<p>I just dropped my freshman at school on Saturday and of course, I am dying to know how she is doing. My instinct tells me not to call or text, and to wait until I hear from her. </p>
<p>To all of you parents out there who have been through this before, how long did you wait before contacting your child? Of course, "no news is good news", right?</p>
<p>Right. But it's Monday. You can call :)</p>
<p>I would text & ask how the day went.</p>
<p>my son said ok to text--doesn't interrupt -- I would text also...leave the call to her</p>
<p>I text a short "how's it going" or"thinking of you and hope all is well" and say call when you want. She usually calls a little while later when she has a quite time or break. . I tried to make sure several days had passed last year. This year it seems we have been in communication almost every day for something or another. Even if briefly.</p>
<p>Son, now in his junior year of college, flew out this morning and sent the text during boarding, "the package is away". Arrived at destination airport, "package is on the ground," upon school arrival "package is delivered."</p>
<p>Went to his first team practice today after a summer of research and studies and the "package is now broken and is in many, many little tiny pieces."</p>
<p>My kiddos (5) know the score, if he hadn't kept the "Mom" updated I would be the one causing the many, many little tiny pieces!</p>
<p>Kat
second to last kitten is AWAY!!!!!!!!</p>
<p>DH and I agreed not to contact our son, as he said he'd call today. We forgot to say anything to his sister and she text-messaged him last night. That was strange, as they fight constantly. What was even stranger was that he called last night "because sis text-messaged me."</p>
<p>GOLFGAL -</p>
<p>I would call - Your daughter is away at school and you are dying to know how she is doing - call her. Who makes up these "Wait for her to call first" or "Only text her" rules?? They are riduculous!! There are no rules. How do parents think that they can live their lives with their children and talk to them everyday when they are living at home and then go "Cold Turkey" when they leave for school because you are supposed to?? There are no rules and it is insane for us, as parents, to follow some "unwritten" rule that you can't call your child when he/she leaves for school! A phone call to your daughter will not "make or break" her - She is your child and you have the right to call her first to see how she is doing. I called my son many times last year during his first year at school and he never had a problem with it. If he was busy, he said so. If not, we talked. And he is a very well-adjusted student.</p>
<p>Life is too short to follow these ridiculous "rules". Call your daughter. It will make you feel better and I can guarantee you that she will love hearing from you.</p>
<p>D left yesterday AM, and our house assumption is "no news is good news" as well.</p>
<p>I resisted the urge to call, and sure enough, SHE called, in a timely manner, to report safe landing and arrival on campus. And then she listed the things she's realized she's forgotten!</p>
<p>I was low-key, but very clearly expressed my appreciation for the call. I tend to drift into helicopter mode, so I am working to set a precedent for the new era of her managing everything without my expert advice :)</p>
<p>I plan on burning up the airwaves with text messages next fall when my D goes away to school. Too bad for her if she wants me to wait...but she knows better anyway. ;)</p>
<p>I agree--text her if you can, if texting is out of the question then call her. A woman I work with whom also took her son to school last week, said her son told her not be afraid to call as all the kids parents were calling. </p>
<p>My son told me to IM him if I see him online. Setting up a free AIM account is a good option as then you can buddy list each other and talk that way. My son and I have done that 2x in the last week and it is helping to keep me sane. Kids these days just don't like to talk on the phone--they would rather type (text, IM)--so I figure we might as well join them and keep ourselves happy!! </p>
<p>BTW--I do not IM him everytime I see him online but every 3-4 days is good for me right now, and he seems ok with them--so far. LOL </p>
<p>But by all means--it is your right to contact your daughter--she will probably be happy to hear your voice. They need to know we do miss them.</p>
<p>Whenever I catch my son online, it feels like I found the golden egg on easter.
