<p>Ok...my parents are now having second thoughts about boarding schools. They think that a lot of hazing, drugs, deaths, sexual harrasment, etc. happen because US schools, or rather Americans, are "wild". I told them that this is usually rampant in public schools only. But they are not convinced.</p>
<p>Safety seems to be a priority in most schools and due to the low teacher-student ratio and support systems, students seem to be fairly happy. I know that all schools have problems regarding those mentioned above, but I think that I'll be fine. I've gone over the info on health centers (what time it's open, availability, nursing staff, proximity to a hospital, etc.). From what I've heard and read, these scandals are either accidents (for deaths) or a rarity.</p>
<p>Also, they are now focused on Singapore boarding schools. I know that Singapore has a GREAT education system and ranks as the best (especially in Science and Math). But: there isn't much diversity, they are more on academics, not much boarders, int'l student are usually from Asian countries. American schools are obviously more well-rounded and diverse. That is what I'm after. My parents think the schools in Singapore are safer and since it's nearer to the Philippines, easier to visit (cheaper airfare, less time).</p>
<p>What do you think?? </p>
<p>By the way, sorry for misspellings or shortcuts-I'm in a hurry. :)</p>
<p>There is someone who sometimes posts on this board who is a student in Singapore. I don't remember her name, but if you do a search for "Singapore," her posts will probably appear. You can send her a private message to ask questions about Singapore schools.
Isn't there a boarding school in the Philippines called Brent?</p>
<p>For American students, a "permissive" culture is -- at worst -- no different between boarding school, public school and private day school. It really wouldn't (or shouldn't) be a factor, generally speaking. There are factors that make American boarding schools much safer and less prone to the problems that concern your parents. And there are factors that make it more prone to those problems (beginning with the idea of putting a bunch of hormone-raging adolescents together 24/7).</p>
<p>Bridging the cultural divide from the Phillipines may by too difficult for parents to get used to. Compound that with the minimal chance for your parents to fully investigate the schools or visit them on a tight budget and their concerns are understandable. </p>
<p>If my child wanted to go to school in Europe I would have similar concerns -- and would feel that I wouldn't be able to do what I needed to do as a parent to ensure my child's safety (or at least satisfy myself that I've taken all the steps a responsible parent should take). Considering there are excellent options close by, where I can take the steps I believe I need to take, the European option would be terminal at its inception.</p>
<p>Shifting that scenario to the west, with a Phillipine family looking at the U.S., those obstacles would be more profound. The cultural differences, the distance...they are increased geometrically for your parents. Considering that (as I recall) you would be seeking FA, it's not as if your parents could be making lengthy and costly trips to perform the "due diligence" they would need to perform to potentially alleviate their concerns to their satisfaction.</p>
<p>They may seem like they are being overprotective, narrow-minded, unreasonable or just throwing arbitrary roadblocks in the way of your master plan, but they have a job to do as parents as best they can and I can fully empathize with parents declining to relinquish their role. </p>
<p>I suspect some parents see boarding schools as an opportunity to shed themselves of their parental responsibilities, but your parents are open to boarding school options for you while remaining fully engaged as your parents. Sweet.</p>
<p>Since last spring we've had to have a card to open dorms. You can find more about this in the Choate News. </p>
<p>There's always a curfew (I forget what it is on weekends; and then you have to be in the dorm by 7:30 on weekdays for study hours). Prefects come around and check where you are then and then you check in again after break - around 9:30. </p>
<p>What makes Choate different is that if you do know someone who is physically disabled or mentally disabled temporarily because of alcohol or drugs, you can call crisis and the person and you won't get in trouble. They do this because they're afraid you won't seek help if you're afraid you or your friend might be in danger. </p>
<p>You can research more of this; I'd say do what you think is right, and discuss this with your parents, because as you see, it's also a big step for them too. If they realize you'll be safe, and you are able to show them, then they'll be more comfortable with it.</p>
<p>As parents of BS kids, we are very concern about all these safety issues as well. This is a calculated risk that we took in order for our children getting a great education and a great experience. </p>
<p>All in all, we think our schools had done a good job watching out for the kids. There are many support systems, ranging from dorm counselors, coaches, proctors, classmates, friends, etc to help the students out. But, at the same time, there are many temptations and potential bad influences from the wrong friends.</p>
