Requesting Roommates: Successes and Failures?

Student Lounge College Life
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<p>Does anyone else worry that they will be the “wierdo” roommate? I not terribly social and generally I pretty content by myself. I am tidy and clean but I don’t share and I like things a certain way (but I am working on becoming more flexible. </p>

<p>I have met my roommate and she seems really nice and we have friends in common even though we’ve never been friends before. I just worry that she’ll have expectations of me that I won’t live up to. I just pray that she won’t try and become my best friend because I’m just not into that. Honestly if I could describe myself it would be introverted and dorky, which is not what most people want in a roommate.</p>

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<p>I chose mine and while I can’t say how it’ll work out (class of 2014) I hope it’s good. The school I’m going to doesn’t offer roommate surveys</p>

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<p>My son had a mixed bag with roommate selection. The freshman roommate, chosen by the school, worked out really well. I attribute this to the fact that my son was truthful on the survey and emphasized things that were especially important to him. Living with self-selected roommates in the same major also worked out great and they are still friends. The current roommate was found via an online roommate matching site for off-campus housing offered by the school - they talked and emailed and it worked out great. The only really bad experience was a roommate that was found through a mutual acquaintance. Horrible. I think that kid just really needed housing and totally misrepresented himself, saying anything my son wanted to hear just to get an apartment. That year was a nightmare. I don’t know how this could be avoided, except possibly to assess a person’s motives. Freshmen on facebook really have no reason to lie, but they may not see themselves as others do.</p>

<p>My daughter is now debating whether to room with some one she met on fb that seems to be compatable, or to go with the school system. I think she plans to meet this girl and probably room together (fwiw).</p>

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<p>For those of you who want to choose a roommate via FB or USurf, remember that just because you have “common interests” doesn’t mean you’ll get along as roommates. It’s more important to find someone who keeps similar hours, has similar housekeeping standards, and similar standards of acceptable behavior (ie stumbling in drunk, bringing over boyfriends/girlfriends, etc). Just because you’re both majoring in the same thing or you both play the same sport doesn’t mean you’ll have any of these other factors in common, and those are the factors that make rooming situations work (or not).</p>

<p>From reading this thread you can see that the jury is still very much OUT on whether or not finding your own roommate on FB is a good thing. No wonder you guys are confused about the best way to go! I can understand the fear of students who think that “everyone” else is finding roommates on FB, and they’ll be left with the people no one else wanted if they let the college pair them up - but I don’t think that’s actually true. Many kids will consciously make the choice to let the college chose for them, so don’t feel like you have to find your own roommate if you’re not comfortable with that.</p>

<p>One problem with finding a roommate on FB or from home is the expectation level. You think that because you picked this person it should be good - and the good things about the roommate get taken for granted, but when there’s a problem, it feels very wrong. Whereas if you get paired up by the college you have no idea what to expect, and you are probably more open to balancing this person’s good and bad traits. </p>

<p>Also, remember the Brad Paisley song “I’m So Much Cooler Online.” People can represent themselves very differently online than they are in real life!</p>

<p>The college paired me with my roommate. We had SO much in common it was almost a problem - we did all the same activities, so we couldn’t get away from each other! But we worked it out and lived together happily for 3 years. My husband roomed with a casual friend from his high school, they also got along well. </p>

<p>My son was paired with his roommate by the college. They had ZERO in common (except their major), but they co-existed peacefully for a year and remain friendly, if not really friends.</p>

<p>My daughter (current hs senior) was going to let the college pick for her, but she met a bunch of kids from our area via FB and they went out to dinner as a group. She and one girl had been talking online, and when the group got together these two just “clicked.” They had the same reactions to what other kids were saying, etc. They are both outgoing, but neither of them are big partiers and both attend church regularly, and both will have long-distance boyfriends. They decided to room together, and I’m optimistic that it will work out. They are getting together again in a week or two, I told my daughter I’m glad they’re doing that because if either of them gets a feeling that this might not work, they still have time to bail out!</p>

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<p>Personally, I think it doesn’t matter what you do, it’s going to be pretty random no matter what. My school has no roommate survey, and so it truly is completely random. And when I first looked my roommate on FB, I was horrified. As far as I could tell the only thing we had in common was both liking Moulin Rouge, which really isn’t much. I’m kind of nerdy, and she seemed to be the stereotypical partier. But I was completely wrong; we get along wonderfully. I don’t really do anything with her, but we’ll talk quite a bit in the room and never fight. She can occasionally be annoying, but so can I; told her I was going to clean up 2 weeks ago and still haven’t. She’s crazy (in a good way), but really nice, and we ended up having very similar political views, so we talk about that. And she’s so noticeable, I just mention I’m her roommate and anyone in the dorm reacts. It’s been a wonderful experience, and I’m really going to miss her next year. Random can work fine, and don’t judge people based on how they seem, because that’s likely not how they are.</p>

