, intelligent, strong, and capable!</p>
<p>wstcoastmom- haha, that's what we women would like to think! ;)</p>
<p>Anyway, to timely- You can take what I have to say with a grain of salt since I've never been to school at USAFA, but I know a few people there and have heard a few things.</p>
<p>The vast majority of relationships with people back home don't last, and I don't think it's because of the distance. People at USAFA lead such different lives than civilians, it's often hard for significant others to really understand, and most don't want to or try. USAFA is a lifestyle and a calling. You'll be talking about it all the time, and when you're talking about it to somebody who doesn't have any idea in the world what you're saying or what you're going through, it just creates strain. Sometimes I think that the best way to survive USAFA is to stick with and lament to like-minded people who understand all the hardship.</p>
<p>It also creates tention in a relationship when one partner is off having fun and being free and reaping the benefits of the traditional college lifestyle while the other is stuck in a training exercize in Jack's Valley. </p>
<p>It's actually a really bad "joke" cadets seem to have there about most HS relationships ending sometime between part-way through Basic and November. I know they're a pretty cynical lot, but I guess they wouldn't be bitter about that if it didn't happen.</p>
<p>I guess what I'm saying is that certainly it can work, but you shouldn't be overly idealistic or steadfastly convinced that <em>yours</em> is necessarily going to be the relationship that works out. You just need to realize that USAFA has the potential to be what breaks you up, and while you probably hate the fact, you should prepare yourself for it just in case. But like FalconFlyer22 said, I'm sure the very strongest relationships do last, but you have to remember that those sorts of relationships are very rare indeed.</p>
<p>Related to the subject... Most cadets will tell you that when they come home for Christmas and see their old HS friends again, the change can be pretty shocking. They (the cadets) often feel like they've grown, experienced new things, have different interests, while they sense that their friends haven't changed at all. High school friends are good, but most cadets will tell you that after a year or more at USAFA (or USMA, USNA, USCGA, USMMA) their best friends are at their school and in the military. Romantic relationships can last, but it's difficult and requires a lot of communication and understanding. I personally know several that have been very successful.</p>
<p>Who do the male cadets date? I mean, according to Princeton Review, the school is only 17% women. </p>
<p>I go to a women's college, and we have our answer to that problem, but I'm guessing the cadets don't do it the way we do.</p>
<p>Well, quite a few of cadets date each other, and the rest date girls from back home, girls they're set up with, girls from the local area and other local schools... I'm sure there are also a lot of people there who don't date anybody. :)</p>
<p>Denver is only 45 minutes up the road and it's less than 2 hours to CU, CSU, Northern Colorado, etc. CU-Colo Springs is a growing school downtown, too, and Colorado College has been around for over a century. The Colo Springs metro area is approaching 1M, so there's a reasonable population of "date-able" people in the cadet age group.</p>
<p>So I guess nobody is interested in moonlitdorian's answer to the problem?</p>
<p>There are two ways to interpret moonlitdorian's hint: One is a violation of the UCMJ (and appeals to less than 10% of the general population); and the other lacks, shall we say, the interpersonal interaction that many desire. We won't go into any more details here or the aministrator will have to edit. ;-)</p>
<p>PS - I think I answered who they date. I married a local girl who attended UNC. 24th ann. upcoming in May.</p>
<p>Does anyone know what kind of contact there will be there? I hear that they allowed cell phones now and obviously there is emailing, but what kind of time is there to do that sort of stuff?? I'm sorry to dig this one up but my girlfriend is having a really hard time with the idea of me going for so long and not having any contact... understandible but still something to deal with.</p>
<p>Are there known "ways to deal with it" or any other kind of hints/ideas that anyone has to help out on this problem?</p>
<p>IM and e-Mail are popular ways to stay in touch, as well as cell phones, but I would say that using those too much is a quick ticket out of USAFA. Since the advent of these new modes of communication--plus the internet in general--MANY cadets have had "priority issues" and flunked out, or come close to doing so. Be VERY careful how much time you spend in touch with old friends and family...</p>
<p>When our son was at Summer Seminar, they told them that freshmen aren't allowed to have IM software on their computers. Also, the older cadets told them that cell phones aren't allowed for freshmen, but everyone has them. They just keep them hidden. I don't know how much of that is true, but that's what he was told.</p>
<p>My son is a C4C at the academy-they have IM and they are allowed cell phones and there are strict rules regarding when and where they can be used. Many cell phones do not work in the dorms so contact is often sporadic--they also use Skype which is similar to IM but you can talk. Having said that, I agree with what Docframe said --they have very little time, especially during the first semester. It appears thatmany of the freshman cadets that have girlfiriends back home have a very hard time making the adjustment.</p>
<p>It's a lot more than 10% here.</p>
<p>What is a lot more than 10%?</p>
<p>a while a ago:
Me: Who do the male cadets date? I mean, according to Princeton Review, the school is only 17% women.</p>
<p>I go to a women's college, and we have our answer to that problem, but I'm guessing the cadets don't do it the way we do.</p>
<p>docfrance: There are two ways to interpret moonlitdorian's hint: One is a violation of the UCMJ (and appeals to less than 10% of the general population)</p>
<p>It certainly seems like there are 'priority issues' due to the internet, IM and cell phones. I'm sure one of the hardest things about the academies was always the isolation from friends and families. But unlike other college students, I'm sure that 'isolation' has played a significant role in academy students exceling in a difficult course load, forging a bond and being a part of the whole experience. It isn't like other colleges where students walk around campus with cell phones glued to their ears talking with HS girlfriends or moms/dads for the 10th time in a day.</p>
<p>I'm not advocating the rigid isolation as I'm sure its really difficult--cell phones, IM, these are all good things. But they do distract students from studies, bonding with others etc; for example, my HS has a few students who've gone to West Point and it seems like every week its 'so and so IM'ed me and we talked for 1 hr'.</p>
<p>In my opinion, the HS girlfriends, friends, parents etc. need to play a part--just because you see your cadet, mid etc online doesn't mean you have to IM every time--let them initiate if they really have time.</p>
<p>A lot of cadets' grades and priorities here suffer their first semester, partially because of how rigorous things here are and having to get used the the atmosphere. Another reason, however, is that people back home (usually parents and/or significant others) don't know where to draw the line with contact and end up taking up a lot of the cadets' time by "checking on them" as opposed to letting them do what they need to do here. I'm not implying that cadets should cut all ties with people back home, but if the cadet is to remain a cadet, they can't be bothered every single day for hours at a time by well meaning people who really have no clue of what's going on here.</p>