Sap appeal letter. Please review and let me know what you think! Thank you

Paying for College
1

<p>FYI, this is only 1 and a half pages long. Thanks a lot guys!</p>

<p>To the ______________ SAP Committee:</p>

<p>My name is ________________ and I am currently a sophomore at _______________<strong><em>. This letter is an appeal for my failure to meet the requirements in order to receive Financial Aid. My performance during Fall 2012 resulted in _</em></strong>______ and a “__” grade, therefore dropping my grade point average to a 1.7. In this letter, I will explain my reasons for these unsatisfactory results.</p>

<p>Before I discuss my unfortunate situation, please allow me to give a brief review of how my year started at ____<strong><em>. After graduating high school, my father and I would have many conversations about his friends who graduated as Biology majors from</em></strong>___; and he would constantly emphasize how great their yearly income was. So, it convinced me to major in Biology, specifically Agriculture. Fall of 2011, I began my freshmen year well prepared, with strong determination to complete my goals, and great enthusiasm towards my new life as a college student. During Spring 2012, I began to realize that I chose Biology for the wrong reasons. The only reasons I chose to major in Biology, was for the financial luxury, a good appearance, and to please my father. Consumed in this deep mental confusion, I changed my major to “undecided”. Fortunately, I ended my freshmen year with satisfying grades, and a grade point average of 3.5. Unfortunately, my state of mind gradually worsened over time. </p>

<p>I live in a small apartment with my grandparents, my mother, and my younger sister. Since my mother is the only person employed in our household, we are under the support of my mother’s low income. So over the summer, I ignored the confusion and questions about my future. Being the eldest child, I found it more important to focus on helping my mother with the finances. I spent the majority of the summer searching for employment. When Fall 2012 semester came close, the thoughts I left behind last semester had returned. I thought about my future, what I truly desired in life; and it all resulted in a cheerless conclusion that I did not know what to do with my life. Fall classes begin, and I continued searching for employment in hopes that I would be able to help my mother. I started my sophomore year clueless and mentally lost. I would sit in class and question my attendance. Then I began missing class sessions to search for work. My peers suggested I speak to an advisor, but I was too embarrassed to seek help when I had no idea what I wanted. Basically, this entire situation was caused by my lack of self-esteem, motivation, and steady state of mind. I acknowledge my mistakes completely and take full responsibility for my actions. There is no other person to blame, but myself for my poor performance this past semester. </p>

<pre><code>During the winter break, I spent most of my time babysitting my father’s friend’s 7 year-old daughter and visiting many of my old elementary school teachers. After pondering over and over, I have decided that I want to be a teacher. I have always adored children and many children have been very fond of me. I want to help children and make a difference in their lives. It would be an honor to guide them through the life of learning. From now on, I am no longer “undecided”. I have gained much confidence to seek help and will speak to an advisor regularly about my future plans. The past few months has given me the opportunity to find my true desire in life. Unfortunately, I sacrificed my academic performance to do so. But one thing I have learned from this painful experience of mental chaos, “It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light” – Aristotle Onassis
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<p>I hope this letter provided a clear understanding of the past dilemma I had with myself, that no longer exists, and the reason for my poor academic results. I guarantee that I will handle all my academic issues the correct way. I beg you reconsider my eligibility for financial aid, because without it, I would have to work to support my education from my own pocket, thus decreasing my chances of graduating on time. My mother makes less than __________ a year; I could not bear to ask for her help. My situation may not be as sympathetic or important as others, but we are all reaching for the same goal and the only thing preventing us from reaching that goal, is money. I want to be the first in my family to graduate from a 4-year university and show that I have made the right choices in life. If you allow this second opportunity, I assure you that it will not be taken for granted. </p>

<p>Thank you so much for your time and consideration,</p>

<p>Sincerely,</p>

<hr>

2

<p>I’d say it’s way too long.</p>

3

<p>I agree it is tooooo long. </p>

<p>What I hear is that you chose the ‘wrong’ major, you have complex family/financial issues, and you believe you have located your passion in teaching. Convince the committee that you now have a plan going forward, rather than elaborating so much on how you arrived where you are.</p>

<p>Good luck.</p>

4

<p>^^^ Exactly!!! Almost word for word what I would have told you. Musicmom’s advice is spot on!</p>

