<p>"... Sex and relationships are always tricky terrain for college students. Those arriving this year are finding schools awash in complaints and headlines about sexual assault and responding with programs aimed at changing campus culture that has been blamed for glorifying dorm-bed conquests, excusing rape and providing a safe haven for assailants." ...</p>
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<p>Um, no, that’s the point. You don’t deserve to have your bike stolen because you left it unlocked just like no one (regardless of gender) should be sexually assaulted because he/she drinks. </p>
<p>IMO, this was a terrible article for a lot of reasons. It reads like a conservative attack on survivors who dare to speak up. </p>
<p>“You don’t deserve to have your bike stolen because you left it unlocked just like no one (regardless of gender) should be sexually assaulted because he/she drinks.” </p>
<p>True, but it’s still stupid to leave your bike unlocked. I know I did and my bike got stolen. I was still a victim, however, someone whose bike was locked right next to mine did not have their bike stolen. You can extrapolate what you want from my experience. </p>
<p>The person who stole the bike is still a bike thief who should be held accountable for their actions. A random passerby of the bike rack is still expected to not steal a bicycle. If that is too much responsibility for someone walking past a bunch of bikes, stop walking past them. </p>
<p>I think you missed the point. He’s saying that the person who stole his bike is responsible and shouldn’t have done it and if caught should be punished, but he (the guy who didn’t lock up the bike) shouldn’t expect sympathy for doing a behavior that was risky. If you go out as woman drunk and dressed provocatively a lot of guys will try to take advantage because it will be hard getting people to believe it wasn’t consensual. </p>
<p>On another note, doesn’t anybody think it’s weird that as rape prevention programs start spreading, female students tend to dress even more provocatively and drink more heavily.</p>
<p>@arolihas I’m sure you’ll be the first to leave your car unlocked in downtown Jacksonville. Yeah not likely. Women have jumped on the bandwagon of having no responsibility and they would rather carry tasers then not get plastered drunk. Both sides have to accept their share of responsibility.</p>
<p>I was not dismissing Ivvcsf’s point. I was merely adding on the responsibility of the offender. I agree that both sides have to act responsibly for their own safety and well being. Maybe it is just a matter of personal opinion, but I will still give my sympathies to a rape victim even if they engaged in risky behavior. I understand your point though.</p>
<p>The hook-up culture has been terrible for young women, imo, and I’m glad if it is on the wane.</p>
<p>Wow. This is disturbing that people are blaming the victim. The bike example is a poor comparison. People see having a bike stolen as no big deal, however, being raped is a huge ordeal that often leaves life-long psychological scars. I personally would never get drunk at a party or encourage it because I know that there are rapists out there who prey on people who are inebriated, but the rapist and the victim by no means “share” the responsibility, regardless of how drunk or “provocatively dressed” the victim is. You may not be a rapist, but you are apart of rape culture if you believe that the rape victim is somewhat responsible aka asking for it.</p>
<p>This is the field that I work in. My entire summer has been dedicated to creating a comprehensive state-wide program to combat sexual assault among college students. Absolutely nothing anyone says surprises me anymore. I’ve become numb to the victim-blaming. </p>
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Yes. </p>
<p>This was a true story. It happened at a fraternity house I was a member of back in the late 1970’s. my point was that criminals normally take the least path of resistance. Most car that are stolen are unlocked and many even have the keys in the car, homes burgled often have windows open or doors unlocked. We may pine for a time where we can leave doors unlocked and walk with impunity anywhere we wish, however, the truth is very different. I think it is ill advised to create a situation that makes it easier for a criminal to victimize someone. It’s not blaming the victim it is being aware of the actions necessary to make it less likely that you will be one.</p>
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Yes. </p>
<p>While I don’t condone victim-blaming, women DO need to be careful. It’s NEVER a woman’s fault…EVER. It’s not her fault because she didn’t want to be raped. That’s why it’s called rape. </p>
<p>However, women should be careful, not because their actions cause rape, but because a woman who wants to avoid being raped should think with her head. I mean the logical side of her head, not the overly-feminist, But-I-Can-Do-Whatever-I-Want-Without-Being-Raped side of her head. Yes, in an ideal world, honey. But this is not an ideal world. So grow up, and start protecting yourself. Because that’s what it’s really all about. Protect others from rape AND protect yourself from rape. </p>
<p>If I am raped while I am at college, it will not be my fault, but I will still not drink, still not go to parties, still not be alone with someone I don’t know well/doesn’t respect boundaries, and still not walk alone on campus at odd hours in the morning. Because even though these actions are not “I want to be raped” signals, I would rather not take my chances. (Besides, none of those actions have anything to do with the real reason we go to college, which is to get an education.)</p>
<p>Sorry, rant over. 
