<p>Has any of you ever lived with an authoritative person who is not your ma or dad,who insists on ignoring the fact that you are over 18 years old,thus an adult,and tends to blame you above others for anything that goes wrong?Have you tried resisting their stupid,misguided,and definitely stone age form of stamping their authority,only to have them act so childishly about the whole affair that you almost retch in disgust?I have been in such a situation for sometime now.What is the est course of action to take,save for grabbing the stupid homohabilis by the collar and bashing the bean brains out of him/her?</p>
<p>And this is about homeschooling how?</p>
<p>Hey susgeek,you made a partially right stab.It has a lot to do with homeschooling.What line of action do you recommend?</p>
<p>If you’re over 18, get a job and move out. There’s nothing stopping you. Plenty of people come from less than perfect upbringings and we still made out ok. Getting away from home was the first step.</p>
<p>Incidentally, while it doesn’t change the “wrongs” one grows up with, plenty of people, once they have children of their own, also realize their caretakers were a bit smarter than previously thought.</p>
<p>However, as stated before, this doesn’t change the “wrongs” that have happened. Nothing changes those. The best advice is to learn from the past, don’t dwell on it. If one wastes their future dwelling on the past they’ve created a whole 'nother wrong themselves.</p>
<p>Creekland,thanks a ton.Your advice is just so sensible.I think I will start applying it as of right now.Thanks again,your advice is priceless.</p>
<p>Alex, I have a boss like that. Have been under her thumb for 11 years, which is a lot longer than anyone else would put up with. What you are describing is a classic textbook-case control freak. You may find it helpful to learn that you are not alone. Google “control freak” – there are tons of resources out there.</p>
<p>I agree that it’s best to get away, if you possibly can. When you are young, you are vulnerable, and someone like that can really beat you down. Get away and tell the control freak to get lost!</p>
<p>You may need to rethink “over 18 years old,thus an adult.” Maturity is about more than a self-satisfying word toss. Sorry. But, many feel children are just that, until they can stand on their own two feet. Learning to deal with difficult people is a life skill. And, since you chose to post this on the “homeschool” forum, susgeek had a legit question. It may help to review your own post; see your attitude as readers will.</p>
<p><i>Learning to deal with difficult people is a life skill.</i></p>
<p>Some people are beyond difficult; they are toxic and destructive. Alex’s authoritarian guardian may well be one of these.</p>
<p>A vulnerable 18-year-old kid cannot deal with such people – they hold all the cards, all the power; and they are incredibly manipulative. </p>
<p>I get the distinct impression that Alex knows exactly what she is talking about. If you’ve ever dealt, long-term, with one of these toxic people, believe me, you know. You can recognize the signs.</p>
<p>God bless and best wishes, Alex! 
I am praying and pulling for you.</p>
<p>Thank you all who replied to my post.I think you all make sense in your own unique ways.Lookingfoward, I perfectly understand your point,and agree with you,but it absolutely does not define me at all.Its one thing to say that you are 18,but its another thing to say the same and prove yourself over and over again.I fall in this latter classification.My point from the start was how to swat away what my wise friend LadyDianeski describes as a “control freak” situation.Thank you all.Feel free to post more replies.</p>
<p>Alex, Lady finds herself working too many years for a nut. Of course, many adults find themselves in situations where we have no other options but to endure, for many reasons. Your post had an initial attitude of anger and, perhaps, retribution. If you truly find that, despite many mature responses, the problem continues, then that is more than I read in your OP. I don’t know your situation- none of your other posts reveal this. I do not know how Lady knows you have an “authoritarin guardian” who is potentially “toxic and destructive.”
At 18, we generally expect one’s freedoms and self-determination will increase radically over the next few years. Even if your famiy situation is such that you are bound to some specific role, unable to extricate yourself from some relationships, your “homeschooling” will end and you will enter the phase where you are deemed more independent. A friend of mine used to nag: when all else fails, all we have left that we truly can control is our attitude.</p>
<p>Thank you Lookingfoward.You are right,maybe my post did have the element of anger and retribution in it,but if you will allow me to explain myself ,I only posted it after trying to forgive,and forget all the wrongs my host committed against me for a myriad of months.Diane is right,the host is authoritative, and toxic,…and maybe much more.If you take time to look at it from my way,maybe you’ll realize that when I finally did decide to post,I had bottled up enough anger to blast me through space to christophsis.Maybe there’s more from where my post came from,that’s another right guess from you.Well ,you sound very wise(I’m sincere)so,any replies you make,I will take time to pore through.Thanks.</p>
<p>Original post by lookingfoward
“When all else fails,all we have left that we can truly control is our attitude”.
Very very wise,but not applicable in ALL situations.</p>
<p>Sorry you still suffer. I have a half-dozen guesses what your situation could be- why it is so oppressive, etc. Bottom line, I don’t know what you’re going through. Ordinary advice is look ahead- see the days when you are free of the control you chafe at. For some reason, this seems not to apply in your case. Or ?</p>
<p>Focusing on the better days ahead,lookingfoward, has probably been the most supportive thing I have done.Otherwise,my life would have been worse than hell(It’s hell,right now though).Still,at some point,you have to face the reality of the present,and then all the hurt and dread floods back.</p>