5

<p>Right, don’t lose their attention by the lengthy explanation- what they are looking for is very specific reasons to trust you, steps you have taken that prove you are now on the right track. All you have done here is talk about the challenges and your inability to take charge or self-advocate. You are asking them to feel sorry and have faith in you-- but they need “show, not tell.” Can you do that? Can you show them why they should now trust you?</p>

6

<p>I really appreciate all your suggestions. and I do agree it’s too long now that I take a better look. I will limit it to one page next time. But what could I possibly write that would SHOW I can be trusted? Thanks a lot!</p>

7

<p>Should I list the classes I plan to take for my major?</p>

8

<p>Which part of this letter is unnecessary? So that I may remove it or possibly rephrase it somehow…</p>

9

<p>Take the first two to three large paragraphs and cut them down to a few sentences . . . total! You don’t need all that detail. As musicmom said: you chose the wrong major, and then your life was complicated by financial issues. Now, you’ve realized what you want to do, and you’re ready to move forward. Focus on showing that you now have a clear plan for what you want to do, and for what you need to do in order to accomplish that.</p>

10

<p>Here is my revised letter, please have a look. I was able to cut everything down to one page and each paragraph makes my point. Thank you again for your time!</p>

<p>To the _____________SAP Committee:</p>

<p>My name is _____<strong><em>and I am currently a sophomore at </em></strong><strong><em>. This letter is an appeal for my failure to meet the requirements in order to receive Financial Aid. My performance during Fall 2012 resulted in </em></strong> and one “__” grade, therefore dropping my grade point average to a 1.7. In this letter, I will explain my reasons for these unsatisfactory results. Fall of 2011, I began my freshmen year as a Biology major, well prepared, with strong determination to complete my goals, and great enthusiasm towards my new life as a college student. I did well my first semester. During Spring 2012, I realized that I chose to major in Biology for the wrong reasons, so I changed my major to “undecided”. Fortunately, I ended my freshmen year with satisfying grades, and a grade point average of 3.5. </p>

<p>My grandparents, my mother, my younger sister, and I all live under the same roof. My mother, being the only one employed, supports our family with the extremely low income she receives. I wanted to help my mother, so I spent the summer searching for work and possibly a major. With our economy, it is almost impossible to be a full-time student without having a job on the side. Every college student I knew was employed. Since I did not know what to major in, I felt that having a job would help me decide. I missed a few class sessions during Fall 2012 to search for work. My peers suggested I speak to an advisor, but I was too embarrassed to seek help when I had no idea what I wanted. I completely acknowledge my mistakes and take full responsibility for my actions. There is no other person to blame, but myself.</p>

<pre><code>Winter break arrived, and after spending hours babysitting, speaking to my old elementary school teachers, online research, and thought, I have decided that I want to be a teacher. I’ve always wanted to help people and make a difference someone’s life. With the talents and skills I possess, I believe I would make a great teacher. I have gained much confidence in my goals and will speak to an advisor regularly about my future plans. If I am granted financial aid for the spring of 2013, I plan to re-register in the classes I did not pass and study harder than before. I will visit the Liberal Studies department to change my major. I have reviewed the major requirements for Liberal Studies majors online. I will continue to complete all my general education classes and proceed to enroll in my major classes the semester after. The past few months gave me the opportunity to find my path in life. Unfortunately, I sacrificed my academic performance to do so. But one thing I have learned from this painful experience of mental chaos, “It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light” – Aristotle Onassis
</code></pre>

<p>I hope this letter provided a clear understanding of the past dilemma I had with myself, that no longer exists, and the reason for my poor academic results. I guarantee that I will handle all my academic issues the correct way. I beg you reconsider my eligibility for financial aid, because without it, I would have to work to support my education from my own pocket, thus decreasing my chances of graduating on time. My mother makes less than $12,000 a year, I could not bare to ask for her help. My situation may not be as sympathetic or important as others, but we all strive to reach the same goal and the only thing preventing us from reaching that goal, is money. I want to be the first in my family to graduate from a 4-year university and show that I have made the right choices in life. If you allow this second opportunity, I assure you that it will not be taken for granted. </p>

<p>Thank you so much for your time and consideration,</p>

<p>Sincerely,</p>

<hr>