Remember

<p>Well; these boards make for some very interesting reading, and we all, including myself, want the best for our kids and would do anything to help them and so on. However, as Christmas approaches I hope we can remember just a little whether our kid gets into Harvard, Yale, Stanford or ________________ (fill in any college USA) it may just not be that big of a deal. In fact, it might even be good that some high flying kids get knocked down a peg to see how they deal with the adversity. There are plenty of fine young men and women currently in harms way that will never have much of a chance at the elites or maybe any college for that matter. So let's all calm down a bit; thank God for the good fortune that has come into our lives and pray we will be able to face any trials that may come our way in the future. And, If you kid comes running to you crying about not getting into their dream school, just tell them now they have a chance to show what they are made of.</p>

<p>As the mother of a son who has taken his EA beating from Yale in the past week, I thoroughly agree about the opportunity to show what he is made of. The first thing my son said, after the initial shock was over, was, "Someday I am going to do something great and do a guest speech at Yale!" And I believe him. ~berurah</p>

<p>No Berurah, he'll probably save his time, energy and talent for the wonderful schools that will make room for him. I don't like the notion of knocking kids down a peg. I do like the idea of encouraging them to have some belief in fate and the thought that life's rwists and turns often yield delightful surprises. I also hate the fact that ED decisions are right before the holidays. We know too many families who let this knock the spirit out of them.</p>

<p>kirmum said:

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No Berurah, he'll probably save his time, energy and talent for the wonderful schools that will make room for him. I don't like the notion of knocking kids down a peg. I do like the idea of encouraging them to have some belief in fate and the thought that life's rwists and turns often yield delightful surprises. I also hate the fact that ED decisions are right before the holidays. We know too many families who let this knock the spirit out of them.

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<p>kirmum, you are not only smart, you're a kind and good person as well. This board needs more people like you.</p>

<p>My son didn't need to get "knocked down a peg." He was hurt but is persevering in both his applications to his deferred schools and his RD schools. I think it's unkind to wish such a Christmas "gift" on anyone's child.</p>

<p>kirmum and ctymomteacher~</p>

<p>You are both, of course, completely correct! I think it has been obvious by my posts that I could never concur that smart, driven and talented kids who have the courage to apply to these highly selective schools benefit from being taken down a peg or two. Why these kids? They are the ones who have given all academically and in so many other ways. What I was trying to say was that I was sooooooooooo proud of my son for rebounding as he has and for looking to find a productive way to channel the hurt.</p>

<p>kirmum, I so appreciate what you said about my son. I, too, think that eventually he will let Yale and our soul-sapping EA experience slide into the past, and the bitterness will mellow.</p>

<p>I myself have difficulty with the concept of fate and of things being somehow planned or preordained. However, I am a firm believer that one can use whatever happens in either a positive or negative way. I know my son well enough to know that this whole experience will eventually only prove to be a small bump in a long road. He has always been able to rise to the top, and I have no doubt that he will continue to be able to do so.</p>

<p>Incidentally, my son wrote to his regional adcom to see if he could possibly get any feedback on what contributed to his rejection. His letter was respectful and kind. He did hear back from the adcom who used a great deal of rhetoric to say absolutely nothing---except basically that my son would fail to get into any "highly selective" east coast school. It was an incredibly pretentious and condescending note, particularly the part about how Yale doesn't give "polite deferrals", and that is why he did not receive a deferral. <em>sigh</em> ~berurah</p>

<p>Didn't mean for the "knock down a peg" to be taken so harshly. But, really the bottom line is: With the tragedy in Iraq yesterday I just don't give a ________ who got into Yale or _____________. I need to take a break from these boards and get back in touch with reality.</p>

<p>All realities are relative and subjective. I DO give a blank what happens to my son in any reality. Perhaps these boards aren't the place to get away from these boards.</p>

<p>mmboys07,</p>

<p>As you can tell from my first post, I didn't take your words in any way other than you meant them. I know you care about your children and that you didn't mean it in a harsh manner. This is a sensitive subject for many people right now, and it is hard to regain perspectve after a deferral or especially a rejection. But, I always try to look at someone's intent--an internet bulletin board is an unforgiving place. Lacking eye contact, intonation, gestures, laughs, smiles or the touch of a hand on a shoulder, this medium is an easy one for people to misconstrue. I agree with your reality-check perspective. We whose sons and daughters are NOT in Iraq (or other dangerous places) ARE lucky. That we are "only" worried about where they will attend school is, in some ways, a luxury we should not take for granted. Please know that not everyone interpreted your words so literally. Peace, ~berurah</p>

<p>I will have to hand it to mmb, as a relative newcomer here, it did seem that CC is a world unto itself. Incredibly caring parents with the time, energy and interest to make their children's education a time consuming priority. I am working on a case now where the reality is the parent's need to spend time demanding that there are real teacher's in their children's classrooms and that metal detectors are in place to protect their kids. So during this season folks, remember *the name of this thread!) how fortunate we all are to be here devating the merits of an LAC v. Universities, whether our children will be happoer in the East or West and if we're bad parents for sending our kids away to some of the best schools in the world. Happy holidays all, whatever your holiday may be. Tonight we go out with our bells on to rejoice. This year has been wonderful to so many of us and April will bring renewed vigor to those who have suffered dissapointments.</p>