IM is a wonderful thing.</p>
<p>After we dropped him off last Tuesday, we exchanged a couple of logistical e-mails. Today, after trying to follow the let-him-call-us-first "rule" (who invented that one, anyway?), we decided it was ridiculous and called to ask how his first day of classes was. We had a nice chat, and I think we've gotten beyond the fear of bugging him.</p>
<p>He uses Twitter. I used to think it was silly, but now I eagerly await the updates.</p>
<p>I am not a helicopter parent, I barely know the courses they take or what their schedule is. I'm even guilty of forgetting to ask what grade they got for a semester. Don't know the name of any professer they have had. Having said that, I told both S and D I needed to hear from them the first week and it had to be a phone call. Son who is now a senior only IM's about once a week or ten days and that started about one month into freshman year. I'm fine with that because I had a sense of his life at college and that he made friends. My daughter is a sophmore and has many many friends but calls way too much, she tells me every detail of her life. Go ahead and call and don't be afraid to tell her you need to hear her voice daily for the first couple of weeks. Assure her you will taper off after you know what her college life is like, it will be easier by then to speak to her less. I agree, as a previous poster said, who makes those rules.</p>
<p>Text her.</p>
<p>My mom will text me, but hasn't yet (it's only been a few days, xD) called me out of the blue.</p>
<p>She does, however, consider me "fair game" if I'm on IM.</p>
<p>I have only IM'd with kids when they have seen me online. Otherwise, I just call if I NEED to speak with them and text if I'd LIKE to speak with them. Youngest has been called almost daily since drop off, but mostly short conversations/questions. Both kids usually call back sooner or later. They know if I leave a voice mail that I am serious and they better listen to it asap and get back to me with an answer. Make your own rules. Call them as much as you want. Teach them about how to be better people by picking up the darn phone and making mom feel happy and loved.</p>
<p>In total agreement, BESSIE! That is my philosophy.</p>
<p>Calling your child because you want to hear how he/she is doing is not making a call "out of the blue" - it is a natural part of a relationship between a parent and a child, especially in this college situation.</p>
<p>Texting can come later...(although I will always call)...but until then, call her.</p>
<p>We don't have a texting plan for our phone service so each message is $.20 to send and $.20 to receive. We talk or e-mail. Freshman year, I called pretty often and would get upset with S because he was pretty bad about keeping in touch (didn't even call once/week). </p>
<p>Last year, I mostly made it up to him to keep in touch & was very busy (honestly because I started a new non-profit & had an amazing number of new things I was doing that I had never done before) with my life--he seemed to call more and was more interested in what I & the rest of the family was doing because we weren't prying into his life. The best was that he agreed to create a website for me & my non-profit, so he had to work with me to get the content.</p>
<p>This year, as a junior, he left on Friday & has already called to tell us he arrived & again that day to tell us he was shopping with his room mate & parents. He called again today to ask more questions & speak with his sister. He also spoke with my parents and seems much more interested in keeping in touch this year. </p>
<p>Not sure whether it's because I stopped prying & trying to get info from him or because he's more confident and independent or as hubby says, "He calls when he wants stuff." In any case, it feels better for me & for him these days. We mostly have him initiate the calling rather than us.</p>
<p>We allowed some space at first--which helped first-year student and US--and found a good fit for communication as time went on. Seems as the years march on, students become more comfortable with the important role we play as parents and the importance of communication within the family. You have to know your own child. Calling everyday may not be a good idea for one who is potentially home-sick--they need to find their own way. "Cold turkey" may well be the best plan for them. Mine know that if they don't touch base with me, I'll be on the horn with them. So, if timing, etc. is an issue they'd better initiate contact. We have an understanding that if something prevents us from taking the other's call, we'll get back to the one who tried to initiate contact as soon as possible--texting sometimes is the better way, but there's nothing like hearing that voice! Fortunately, they seem to get over the high-school mindset of friends teasing them, saying, "Oh, it's your MOM calling!!" There really is a search for independence and things managed to work themselves out for us and, I believe, for most families.</p>
<p>We had an agreement, minimum once per week for a call. emails when she could get to them. Text updates if needed. In reality she called more often most of the time. But as a freshman she did try to go a week several times. It was hard for me to wait but important for her. We were very close while she was in HS. When I traveled we talked every night. I think she wanted to test her independence, too. She told me she really appreciated that I let her take the lead, unlike some she told me about whose mothers required they call every day.</p>