<p>The GF and her parents will have to push for a change. The school has the kid and cannot actually discriminate based on mental illness. It is in thier best interest to force the GF to stay in the room, and it is just more convenient for them.</p>
<p>But, the GF is not responsible for this young woman, nor is she capable of handling whatever it is the girl is dealing with, whether it is just a nutty aliens abducted me story, or it is a severe issue, the point is that GF is not responsible to live with this or to attempt to discern which it is, either. She is a young woman and she is there to focus on herself and her studies and the authorities need to be forced to deal with it. I’m sure they won’t “want” to. There are laws in place to protect the roommate which may make the parent’s involvement necessary.</p>
<p>JHS–your story really breaks my heart. For you all, and for your friend, too.</p>
<p>Oh, and while counseling might be contacted, the parents need to contact the head of student life, or whoever is in charge of the dorm rooms and get the room change made. This is the most important and expedient way to get the GF’s safety taken care of. It will also force the school to look into it.</p>
<p>Son is refusing to give me gf’s cell phone number so I can pass it along. He and gf talked about contacting the roommate’s parents, but they don’t seem willing to talk to anyone at the university about the problem, even when I mentioned gf could be in danger. I don’t think they’re convinced the girl needs help. After all, as of this morning, they were actually believing the girl’s story. They probably feel telling someone about this would be a major betrayal.</p>
<p>I’d suggest that OP keep track (date/time/names) of anyone contacted about this situation. As a previous poster said, the average onset of schizophrenia can be as late as 22 or so, but other illnesses, including brain tumors, can cause hallucinations. This troubled student may also be having a bad reaction to meds/drugs/both.</p>
<p>FWTW, I’m sorry, but the initial staff response (head of counseling) sounds a little dismissive and frankly risky to me–though he may just be speaking in a casually reassuring way so the other students don’t get worked up.</p>
<p>Dinmor, when you take this apart and look at what’s happening, the initial response is not actually inappropriate - even if the situation turns out to be serious (which based on what we’ve heard, I would guess to be the case). </p>
<p>At the moment, the school has only heard from the parent of the boyfriend of the roommate of the student.</p>
<p>As legitimate as many of us agree that her concerns are, it’s useful to stop and think about this. Do you want a counseling center that’s jumping at the call of <em>every</em> parent-of-the-SO-of-a-roommate? That’s really not the way things should work on a regular basis. Think about some of the CC posts you’ve seen and ponder the consequences. </p>
<p>Think about what might happen if someone whose concerns were not as legitimate as toledo’s made such a call, perhaps about your kid. Would you want counseling services jumping at their suggestion?</p>
<p>This is among the many reasons the RA (or whatever equivalent dorm counselor/supervisor) is the best first choice. That person’s voice carries credibility that someone outside the school doesn’t have. </p>
<p>Please note, I’m not at all saying toledo isn’t credible, or anything like that.</p>
<p>I know a guy who believes (or believed, I’m not sure how things stand at this point) that aliens abducted him in his sleep multiple times. He truly was not dangerous and not psychotic. I hate to say it about this wonderful man, but I think it’s something more related to being very suggestable and gullible. But mental illness, no.</p>
<p>I agree with everyone’s suggestion to follow up with the college and all, it’s importantto at least make it known, but I think there’s a bit of a possible over reaction going on here.</p>
<p>I am shocked, beyond shocked, that the head of counseling, without evaluating a young student who is becoming increasingly delusional, is not a danger (to herself? to others?) because he has third hand information that she is matter of fact and not agitated. What is his basis for saying this? Is there some secret literature that predicts the behavior of young people experiencing what may be their first psychotic break (No way to know this based on the info here, but certainly a possibility) based on a third hand matter of factness scale that only he has heard of? </p>
<p>Does he know her diagnosis? Does he know if she is experiencing command hallucinations? Does he know her family history? Does he know if she has symptoms of schizophrenia? Does he know if she has a history of mental illness? No, no, no, no, and no! And given all these no’s, in the absence of any clinical data whatsoever, it is the height of irresponsibility for him to reassure toledo that everything is copacetic. </p>
<p>IMHO, the GF should not be there until the roommate has been properly evaluated. Preferably by someone who knows what they’re doing. Maybe it’s nothing; maybe the roommate’s whole family believes in visiting aliens and nightly levitation and she is otherwise perfectly sound. But until an evaluation takes place, there is no way to determine the appropriate reaction. Call me overprotective, but if the GF were my child, I would not want her rooming with an untreated, actively hallucinating roommate.</p>
<p>This is a matter for the Dean of Students to deal with. The student may be a threat to herself or others. There are procedures for dealing with this kind of issue, and the procedures need to be followed.</p>
<p>Agree with what others have posted about getting adult help, but I also agree with Harriet that the head of counseling could have responded appropriately, especially if the roommate is not agitated. </p>
<p>There are many people who believe that they have been, or are being visited by, aliens, and some who are convinced they channel messages from them. (Look in the New Age section of Borders, or check out some of the videos on Youtube). Sure, these beliefs look weird, but they may not be symptomatic of schizophrenia. If the roommate’s cousin also claims the same experiences, maybe they come from a family that has some type of unorthodox, New Agey belief system. And beliefs that technically are delusional don’t always entail dysfunction (look for example at all the people who think Elvis is alive).</p>
<p>Another possibility is that since she says they’re at night, it could be hypnagogic hallucinations (which happen to some people, especially when sleep-deprived; dreams spilling over into a waking state). But it could be an organic problem too, so it’s good to check out that possibility, too. </p>
<p>IMHO, it helps if we need to look at the weird beliefs in the overall context of the person’s behaviors, and at everyone individually. One person who claims alien visitors may be having serious problems and another may be fine. JMO.</p>
<p>Right, this is what I (and others) have been advocating. </p>
<p>The head of counseling for a college cannot and should not be expected to push immediate action based on a call from a person who hasn’t met the person they’re calling about, let alone encountered the behavior that’s troubling.
