SAT Essay—Please grade/give advice

<p>So I timed myself and took the essay on this prompt:</p>

<p>Prompt
Think carefully about the issue presented in the following excerpt and the assignment below.
Whatever their goals—to be the best at something, to solve a difficult problem, to have a rewarding career—most people anticipate that reaching those goals will bring them contentment. When people are working toward a goal, they imagine that achieving it will bring an end to their struggles and put them at ease. But the opposite is more likely to occur. Rather than bringing contentment, achievement often brings dissatisfaction.</p>

<p>Assignment: Are people likely to be dissatisfied rather than content once they have achieved their goals? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.</p>

<p>ESSAY:
Although humans expect achievement to bring closure and contentment, it generally results in dissatisfaction and a sense of “unfinished business.” However, this dissatisfaction drives us towards bigger and greater accomplishments. If humans were immediately contented after success, then society would not and could not advance. Several examples from history and environmentalism provide pervasive evidence that the dissatisfaction resulting from achievement further drives us.</p>

<pre><code>The philosopher Voltaire’s constant struggle for free speech demonstrates how our achievements present us with further struggles and discontent. Voltaire spent his life advocating for freedom of speech and denouncing tyranny. His actions resulted in great struggles, as his constant clashes with powerful institutions were hazardous. One might have expected Voltaire to eventually rest his endeavors after the monument of his achievements became apparent, but nothing could be further from the truth. Voltaire was constantly faced with new challenges, and met them readily. For instance, when his messages finally began to impact the people of France, the king feared him as a potential threat and exiled him. However, he never stopped his endeavors, and despite his lack of closure and satisfaction with the state of personal freedoms, he defeated challenge after challenge sent his way. Voltaire’s constant struggles, in tandem with his monumental achievements, prove how achievement often brings dissatisfaction.

Just as Voltaire struggled politically, Julia Butterfly Hill has never ceased her environmental crusade. A devout environmentalist, she faced struggle after struggle from large corporations, who paid no heed to her pleas to protect the environment. Even after saving a forest from destruction by literally living in a tree for two years, she never stopped fighting against threats to nature. Julia Butterfly Hill certainly accomplished monumental feats; the acres of redwood trees still standing attest to that fact. Yet despite her success, she has never stopped her struggle to save the environment. