Risky Common App Essay? Please help!!

College Essays
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<p>I read one of Tufts' example "essays that worked" by this guy from Maine in which he compared himself to a moose. It was bold, but evidently admissions offices liked it. I took a slightly different take on this idea, but I think it works? I really need opinions as I would like to submit my aps 12/30.</p>

<p>I obviously want opinions on the success of the essay as a whole, but more specific grammatical/syntactical corrections (esp. commas and semicolons as I tend to misuse them in my writing) would be greatly appreciated!!</p>

<p>PLEASE let me know if you would be willing to read some time tonight or tomorrow!</p>

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<p>Also, I have a copy of the “successful” essay if you guys are curious? Just let me know and I’ll PM it in addition to my essay</p>

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<p>I can read it tonight or tomorrow. Please include the prompt.</p>

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<p>I’ll read, and send me the tufts essay too because it sounds interesting</p>

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Now that this is all over, I wanted to put more details out there for future applicants. I compared myself to Maryland’s unique features and broke the fourth wall in my conclusion. Evidently admissions liked it - I got hand-written notes on my acceptance letters from Middlebury and McDaniel complimenting my essay. I was accepted to Middlebury, Tufts, Colby, Juniata, and McDaniel; waitlisted at Colgate; rejected from Williams and Bowdoin.

I also want to thank @jpheys again for helping - you gave me both the confidence and the criticism I needed in that last-minute crunch.

I’m beyond excited to say I will be attending Middlebury College in the fall!

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Just saw this, thanks for the update and congratulations!