In case it wasn’t clear from the title, this is a thread about Sarah Lawrence. I’m horrified by the recent coverage (here’s an example) of the “sex cult” linked to the school and its campus – but as a prospective applicant, how put off should I be? To what extent do you think this actually reflects on the college?
I think that it very much reflects on the college. Consider ths article from several years before the cult incident. The problems it describes aren’t unique to Sarah Lawrence, but they are exhibit #1.
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Very.
Call me naive - but if that’s not your style, it’s unlikely to happen to you - i.e. you’re not going to “hook up” so if that’s what the guy wants and you don’t, then it won’t happen - assuming everything is consensual, of course.
If that’s not your type of mate, then you won’t be with that person.
I’m sure there are plenty of non-hook up guys - or if not, you won’t date on campus.
Even at a campus with more guys or that’s 50/50, a guys mindset will likely be similar. If they’re looking to explore, then that’s what they’ll do. If they’re not, they won’t.
As for the girl whose first experience was in a three some (per the article), it was alcohol infused. She did not say it was forced. That is a bigger issue - ensuring that you are sober and if you are drinking, then you have full control of your drink, opening it and not taking anything anyone is giving you.
Alcohol makes you lose control (as happened to her) and that’s part of the reason that happened - and happens on campuses each and every day.
I heard that some schools have a dating culture and other schools have a hookup culture. So if you are a dating kind of a person for the next four years, a hookup culture school will be the wrong fit for you. And vice versa. So it is not just a question of not participating in the dominant campus culture, whatever that is.
Sarah Lawrence already had a black mark in my book from the story of several years ago when they let a father move into his daughter’s on campus housing (it wasn’t a dorm, but a rental house) and he used and abused several of her roommates.
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I was thinking about that- couldn’t remember the story - but that’s it and it was Sarah Lawrence.
I was expecting that when I opened the article.
That was strange - and clearly his power of persuasion.
This was more just a study of schools dominant to one gender.
There are monogenous men and women and there are those who aren’t. While I understand the pressure to confirm, I would hope one would be as they desire.
Alcohol abuse seems to bring choices against ones choosing - and that’s my concern (for my daughter too).
This IS the old case from 2010, just wending its way through the courts now, 12 years later. I’m sure that Sarah Lawrence has tightened up access to the dorms. I wouldn’t decide against Sarah Lawrence for only this reason, regarding something that happened over a decade ago.
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I never considered sending my kids to SL, but this was a big enough reason for me to not recommend it to anyone. I thought SL’s conduct was very bad and they made no apologies. My kids were very young when they started college and I wouldn’t have wanted them in that environment. The school is not totally responsible for the actions of their students, but when you pay for them to live on campus, the school needs to have some control over the housing it offers.
When my daughter looked at Smith, they made it clear there were no rules about guests in the dorms/housing at all. That seemed to put too much pressure on 17-18 year olds to establish their right to NOT have a roommate have constant guests over. I didn’t like it and my daughter liked it even less, so Smith came off the list. At the time I was worried about other 18 year olds staying over, not 50 year old men running a sex cult out of the dorms.
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I don’t understand how this man was allowed to stay in the dorm? I hope the victims can sue the school, I am not sure if that is possible, but it seems like the school should have protected the students from this man.
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My older D went to a uni with a higher female ratio and complained to me on the regular about the attitudes of the male students who she came in contact with, thinking that they could get whatever females they wanted and treat them however they want (although I’m sure it wasn’t every male on campus who felt this way). It was something that she took notice of early on in her freshman year and was very skeptical of any male who showed interest.
This is the same case from 10 years ago. Not a new case. Sarah Lawrence has taken many steps to address the issue and the this is NOT typical of the culture on campus. I’m very familiar with the school and the campus. It’s an amazing place.
This. And, as someone stated in an earlier post, “The problems it describes aren’t unique to [Sarah Lawrence].”
I am closing this thread, as this is not a new story and the clickbait header is meant to shock and elicit hysteria rather than rationally discuss what has happened in the intervening time since the story broke. I am also editing the header.
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