<p>I think it is up to you to demonstrate to your parents that you are mature enough, know how to pick friends, and stay out of trouble. Then, whether it be at Singapore or US, the risk is the same. </p>
<p>I do not know anything about the school in Singapore so I cannot make any comment or comparison. I do know a bit about high school in Philippines. If you can get into the top tiers schools in US, you will get a much better education than most of the schools in Philippines.</p>
<p>I think there has been a lot said above that is very insightful. And I know that the Filipino culture is not a homogenous one, much like the American culture. My 2 best friends in college were Filipinos (born in the PI, but transplaned to the us), one with a Chinese surname and the other with a Tagalog surname. Very different families, with the Chinese surnamed friend's family having many Chinese cultural identifications and the other being a more traditional very Catholic type. Very different takes on cultural things (girlfriends, money, etc. and especially talking about such things publically). </p>
<p>It would seem like your family is more eastern leaning than western leaning. We Americans are quite used to having our dirty laundry (scandals) exposed for all to see. If something bad has happened at a boarding school, it is difficult to keep it a secret for long, so you know pretty much everything about what goes on at a school. While I'm sure that Singaporean schools, much like their society, are very controlled and safe - and probably moreso than American schools and society, that comes at a price. That tradeoff between security and liberty is one that your parents seem to be leaning towards the security side of. Not saying it is right or wrong, but it is what it is. </p>
<p>You seem to have a grasp of what is going on here. I cannot tell you how to handle it, but if nothing else, I'm letting you know that I have some understanding of your situation. </p>
<p>It sounds like your parents are not quite comfortable with the big leap West. Perhaps it is the specific schools on your list - a couple of them have had issues IIRC. However, more likely all of the schools get lumped together (not that the ones you have are all that scandalous) rightly or wrongly with all the others that have had scandals. They probably don't trust their sources of information to get a school here where they can be assured of your absolute safety. They feel more comfortable with their sources of information on Singaporean schools. This may or may not be well founded in fact, but it what your parents have to make their judgement on and ultimately they have to live with the results (as well as you). </p>
<p>Geography does come into play (a false sense of security IMHO). If it makes you feel any better, many parents in the US are against their kids going away to college more than a couple of hours of drive. Somehow being able to get there (in your own car) in case of a crisis (however improbable) means a lot to these parents - too much to let go.</p>
<p>I wish I had a solution for you, but all I can send is my sympathy and understanding. Please let us know how this all evolves.</p>
<p>At a good BS, the level of permissiveness and freedom will be directly linked to the educational philosophy. If a school believes that education extends beyond book learning to encourage creativity and good decision making, it's campus is, hopefully, going to be more open, with the assumption that kids will sometimes go beyond their parents' comfort zone but that that's part of the education. Most good BS will strive to create an atmosphere that is safe but that allows students to grow up a bit and that requires some level of freedom.</p>
<p>Burb - Brent is a day school. I think there's only one BS here, can't remember the name of the school though.</p>
<p>ahq - Which schools do your kids go to? I noticed you're from HK, which is pretty far from the US.</p>
<p>I grew up with more Chinese influence than Filipino. And the Chinese are really...eh...strict, to say the least. My family is probably considered liberal compared to others. At first, they were really all for it and considered it as a great idea, but my aunt convinced them otherwise. :(</p>
<p>I am now giving them time first to think this over. I just introduced the prospect of all-girls' as safer. </p>
<p>Good news: My mom just asked me about the SSAT - when, where, how much. It seems like US schools are again being considered. I will be talking to my dad, since he has the final say in all this, later. Wish me luck. (He's hard to convince.)</p>
<p>Special Center
Instructions Please check location ahead of test date to ensure finding exact location and reporting on time.; Enter through Gate 3...the Visitors Gate to obtain a security pass if required.; Testing will be in Room Number P074-Next to Admissions Office. Students are not allowed to bring drinks or food inside the Testing Room.</p>
<p>cate_intl asked:
"ahq - Which schools do your kids go to? I noticed you're from HK, which is pretty far from the US."</p>
<p>My kids go to schools in New England. That's all I will say. Yes, the schools are half a world away from Hong Kong.</p>
