<p>My daughter has a very bad roommate, her roommate disturbs my daughter's sleep on purpose by turning all the lights on in the night, mess up my daughter's bed, throw her stuff on the floor, even bring boy to have sex in the dorm. My daughter is afraid to be back to the dorm, she is planning to talk to RA. I don't know if RA will be helpful for this since she needs a immediate room change, I think we need to talk to the Director instead of RA, since my daughter doesn't want parents to be involve, I don't know how parents can contact school to help her and don't let my daughter know at the same time. This is kind of urgent, any advice will be very appreciate.</p>
<p>RA’s are typically pretty helpful. I knew of a couple of people who weren’t working out together as roommates and the RA made an arrangement for one of them to vacate the room.</p>
<p>Thanks very much! She will talk to RA today, hopefully she will get help from the RA since she almost has no place to go now.</p>
<p>I’m sorry to hear about your daughter. I can only imagine what she’s going through. I also have a Freshman at Cornell and I will call somebody at Cornell if this happened to my daughter. </p>
<p>I’m curious though, why now? It’s been almost 3 months since school started. Is there something that your daughter is not telling you? How and when it started? Does she have any close friend that she can go for the meantime?</p>
<p>it happens for a while, but just getting worse and worse. My D tried to comprise from.beginning and thought her roommate wouold.be a good person, but now her normal life got impacted terribly. I can not image how an ivy student likes this.</p>
<p>it happens for a while, but just getting worse and worse. My D tried to comprise from.beginning and thought her roommate wouold.be a good person, but now her normal life got impacted terribly. I can not image how an ivy student likes this.</p>
<p>I would call the housing director. The nice lady I used to deal with retired last year. She would have been very helpful. I am sure they will take care of it. If your daughter doesn’t want you to contact the school, have her go to the housing office. I have called them numerous times and never had any issue.</p>
<p>I know you also posted this on the Parent Forum. I don’t know your daughter, but it was my kid, she would have talked to the roommate. If the roommate didn’t change her ways, my kid would have made the roommate’s life very difficult because two could play the game. As an example, if the roommate likes to turn on lights at night when your daughter is sleeping, your daughter can make a lot of noise in the morning when the roommate is sleeping. If the roommate likes to have sex in the room, your daughter can walk in on them and refuse to leave. I am sure it would be very awkward for them. You said your daughter is afraid to go back to the room. Why? Would the roommate be physical, i.e. hit your daughter? If so, she could call the campus security or report it to the Ithaca police. The bottom line, your daughter has the right to enjoy the room you have paid for.</p>
<p>Ivy students are no different than other students. They can be immature and inconsiderate. Your daughter needs to stand up for herself.</p>
<p>My experience was that my son’s roommate clearly disliked the fact that the HAD a roommate and was obnoxious and unamenable to normal roommate compromises. I believe he intended to have a single by being so impossible the roommate needed to move out.
The situation escalated, I was afraid of a physical confrontation, and Cornell was very helpful with an immediate room change to a single in a different dorm in the same quad.</p>
<p>@2018dad when you ask “why now, 3 months into the school year”: roommate troubles don’t always happen right away. In my D’s case when she was a frosh, everything was hunky dory for two months and then the troubles started with her roommate. First few weeks, everyone is trying to get along and are accommodating to each other. Followed “good roommate rules” etc. Then when they start feeling more comfortable in their new college environment, true colors start to show. It was a learning experience for sure and my D did go to her RA and they all managed to work things out. It’s just all part of growing up. </p>
<p>The housing office can only help with the room change, they direct everything else to your RHD or RA. Having a roommate was unfortunately one of my worst experiences at Cornell and if your daughter doesn’t get a room change soon (they are not automatic.), have her talk with her roommate. The tension between my roommate and I was significantly less after having a conversation. And we remained (somewhat) mindful of each other till he eventually left. Have her talk to her RA, if she can’t work it out with her roommate still. The RAs are super helpful in dealing with these types of situations and can help cool off the steam, till she finds a place to move to.</p>