<p>A year ago I was in the same shoes as the freshman who are now moving into their respective schools today. I just want to offer some advice, don't hate your roommate it gets you nowhere. Last year I started school with a random, assigned roommate who I never even communicated with before I moved in. We didn't get along at first; we got in squabbles, mocked each other, trashed talked and really weren't exactly super chummy. I thought I had a stereotypical "bad roommate" you hear so much about in pop culture but I was wrong.</p>
<p>We actually began TALKING to each other and in the process we became friends, the hate ended and instead we started eating lunch together and helping one another out. By years end we were best friends, and are rooming together again this year. </p>
<p>My advice to incoming Freshman is this; if you start to fight with your roommate, it doesn't have to end badly. Don't shut your roommate out, instead talk man to man with them and you might make a friend in the process.</p>
<p>I got along very well with my suitemates and former roommate; I currently live in an apartment with my suitemates, and in the fall when we move to our new apartment (the apartment we live in now is just a summer sublease), my old roommate and my sister will be joining us. </p>
<p>However, during winter quarter when I lived in the dorms, my former roommate took a quarter leave due to health issues, and I was replaced with a new roommate since there was a vacancy in my room. Anyway, the new roommate showed at the very beginning she did not want to be friends with us. She was always condescending whenever she talked to us, had a know-it-all attitude about everything, once criticized my suitemate for eating cereal by pouring cereal in first, then pouring in milk (my new roommate does it the other way around and thinks my suitemate is wrong for doing it the other way, and also thought my Jamba Juice drink was sorbet when it was clearly a smoothie), and several times, we asked her nicely to help take out the trash or do something (because it’s always just me and my suitemates who do the chores), but she never does–she once put the trash bag from the trash can under her bed into the main trash bins out in the common area of our suite and expected me and my suitemates to take care of it for her! On the day we had to move out of the dorms, we asked her nicely again if she could help. Her response? “Oh, I’m busy.” (note: she was already done with finals and was playing video games at the time) When I vacuumed, she just stared blankly at me instead of asking if she could help. No matter what my suitemates and I did, she always pushed us away.</p>
<p>^^ Yea seriously. Just be accommodating. You’ll be shocked at who you can get along with. You couldn’t find three people less similar to each other than my suitemates and I, but we all made it work and compromised and are now pretty good friends. I’m even living with one of them again next year (in a suite this time, though). It’s absolutely NO USE to be stubborn and negative. </p>
<p>IF you have a roommate that insists on being this way despite your best attempts – This happened to my best friend, her roommate irrationally hated her and was really depressed and negative and would just glare at my bff when she spoke – Then try to just operate as if there’s no one else in the room, while being respectful. Limit conversation to an as-needed basis. It would have been a lot worse for my friend if she tried to argue or got angry at this girl and she wound up switching rooms at the semester. But she was literally one of two people I knew who had to get a roommate switch. And the other was more about the girl’s boyfriend than the roommate herself. So almost any roommate situation is totally bearable and even fun. </p>
<p>It’s all about your attitude. She chose to think of her roommate situation as comical and so did I with all of our differences and it turned out to be a good year regardless. Roommate stuff is much less of a big deal than people chalk it up to be. A good roommate can make your year, but a less than perfect one DEFINITELY doesn’t break it.</p>
<p>I dormed as a freshman last year, and I was super open minded about the whole experience and went out of my way to be super nice to BOTH of my roommates (yes, I was in a triple). One of them ended up getting the reputation of the super awkward guy on my dorm floor and the other was just super quiet. I remember being really frustrated with the awkward roomie because he didn’t seem to understand privacy boundaries and what not, but overall he was a genuinely nice guy so at the end of the day I didn’t really care. But the other guy was just so quiet it drove me insane. I would ALWAYS have to initiate conversations with him, you know to invite him to hang out/get something to eat. Even at move-in day at our dorms, I was in the room first unpacking my stuff, he arrives after and then just starts unpacking without saying a WORD and waited for me to say something even though I was there first and he obviously noticed I was there before I noticed him. But I just gave him the benefit of the doubt and thought maybe he’s just a shy guy. </p>
<p>After the first quarter of inviting him to everything and initiating every conversation or so I just gave up and said forget about this guy. Pretty much after that for the whole year we never talked to each other unless it was out of necessity. And after that not going to lie I became kind of a ****ty roommate to him because I just didn’t care what he thought lol because he never attempted to be friends with me. I mean I understand the whole you don’t have to be friends with your roommates, but it’s annoying that he never went out of his way. </p>
<p>It really depends, though. Last year, some of my roommates and I were so incompatible that nothing we could have done would have helped the situation. They were quiet people and we liked to be social, have people over, and we did smoke (a huge problem for them, but we had a balcony so it wasn’t in their faces). We signed to live together in October of our freshman year, so there was no way to know these problems would arise and it was pretty much just a matter of bad luck. But god did we hate each other by the time we moved out.</p>
<p>Even if you have a balcony, you can still smell the cig. I hate the smell of cigarettes so much. After someone finishes smoking, they smell just like it. It’s like if they are a walking cigarette. If you’re anywhere near a cigarette, you can smell it.</p>
<p>Don’t they have something like that while choosing a roommate? Like “Don’t smoke” or “don’t drink”, or something like “Smoke-free” floor, and they match you up like that? Or do schools not care about mixing a smoke-free person in with a smoker? That’s pretty cruel, to have to endure that.</p>
<p>^Oh I know. But it was all that I could do, since I’m not about to quit smoking just because my roommates don’t like it. I’m sure you can see here how we were just totally incompatible. I did really feel bad that they had to live with me, as I started smoking before I started living with them, and I tried to cover up the smell as best I could, but no matter what I did, it wasn’t good enough for them since they still smelled smoke, etc., even when I couldn’t.</p>
<p>I think it depends on the school, too. My school did random roommates for everyone (in the dorms though, at the time I lived in an apartment) so I’m sure non-smokers were put with smokers all the time. My roommates signed with me before I started to smoke or drink much really, so that was just a case of bad luck. </p>
<p>I think part of the college experience, though, is having to deal with people who might use substances and learning how to get along with people who are different from you…there is a substance free floor at my school but I’ve heard mixed reviews about it. Not saying you need to be in the midst of constant partying, but I think it’s good to learn how to get along with someone who might keep a handle of booze under his bed, for example.</p>
<p>^^ My school doesn’t do that. All they ask is whether you want a single or double, to rank the three housing areas in order of preference, and/or which academic themed program you would like to be a part of (each floor of the freshmen dorms have a specific theme that they cater to, and it changes every year. Transfer students do not get to pick this option).</p>
<p>I’ve already determined that we’re not going to be friends. I’m pretty sure the roommate questionnaire was just for show, because I ended up with a guy who smokes and goes to bed late. Both things I said I didn’t do. He’s also kind of a partier We’re very, very different. But we’re getting along. We talked before we moved in, we’ve both been accommodating to each other, and we signed a roommate contract.</p>
<p>Right now we’re both fine with live and let live. He spends a lot more time with our suitemates next door. I briefly considered switching to the guy across the hall whose roommate didn’t show up because we’re already getting along pretty well. But I figured if my roommate and I don’t outright hate each other why go through the hassle? I had no expectations that my roommate would be my best friend. Honestly so far it’s going a lot better than I had expected.</p>