<p>Many top schools had unfortunate incidents and the press is very eager to report on all these news. My opinion is that these are mostly isolated incidents. But, a lot of potential parents will be very concern. You will have to address these news early on when you are trying to convince your parents.</p>
<p>The difference between public hs and bs (here in the US anyway) is that bad behavior at a bs will definitely be addressed and the penalties are generally severe (i.e. expulsion). Exeter was just in the news (televised) a few days ago regarding a racial incident. You can be assured the perpetrators will be dealt with. Had this happened at a public school....which it does with much more frequency....it is sometimes not addressed at all or those involved get off with what amounts to a "slap on the wrist". At my son's school, if they find out that you are caught drinking even if you are on a school vacation, and the incident occurs while you are at home, you can be expelled. At our public hs, athletes continue to play on sports teams after a published DUI. I think the bs are safer and incidents are less likely to occur because of the consequences.</p>
<p>My mom seems to be just a little bit more supportive. It'll be better if the school is in CA, since I have relatives there. Unfortunately, Cate is the only one that offers FA to internationals. </p>
<p>Anyone know insider info on Hotchkiss, SAS, Cate, Berkshire? I just got the email that Berkshire offers aid to internationals. </p>
<p>Can I consider Berkshire as safety?</p>
<p>It seems like there are a lot of current students, past students, prospective students from Raffles. (That seems to be the top school in Singapore.) I'm still asking them for info. By the way, it seems like Raffles has more than 30 students per class. That's a con. Should I bother applying? Because one of the reasons why I want to go to US schools is the low student teacher ratio...</p>
<p>Not that it matters, but every time someone mentions Raffles, I think of (alternatively) a swanky casino frequented by Telly Savalas or an adopted black and white floppy eared spaniel loved by the whole family.</p>
<p>Dyer - hahaha. I usally associate Raffles with the lottery cage for mixing balls. A tradition for my family: We are a member of an association wherein those kids who get top honors in school are awarded with prize money and a raffle ticket. Usually, top prize is about 10,000 Philippine pesos. Quite a sweet deal. We students are practically salivating at the thought of having $$$ for ourselves. (But of course, parents insist on using half the cash in a celebratory dinner with all the relatives living here.) I have a feeling this encourages students to study hard. ;)</p>
<p>Question for the SSAT: which is a better test date - 11/10 or 12/08?</p>
<p>Is this one of those family/clan associations that is so popular with the Chinese communities in Philippines?</p>
<p>I would recommend taking the Nov SSAT test. Just in case for whatever reason you need to retake the exam, you still have time to register and to review for the Jan test.</p>
<p>Sir Thomas Stamford Bingley Raffles was an administrator for the British East Indian Company and one of the founders of Britain's empire in East Asia. He was lieutenant governor of Java from 181115, a historian, writer, zoologist, scientist and the person who established coffee and sugar production in Sumatra. In 1819 he secured the transfer of Singapore to the East India Company and is considered the founder of modern Singapore, where many things are named for him including one of the most luxurious hotels in the world. Although he was a colonial ruler, many of the practices he was lauded for the way he treated the people under his rule and for his suppression of the slave trade. He also founded the Zoological Society of London.</p>
<p>The name Raffles always makes me think of The Raffles Hotel in Singapore where the guests have included Joseph Conrad, Rudyard Kipling, Somerset Maugham, Charles Chaplin and Noel Coward. In 1904, it was named "the most magnificent establishment of its kind East of Suez". I also think of the Raffles hotels in Phnom Penh and Siem Reap (Angkor Wat) in Cambodia. They are dreamy places... I have a hard time thinking of Raffles as an intensely competitive girls' school.</p>
<p>When we visited Singapore, the Raffles hotel was undergoing renovation. The beautiful exterior and colonial style made an impression on me, and it is also my strongest association with the word "Raffles."</p>
<p>The name is kinda like the Gunnery, eh? Not the best selling point of a school. I want to visit the school to get a better sense of what's it like there. The students are said to be a little bit elitist, discriminating other students who go to a less prestigious school. </p>
<p>There is an ASEAN scholarship for Filipinos, and I might apply for that. The scholarship includes everything - including air fare, books, allowance - except personal expenses and lunch on school days. I have to finish soph year first though. I'm wondering if I will have to repeat 1st year if ever I'll be awarded the scholarship. I am getting the impression that you will be held back a year or two, therefore having a five/six-year high school experience. I'm not thrilled with the prospect of starting college when I'm 20...</p>