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<p>I can’t even remember if I completed a survey, but my freshman year roommate was selected by my school. It worked out incredibly well, and I ended up rooming with him sophomore year as well. During junior year he was my RA and put me in the room across from his (since our RA’s could select who lived in their wing of the dorm). He moved off-campus senior year, along with some of his engineering friends, and I had to scurry to find a roommate (since one of his engineering friends was my roommate junior year). I had no choice but to room with a guy I was only relatively familiar with who had lived on my same wing for a few years. His roommate of three years became an RA so he was in a bit of a desperate situation as well. I had low expectations going in, but ended up developing a great friendship with the guy. I thought we had nothing in common and that our living arrangement was going to be rough. Thankfully, I was completely wrong.</p>

<p>You really never know :)</p>

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<p>My school lets us choose our specific spaces, so people either select the same room as somebody they know or just pick a space, possibly looking up the people who already are in the room on facebook to see if they have anything in common. One of my roommates I found on my school’s fb group before hand, the 2nd contacted me on fb later, and my 3rd roommate met the 2nd roommate the first semester and moved in 2nd semester. Overall, we are good roommates, but we don’t have a lot in common. No matter what you end up doing for a roommate, do your best to learn to live with them and hopefully they will do the same. If things don’t work out, it is often possible to switch rooms later on.</p>

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<p>I just met my potential future roommate from uroomsurf, then we got our facebook accounts then we just began talking on skype yesterday (first time); I felt like she’s going to be a great roommate! We talked like we’re long lost friends! But again, people keep on saying “expect the unexpected” from your roommates, the person online might not be the same in person, so I’m crossing my fingers that we actually get along in person as well as online!!!</p>

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<p>Personally I would go random. There’s just as much of a failure rate if you meet someone over facebook (because you don’t know what they’re like in person which could be completely different).</p>

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<p>my daughter wants a single…she is social but would prefer her own room. They room kids in the same major in the same dorm so she would meet a lot of kids on her floor in her major.
Should we let her or will that prevent her from making friends? Will she be lonely?
She is not anti social and has plenty of friends…she would just perfer a single…not sure what to do?
help please from students and parents!</p>

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<p>If she makes an effort to be social and get to know people, I don’t think it would be a problem. And if she has a single, she has a refuge when she wants to be by herself.</p>

<p>If she knows a single is right for her, then I see the situation as a win-win situation, honestly.</p>

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<p>You sound just like me, except I stopped giving a flying rat’s ass what people think of me. I have a VERY close circle of friends, I keep my space in a reasonable state of organized chaos, I HATE sharing (I tend to be extremely protective of my possessions), and I’m a self-proclaimed control freak. And everything that’s not in the exact state of organized chaos that I like annoys me. And it annoys me when people touch my stuff without asking me first.</p>

<p>I wonder sometimes if I’m autistic.</p>

<p>People like us are not meant to have roommates. Get a single ASAP.</p>

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<p>I am going to live with 3 random people next year in an aparment (craigslist!), 2 girls and 2 guys total. I’ve talked to one girl enough and met up once and she seems really nice. The other two I have not yet talked with or met with but i’m hoping for the best. I live 100 miles away so… the best I could do :p</p>

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<p>^^At a summer program (with matched, not random roommates), I ended up with a roommate who was neater than me; I’m the same sort of organized-chaos control freak. Our room was by far the cleanest of anyone’s and we got along really well. So it is possible!</p>

<p>I’ll be having a roommate for sure, but I’m not too worried. As long as my roommate respects my stuff, the other half of the room can be whatever she wants.</p>

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<p>^I had roommates all through college. Never again.</p>

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<p>As I’ve told you before, the fact that you don’t know how to deal with people doesn’t mean nobody else can. The fact that you believe your lack of knowledge is a virtue is just mindboggling.</p>

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<p>As I’ve said before, strongly prefers to live alone=/=antisocial. Nor does preferrence to have roommates equal being sociable.</p>

<p>Let me know when you choose to live with a roommate when you can live alone for the same amount of money. The overwhelming preferrence here is living alone.</p>

<p>And again, if you think I remotely care what you think about me, you’re sorely mistaken.</p>

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<p>futurenystudent -</p>

<p>We are pretty similar, lol. I don’t care what other people think of me (learned that a long time ago) but I would feel bad that I would not be type of roommate my roommate expected. </p>

<p>I wonder too if I am autistic, I would say I am if it weren’t for my uncanny ability to read other peoples emotions. Honestly my favorite setting to be around people in is a professional one, no obligations to be friends but just to be polite. haha</p>

<p>Eh, I know I’ll surve/get used to whatever living arrangements I end up in but I do hope my roommate doesn’t hope for more than just a “roommate” relationship.</p>

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<p>Me too. It’s not personal, but some people just don’t get it. Watch the TV series “Bones”-Dr. Brennan is the extreme end of our type. Detached, objective, literal, hyperrational.</p>

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<p>I’ve always said that the title that describes me is “a Realist” I’m not an optimist but I’m not a pessimist, I’ll tell you like I see it. I don’t get excited or emotional easily which is a bit of a put off to a lot of people, people don’t seem to like that quality much in a friend.</p>

<p>Though this attitude towards life does make me pretty objective, my mom says I should go into Law.</p>