<p>It's that time of year again, when we start hearing of issues that may emerge between roommates. </p>
<p>I chuckled at a call from D today.....she's very mature and I'm sure they will all work things out, so I'm more amused than concerned....</p>
<p>She's in an on-campus language immersion apt this year (her 2nd yr). All the roommates have similar interests (speak same language when in their apt), etc. She happens to be in a triple with 2 other girls, in a 4-br apt. One of her roommies has seemed a bit "odd" from the beginning, but generally OK. D has been a lot more comfortable with the other roommate. </p>
<p>Today, in a somewhat awkward moment, the 2nd roommie said that she was going to have her new boyfriend "over" from 3-5 this afternoon. She did "ask", but D said it was awkward, and the roomie said, "Well, it will be when you are in your lab class anyway.", and made it clear that she wanted their bedroom to herself. Well, D got out of the lab at 3:30 (2 hrs early) and found the other roommate in the living room. Seems like they (D and other roommate) were both "sexiled" this afternoon! Good grief. Luckily, they do have a separate living room and kitchen, so it's not as awkward as it would be in a regular dorm, but it was a new and different issue for her. Last year, (also in a triple), the roommate with a boyfriend was much more discreet! I told her that maybe they needed to have the old "tie on the door" or "light in the window" signal!!! jeez!</p>
<p>I imagine your daughter's much happier she was told they'd be having personal time then than if the roommate had just assumed your D would be at lab the entire time and didn't tell her anything was up!</p>
<p>How incredibly...awkward for all concerned! I can't imagine enjoying time with a BF if I knew that my roommates were sitting outside waiting for me to be finished "entertaining." (cues up the song "Afternoon Delight") And being one of the roommates sitting in the common area -- how uncomfortable!</p>
<p>I think this calls for a suite-wide conversation...in plain English! ;)</p>
<p>How many times do we think something similar happened yesterday on America's college campuses? 30,000? 40,000? 400,000?</p>
<p>This is the kind of thing young roommates have to, and do, work out among themselves. Sometimes it's awkward, sure. The OP's daughter, having been forewarned, might have found something else to do for a bit when she got out of her lab early, rather than hanging around the common room wondering when it was all going to be over.</p>
<p>countingdown, thanks for the soundtrack !! made me laugh! (and I'm sorry to admit that I know all the words to that song). </p>
<p>Lighten up, JHS! She was tired from being in classes all day, and just ready to chill out in her room....certainly not a crisis for anyone, but it did raise an issue that they'll need to work out, that she just didn't run into last year. I chuckled the whole time she was telling me about it.</p>
<p>It doesn't sound like a big deal to me, but then I went to college in the early 70s. I think it was nice of the roommate to let the OP's D know in advance so there were no embarrassing surprises, and so if the D had needed to get into the bedroom earlier, she could have negotiated that.</p>
<p>In the 70"s I was sexiled every weekend...would come back to my room and MY stuff would be in the hall....the next morning when i went to my room they would be sitting on MY bed, Yuck....because the other one was never made!!!!</p>
<p>I think the OP's D is fortunate to have a roommate who warns her.</p>
<p>Last year, when S was a freshman, he woke up a couple of times to find his roommate was having sex. S also walked in on his roommate's having sex. </p>
<p>Those incidents made the fact that the roommate left his stinky, sweaty dirty clothes in a big heap on the floor (and hardly ever did laundry) seem like a trivial problem. When we visited and asked how S dealt with the odor, he handed us a can of air freshner. </p>
<p>Fortunately, S got to pick his roommates this year, and is very, very happy with them.</p>
<p>Northstarmom, in college, H lived (for a semester) in the tiniest apartment I'd ever seen....his roommate was a rugby player, and one of the most disgusting human beings I've ever met. (He's the kind that gives Rugby players a bad name!) He had a MAJOR body odor problem, and he rarely washed his rugby clothes. H finally got him to agree to disrobe and leave the smelly practice clothes out in the hallway outside their apartment, so H could breathe in the apartment. EWWWWW.</p>
<p>This is unrelated, but the odor comments brought back a memory. I was an RA on a hall with a great bunch of kids, but there was a time when everyone came banging on my door one night to complain about a bad smell permeating the entire hall. Following the odor, I came to a room at the end the hall. I knocked on the door and when it opened my knees almost buckled. A bunch of guys were crowded in the small room trying to cook on a hot plate. They were trying to make fishhead soup --from scratch! Ugh! The hall wreaked for nearly a week.</p>
<p>Reminds me once when visiting a girlfriend in college 25 yrs ago. She stayed on an all girls floor in the dorm, but male visitors where common on weekends. They would flip the bathroom sign to "Men" when a guy was in there.<br>
As I was standing at the sink brushing my teeth, girls were walking in to shower, etc and they didn't give a hoot! I think I was more embarrassed.</p>
<p>Back when dinosaurs roamed the earth and I was in college, you could be expelled for having a guy in your room after parietals. </p>
<p>We used to have fire drills. They were always after parietals, usually about 1 a.m. Illegal visitors would stay in the dorm, hiding in closets while the searchers went door to door making sure everyone had heard the alarm and exited. (If we didn't all get out of the dorm in less than 3 minutes, we got a repeat within the week.) It dawned on the deans that if there were ever a REAL fire, a few young men were going to burn to death. </p>
<p>So, amnesty was declared. If a guy exited your room, you wouldn't get in trouble. If, however, he was caught STAYING in your room by the searchers, you did. </p>
<p>So, there we'd be, shivering outside at 1 a.m.--about 500 females and 2 -3 half dressed guys with bright red faces. It made fire drills fun!</p>