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<p>You are absolutely right. At the same time, he doesn’t know anything about toledo (though we do, and we credit her concern). She is not the parent of the child in question, nor yet the child who is expressing concern. We know she’s legit - but how is the head of counseling supposed to know that? </p>
<p>Again, please ponder how easily this could go awry. If you think crankpots don’t make calls to college counseling centers about their kids’ roommates, you’ve never volunteered in a counseling center. And you shouldn’t need to have done that to realize what a can of worms it can be to act in haste on a telephone call such as this.</p>
<p>toledo is doing the right thing already - bringing in the RA is not meant to be the solution, but the first step to registering the concern as legitimate, and allowing the school to follow the appropriate procedures. toledo deserves enormous credit for listening to her son and his concerns about his gf’s roommate, and wanting to address the root problem. I <em>would</em> expect very prompt action after contacting the RA.</p>
<p>^Absolutely, califa. But if I were King of the College, I would rather be safe than sorry, and the safe route would be to check out the situation pronto, and to provide some security and guidance to an at-the-least-freaked-out young roommate. Maybe there’s only a 5% chance of anything bad happening, but if that happens to be how the dice roll everyone is going to look terrible if there has been no quick response. The risk that delusion-girl will harm freaked-roommate is probably the least of it. I would worry equally or more about delusion-girl hurting herself, freaked-roommate hurting delusion-girl out of fear, or freaked-roommate consuming herself with guilt for not doing more if something bad happens to delusion-girl. Also, the lawsuits.</p>
<p>Sure, it may not be completely crazy to believe that aliens are talking to you. But it is completely crazy to leave two 18-year-olds in that situation without close adult involvement and supervision.</p>
<p>Agree w/Harriet. Even if the head of counseling was jumping into action, he/she may not tell toledo as there are privacy issues involved. For all we know, the gf could be naive and the roommate is yanking her chain. I seriously doubt it, but we just don’t know.</p>
<p>Bottom line for me: I’d get gf out of that room and continue to follow up on the situation.</p>
<p>My guess is that this issue will get more prompt attention from school officials if the request for assistance/action is coming from the roommate and/or her parent(s). Hearsay from a third party is not – and should not be – considered proof of anything. This girl might simply be pranking a gullible roommate after being inspired by the Paranormal Activity movie, or the kid might be pulling his parent’s leg, since he and his gf seem reluctant to talk to anyone else about this. (Has gf discussed this with her parents?)</p>
<p>Another possibility is the student counseling service is already aware of and treating the “alien-visited” girl, and they are not allowed to disclose anything about it due to privacy laws.</p>
<p>All that said, if this was my child’s roommate, I would be alarmed and would insist that my child talk to the RA and the Dean of Students about this.</p>
<p>At many schools, this would be reason enough to send the student home, and I mean, I have seen this happen within a few hours, once the RA or dean knows anything about it.</p>
<p>I would hope the school is reacting more promptly and with more concern than indicated on the phone.</p>
<p>By the same token, my DD living off campus had a roommate and roommates mother who were constantly calling the landlord and saying nasty things about my DD. By the end of the traumatic time, the landlord’s office gal who was doing some sort of psych/social grad work told me she thought THEY both had a personality disorder and were codependent! I am glad no one took their ramblings too seriously.</p>
<p>Some adult should definitely check on the girl in an official capacity (a counselor or therapist) because she might be having mental problems.</p>
<p>That said, an amazingly high percentage of Americans believe they’re “visited by aliens” or have seen sasquatch or that kind of thing. There was actually a guy at my old workplace who thought he’d been abducted by aliens (just once, not on a regular basis.) He didn’t bring it up unless you asked and was touchy about people not believing him. I have no idea why he thought he’d been abducted by aliens, but he didn’t act unstable at all.</p>
<p>OMG, Naturally, those were the other symptoms she’s experienced. That could be it. She has described being paralyzed. Wouldn’t that be a relief to everyone involved?!</p>
<p>I would not depend on the RA in this situation. (Especially if he/she is anything like my D’s RA–useless.) Get the adults involved ASAP-- dean of residential life, counsellors, etc.</p>
<p>@ Harriet: I’m not really sure what you don’t understand in my post (where was I suggesting counsellors “jumping?”). IMO the head counselor’s response to the caller is inappropriate on several levels. As described, it sounds as though he spoke to the caller as if the hallucinating student has already been diagnosed with some mental illness. If your concern is that the whole situation could become grist for the college’s rumor mill, then reread the quote and think that piece through. </p>
<p>If the counselor was just being reassuring to the caller, but in fact is working behind the scenes to find out the truth, fine. But he could and should have said responded better; that’s part of his job.</p>
<p>The likelihood of someone pulling a mean prank about a supposedly mentally unbalanced student and risking getting into a lot of trouble with the school pales compared to the greater likelihood that there’s a genuine mental or medical problem here, and that the hallucinator and/or others could be at risk and need immediate attention, not a committee discussion next week.</p>
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<p>It is a fact that the schools are not allowed to contact the parents of this kid as it would be a HIPAA violation. Just like parents are legally not allowed to obtain a students grades without their permission the school is not allowed to discuss this situation with the parental units. Furthermore, if it is determined that the student has a mental condition the case then falls under a “disability” heading and is covered by the “Americans with Disability Act” further tying the hands of the school. This is the lesson I learned when my S roommate attempted suicide. Basically, if this alien invasion of this student takes place the school can not legally contact the parents to discuss the situation.</p>