It’s so hard to articulate the fine line between victim blaming and self-preservation.</p>
<p>One other thing I would point out is that it’s not guys you are expecting to behave when you say “we’re blaming the victim”. They already do. It’s criminals and sexual predators. That is what they are! Most young men mean no harm and will more than likely walk a drunk young lady home rather than take advantage of her. The criminal is looking for a victim. I left my bike unlocked many times while living at the frat house. Frankly it was just a pain to lock up and carry the lock with me. You may go to parties, get drunk, and have a great time many times before you become a potential victim. You are not trying to avoid young men you are trying to avoid becoming a victim of a criminal. </p>
<p>@hannegrazia
Nobody is saying they share responsibility for the rape. What I said is that the woman must accept that some actions make you a more appealing target for rapists and the choices she makes are what she’s responsible for. If you don’t like the bike comparison, I also made a comparison using a car which is a dramatic loss for most people. If you make yourself vulnerable to sexual predators then you are responsible for your actions even if you are not responsible for their actions.</p>
<p>@jimmyboy23: You’re exactly saying they share responsibility. When you say “don’t do this so you won’t be a target” you are absolutely telling women “you bear responsibility”. You’re telling them that, in the presence of certain stimuli, men are too weak to resist forcing sex on a woman.
And what you’re saying, by telling women “don’t drink at parties”, “don’t dress a certain way”, “don’t do…whatever” is, essentially, “Make sure the other girl gets raped instead”.
How about we all focus on teaching our sons that drunk =/= consent? Because it’s not the shadowy, scary Ted Bundy stranger who is the biggest danger to young women. That’s a straw man. The overwhelming majority of rapes are committed by someone she knows, and would normally have no reason not to trust.</p>
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<p>This, most of this thread is disgusting and shows exactly what the problem is.</p>
<p>There are sexual predators who cannot be “taught” not to rape. Sexual predators have the highest recidivist rate of all violent criminals. They do prey on easy victims. Teach ALL girls how to defend themselves. Teaching self defense includes identifying and avoiding risks. I highly recommend the book The Gift of Fear to all women.
And talking about teaching women to avoid risks is NOT blaming the victim. If it’s blaming anyone then its blaming authority figures, including parents, who think it’s ok NOT to educate children in basic survival skills. It’s like telling kids that they should go play in the snow without a coat. </p>
<p>Cautioning women is not blaming the victim. </p>
<p>If a woman was being risky and ended up getting raped, and someone said because you did not do A and B, you were raped. </p>
<p>That is victim blaming. That is putting the fault of someone else’s actions on the woman who took no deciding part. </p>
<p>Most colleges I know tell all incoming freshmen in pretty plain language not to engage in risky behavior, even beyond drinking. Like travel in groups, and call for a cab or call campus security in certain situations. You wouldn’t tell your son or daughter to walk alone at night through risky neighborhoods. We can all wish the world didn’t have armed robbers and murderers. But they exist, so we all make choices in our behaviors that minimize the risk of becoming victims to those crimes, and we teach our children to make the same choices. If they did it anyway, they are still the victim but you certainly would say, either out loud or to yourself, why in the world were you walking through that neighborhood alone at night? And you would be right to do so. Behavior has potential consequences. I also would think that those of you with daughters tell them not to get drunk at parties, and if they do to make sure they have a friend to watch out for them. Why tell them this if not to impart a sense of responsibility for their own behavior and keep them safe?</p>
<p>Of course we wish there were no boys that would take advantage of a drunk young woman. But the reality of the world is that getting drunk, by either boys or girls, leads to bad situations way too often, and the other reality is that for girls exponentially more than boys (the instances of male rape are very small by comparison) one of those possible consequences is being sexually assaulted. Of course the criminal is responsible, but that is small comfort for the woman who would have had a much better chance of avoiding the incident if she had been sober. Is that unfair that women have to operate under a different set of “rules” than men when it comes to this issue? Yes, it is. Who still thinks life is fair? It is absolutely wrong to put more responsibility on the woman when this happens. But it isn’t 100% either way. Putting yourself in a state of diminished capacity, especially severely diminished capacity which happens unfortunately too often, puts you at greater risk for many things, including assault.</p>
<p>IMO, some of you are overreacting by saying that stating this is “blaming the victim” or “putting equal responsibility on the woman”. No, it isn’t an equal share at all. But we hold drivers responsible for driving while drunk. They made a choice to drink to excess, they bear the responsibility for diminished judgement. In the case of assault, of course, there is another actor involved who, by the nature of their act, bears far more responsibility and exclusively bears the criminal responsibility. But like the driver, the decision to get drunk and not have the equivalent of a designated driver as part of the plan shows poor judgement going in. And last time I looked, showing good judgement is considered a responsibility.</p>