Review my Common App Essay?

<p>Hey everyone this is my first post on here and I was wondering if you could review my essay? I know it has a lot of work left to go, but I want some judgement based on where I am right now and what I can do to improve it. It's the first essay choice, story or background that is central to your identity. Thanks in advance!</p>

<p>Tics! Hmmm, what an interesting word. Until recently in the medical literature, the word did not even exist. I was misdiagnosed at the age of 5, and referred to an optometrist due to constantly blinking and stretching my eyes out wide. My eyes were deemed normal. A few years later I subconsciously began soft, almost musical noises in the back of my throat. Other kids started calling me the hummingbird. Looking back on that time I laugh, but back then it was devastating, socially and emotionally crippling. This particular tic has stuck with me for many years. My dad had whistled when he talked since he was 15, a vocal tic that he lived with all his life so he just assumed I had something similar. Around age 10 I began cracking my knuckles which was no big deal since many people do it. That is, until it escalated from knuckles to neck, back, shoulders, ankles, any joint I could crack really. Over the next few years came head twitching, eyebrow raising (which gave me an almost frightening appearance), and a host of other new tics. My parents raised a major concern so we consulted with a neurologist, and sure enough the diagnosis was made almost immediately: I had Tourette Syndrome.
From that first eye stretch through today, I’ve waged a continuous battle with tics, lasting a few weeks to many months. Even as I write this essay my left shoulder rotates and pops, the latest tic to emerge.
While younger the tics didn’t affect me much socially, but as I grew I became very self conscious. They were embarrassing, and set me apart from my classmates. I had my few close friends whom I had grown up with, and friends who I met through playing football, but was shy and found it difficult to put myself out there and form new relationships. Worse still for my psyche was how hard I tried to hide them, but physically couldn’t despite my best efforts. I was an introvert, doing everything in my power to avoid being the center of attention. It affected me socially and emotionally as I struggled to deal with Tourette Syndrome.
In 9th grade I met the man who would change my view on life, a neurologist named Dr. Mink. He explained to me what was causing me so much internal stress and struggles. Tourette Syndrome was a medical condition, was nothing that would severely affect my future life, and often got less severe in the late teen years. This visit changed something inside me, and I saw that TS was nothing to be ashamed of. As cliché as it sounds, I had an overhaul of my persona. I would no longer be a slave to the “embarrassment” that living with TS brought.
From then on, my life changed. I spoke to new people, tried new things, and stopped hiding in the shadows. I wasn’t afraid of oral reports. I asked questions in class. During outings with friends I laughed and joked with not a care in the world about my condition. I even managed to bring myself to help when a friend of mine told me that she needed a partner for her ballet group’s performance of the Nutcracker last year. I went on stage, just the 2 of us in front of hundreds of people. When people asked or looked at me funny when they would see my tics, I explained what it was, instead of shrinking back in embarrassment. I was no longer going to allow Tourette’s dictate my life.
Tourette’s is a condition that affects lives, but does not control them. People such as soccer star Tim Howard and tycoon Howard Hughes managed to reach immeasurable levels of success while dealing with Tourette’s. I look up to them as I strive to achieve my goal of reaching the stars in terms of success, while being able to show people that the mountain that is Tourette’s is a conquerable one.</p>

<p>whether or not you should share your essay online is one thing, but since you’ve already done it you might want to take your post over to the appropriate forum.</p>