First of all, how somebody texts is not who they are. It is very hard to tell about emotion/bodylanguage in text.
If you say “How is your summer going?” and they say “Great” you don’t know if that is roboty or not.
It sounds like you are an extrovert who likes to be with people and she may be an introvert. Extroverts “recharge” by being with others, Introverts “recharge” by being alone (e.g., walks by yourself).
You asked waaaay to early about Boyfriends…she doesn’t know you, she doesn’t know your BF…at this point in her life a stranger is telling her that a male stranger can sleep in her bedroom. Uhhh.no.
Also, you say that you are paying so it is “fair” that you get to have people sleep over…NO, sorry, she, and you are paying for a place to live. Nobody else is. You both have to agree on overnight guests. That you have a boyfriend 2 hours away is not her problem. Perhaps you can have him stay in some boys room at first.
Don’t think a roommate is going ot be your BFF…as long as you have a good working relationship, that is all to expect.
When you get to school, don’t talk about guests right away. Let her get used to college and you. Then maybe ask about your sister. If she asks about the BF just say “He wouldn’t stay here unless you were comfortable and we agreed to ground rules. I know you have never even met him! He will stay with Bob down the hall this time.”
Also talk about night/vs morning people…Agree on what steps you can take to make it easier on the other.
Like you will have headphones and keep your laptop aimed away from her if you watch movies at night. She will try to keep quiet in the morning and not hit the doze button 14 times.
Re Facetiming:
As always, both of you should try to work it out. Don’t discuss it via text. She is trying to set expectations, as are you. But after you meet, after awhile, You could say “I know Facetimeing is something you were concerned about. I want to find a way that we are both comfortable. Let me know when you are going out and I can do it then. or I will tell you when I plan to Facetime and you can go to the library or a friends.”
She may not want to have him have visibility in to her bedroom. I get that.
also you may want to go into the lounge of the dorm or something to get away from her.
But with everything, realize she has a legitimate view too and figure out a way that works for both of you. If you don’t know what that is, talk to your RA and say “I don’t want to make my roommate too uncomfortable, but I also want to …do you have ideas on how to approach her?”