<p>tango14, our first conversation with our S was one of those "roommate in the room" things--kind of monosyllabic on his end. It was okay, but not satisfying, because he's definitely not a monosyllabic person. We're making progress, though. Today he e-mailed with some great news about something he's doing--he sounded like the same guy again. And he sort of keeps his Twitter updated. (He moved in on 8/19.)</p>
<p>I am trying very hard to remember that for him, the transition is much bigger than it is for us (though he is our only child, and so we have a suddenly empty nest). After hearing from him today, I'm thinking that once he gets comfortable with all the new-ness, we'll hear from him more.</p>
<p>It's sort of similiar to Instant Messaging only for short messages I think.</p>
<p>I wrote earlier in the thread that I had an unsatisfying phone conversation of the monosyllabic variety with S2 that left me with a blah feeling. S2 arrived here for the weekend late yesterday and I was happy to see he was his usual non-blah self. He assured me that all was fine, no homesickness (he came home for a football game), classes were OK,dorm room is good. All is well. In the future, I'll remind myself to not read too much into monotone,one word phone conversations!</p>
<p>My 3 kids are all very good about calling (frequent and substantial and apparently unusual for boys ;)) and I will say 75% of the calls are while they are either walking to/from class or waiting for a shuttle or to meet up with friends. We also get the ones from sporting events where we can't hear a thing, but can feel their excitement. My advice is don't walk on eggshells and don't conduct every call like an interrogation. These are still your kids, let communication evolve naturally. Chat about sports, politics, music, your pets, not just college stuff. We have found that the best calls are always the ones they initiate, so if I want to talk to them I usually text or email "Give us a call when you get a chance." In some respects I feel like I've gotten to know my kids better as college students than I did when they were in HS and hectic schedules often had us communicating on the run.</p>
<p>Packmom, Geezermom,
Thanks for the suggestions. Still waiting for the call I hope will come over this long weekend. I know the call that comes on its own will be more satisfying, and I discovered long ago that a call with this S takes time if you want him to open up. An "interrogation" only yields yes/no answers, but patience usually produces some really insightful thoughts. I've been trying to stop H from calling. If he does get through, it is likely that S will not be free to talk much, but will feel that we have communicated so he doesn't need to make another call. Sigh!</p>
<p>I'm working hard to scale back the interrogation. So far she's doing really great. Has handled some logistical things all on her own. I am just so used to knowing all the minute details (we've always been close and she is chatty.) It's a really good suggestion that I make sure I keep up my end of the conversation with things about me, our home, even the election, and not just what's going on with her at school.</p>
<p>Yippee! Finally got the call yesterday. His roommate had gone to buy books. Got a lot of news. I regret that my impatience for news didn't allow me to really wait for news to come out at his pace. I'll get better, I hope.</p>