roommate essay

Colleges and Universities A-Z Stanford University
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<p>Could anyone have a look at my roommate essay and offer constructive criticism? (I'm not happy at all with it but the 1400 character limit is blocking my creativity)</p>

<p>If you’re a vegetarian and want to quit the habit, then I strongly recommend a trip to Bangkok. I speak from personal experience.
We were in Bangkok for a day en route to Australia. We landed at 8 a.m. and departed on a sightseeing tour an hour later.
I saw my first sight right outside the hotel gates. A man with a cart was selling food to the surrounding throng. I hadn’t eaten breakfast and my stomach rumbled as I stepped forward to take a closer look. There, in the pan, lay an assortment of grasshoppers, ants and other beetles. My appetite fled. So did I.
3 p.m. We had visited most of Bangkok’s landmarks and were feeling hungry again. We stopped at a roadside stall where I told the shopkeeper that I was a vegetarian. He smiled and brought me a bowl of noodles, peanuts, tofu and dried shrimp. Evidently the term ‘vegetarian’ included seafood as well. I didn’t want to appear insensitive. I finished it.
Next on the agenda was a trip to one of Bangkok’s fish markets. The endless rows of fresh and dried fish of a million different varieties were an impressive sight. The odor was equally striking.
And finally, it was time for dinner. We were eating with a Thai family. My heart sank as I realized that each and every item on the menu contained meat but by the time we had finished the meal, my fragile vegetarian sensibilities had fled forever.
And I had thoroughly enjoyed every bit of it.</p>

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<p>it's quite perceptive, which is good, but what are you trying to show about yourself?</p>

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<p>Um... I think the roommate has more to do with assigning roommates than in decisions.</p>

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<p>that i am able to adapt to change.
that despite the fact that i'm not used to something and dont like it initially, i can actually bring myself to enjoy it later on.
that i'm good at acquiring new tastes.
i obviously haven't made the point too clear. Brilliant. Any ideas where to edit this stupid essay so that i can bring all that out more clearly? Thanks.</p>

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<p>btw will stanford mind very much if i overshoot the one page limit for the long essay by a teensy little bit?</p>

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<p>guys,</p>

<p>when i went to visit stanford and to hear their admissions talk, they said that you should just cross out the whole 'roommate' thing in the question for that essay, because they basically just want you to write about an experience that say something about you. dont direct it toward anyone.</p>

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<p>the_leaf: really? damn ive read a lot where people address the fictional roommate in a short letter</p>

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<p>thanks leaf</p>

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<p>sucharita...i like it...one little suggestion is not to use "fled" again...i like how you use it the first time...saying the same thing a second time takes away from the effect..!!!...also...maybe you can say that you ate the shrimp with some difficulty because if you're a strict veg. then you won't just eat it to avoid looking insensitive!
other than that..it's good...your writing is very simple and clear!</p>

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<p>nvm...you talk about "fragile veg. sensibilities"...which takes care of the shrimp deal</p>

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<p>thanks shjanama</p>

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<p>Sucharita,why is it that we think on the same bandwidth?
believe it or not,my roommate essay is also abt difficulties I faced as a vegetarian in Bangkok :)</p>

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<p>I'm at Stanford now. My roommate essay was directed towards a potential future roommate. It was humorous and light on content, mostly trying to show a different side of me - more human perhaps. </p>

<p>.. if that helps at all</p>