<p>Not news to any of us, but for those who haven't seen it.....</p>
<p>I melt down too when reading it. I wish I could rollback the clock at least 25 years. I only applied to 2 colleges and I got into both of them.</p>
<p>Me too, coolweather. OTOH, you, I and others on the Admissions Forum have a Plan that would (predicably will, in a few years) relieve or greatly reduce the angst of surprise noted in the article above. </p>
<p>....If they would just listen to us. ;)</p>
<p>I thought this was particularly important:</p>
<p>"Dr. Ginsburg says parents can help children develop resiliency for coping with life’s ups and downs. The key, he says, is to teach them that their parents’ high expectations of them aren’t tied to grades or accomplishments. “It means teaching them, ‘I know who you are deep inside, and I always expect to see that compassion and generosity in you,’ ” says Dr. Ginsburg.</p>
<p>After achieving perfect scores on his SATs, Sam Werner of Norwalk, Conn., was devastated by rejections from Stanford and Princeton. Mr. Werner was also on the crew and golf teams, performed in his high school musical and ranked third in his class.</p>
<p>“I kept wondering what more I could have done,” he says. “I realize I didn’t found a company or discover a new insect. I feel like it’s coming to a point where you have to do something like that to get into schools like Princeton or Stanford.”</p>
<p>Today, Mr. Werner, a pre-med student at Notre Dame, says he has new perspective on being “rejected” by his top college picks. “At the time, it felt like it was the biggest deal in the world that I didn’t get into those schools,” he says. “But I love it here. Looking back on it now, this is definitely the right place for me.”'</p>
<p>This was my favorite:</p>
<p>
[quote]
“College admission is how a lot of people are defining success these days,” says Dr. Pope, founder of the group. “We want to challenge people to achieve the healthier form of success, which is about character, well-being, physical and mental health and true engagement with learning.”
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<p>I kmow. I kmow. I have said this a million times here but I will say it again. These articles focus on the hyperselectivity of a few colleges in the more than three thousand colleges in this country.</p>
<p>No student has to put him/herself into the pressure cooker described in the article. Our son had a thouroughly stress free and enjoyable sr yr just by avoiding the frenzied goings on at the top of the food chain.</p>
<p>And no, he didn't need to wade into the Podunk U pool either, applying to great colleges like Oberlin, Case and RPI.</p>
<p>I also believe that it is us parents who are the originators of the admissions stress that our children feel. I know one family whose 8th grader proudly announced that her goal was to attend P'ton. I doubt that this was her idea. BTW, she is thrilled to be heading off to Penn State in August.</p>
<p>While, it's likely that Princeton was the parents' idea, many moons ago my best friend told me in 8th grade she was going to Yale. I was more than a bit startled as at the time Yale wasn't even co-ed. She assured me it would be. And it was. She did go to Yale in the end.</p>
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<p>A friend of my claims that having to make the college choice is the student's first understanding of mortality, in that they have to make a single choice and abandon others, which then sets them on a particular course in life.</p>
<p>[it is amazing that this thread has all senior members responding so far except for 2 of us, interesting in and of itself]</p>
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<p>When my science-loving daughter was about 8, she asked my dad, "What's the best college to study science?" My dad told her, "M.I.T." (not sure why) so she decided then and there she was going to M.I.T. At the time it was kind of cute and we didn't want to be dream-killers, but over time even she realized that wanting something and being good enough to get it were two very different things! Needless to say, she didn't even apply to M.I.T.! She still loves science, though!</p>
<p>I wonder if anyone has studied the longish-term effects of the college admissions process, both on those who are accepted at one of their top choice schools and on those who are not. I, for one, can see my daughter has lost confidence in herself, not quite so sure of her abilities any more, having been turned down/waitlisted by her top choices. She is still studying like a fiend for her AP exams. Sadly, a thin but definite pall has been cast over the end of year activities -- biding her time until the HS hoopla ends -- instead of looking forward to the fun and celebration that would have ensued had her college outcome been more satisfying. Such is life!</p>
<p>I am sure that a great deal of "admissions stress" is environmentally induced, by media, parents and a desire to get a name-brand degree as a hedge against economic worries.</p>
<p>But I have observed that a pretty good percentage of a child's stress level is hard-wired at birth. My kids are both excellent students who got into top ten schools, but they have opposite temperaments. My easy-going son has felt no stress about the admissions process this year; he would have been happy to attend our very well-regarded state flagship had his top choice rejected him. He goes his own way, doesn't care what other people think about him and is very compassionate. Our daughter, on the other hand, literally cares only for prestige and what other people think. She stresses out about everything in a huge way. I am sorry to say that nothing that we have ever said to her or tried to teach her or done for her has changed this unshakeable attitude. </p>
<p>We raised both kids the same loving, caring way. Go figure.</p>
<p>It's not only about selective private schools. State flagship colleges are also very competitive and kids have a lot more stress now. Things were not that way a decade or two ago. At the time I applied to the UCs, students were only allowed to name at most 3 perferred campuses and student applications could be re-routed to the campus at the city of the applicant if the preferred campuses had too many applications. Now, most of the kids have to apply to at least 5 campuses but the result is very disappointing sometimes.</p>
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[quote]
But I have observed that a pretty good percentage of a child's stress level is hard-wired at birth.
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<p>Please give supporting proof. This did not happen with my kids. I only thought about selective colleges for my oldest kid when the kid showed some promise starting at 7th or 8th grade. And like yours, my kid does not care.</p>
<p>coolweather: I have no "proof" other than the observations that I have made of my own two children who were both given the same kind of love and attention. One of them is very easy-going about everything, including college admissions. The other stresses about everything, including college admissions. They both attended the same schools, had many of the same teachers, and had the same opportunities in life. And yet their stress levels are completely opposite.</p>
<p>I concur with gladmom, not only on the basis of my children, but on observations of many families. Children seem to be born with temperamental predispositions that are sometimes quite resistant to parental (or other) intervention. My older daughter has an internal locus of control and is very driven from within, completely noncompetitive and unaware and unconcerned with things like prestige or convention. My second child has an extenal loc. One word from a friend or teacher can either make or break her day, regardless of how many times she hears how that shouldn't matter. We have raised them both with loads of love and acceptance.</p>
<p>What is causing stress in my area is the new uncertainty of admissions. Sure bets are no longer sure bets. Schools which should have been safeties, aren't. Even the "get a few schools EA" didn't work for many this year. Schools they were sure they'd get into, deferred them EA, then they worried till March. Yuck!</p>
<p>Yes indeed, 1ofeach. Uncertainty and changing conditions definitely add to the anxiety.</p>
<p>we have had an anxious time around here.</p>
<p>Just out of curiosity, do you think that next year will be worse, with kids sending out even more applications than usual, hoping to increase the chance that they will get in at a place that suits them?</p>
<p>Depends on the economy. If credit contracts and inflation continues apace, the cost of multiple admissions will be more of a consideration. Credit contraction may mean that more and more don't bother applying to places that aren't realistically affordable with realistic "aid" packages.</p>
<p>I see energy costs rising and wonder how universities, especially state universities, will deal with the rising expenses. Here in the Northeast, heating bills in the summer and cooling bills in other times of the year and really spike. Food, energy and labor costs are rising while only some people have strong wage pricing power. In a way, I see the college application bubble as a response to strong credit growth, similar to the subprime bubble.</p>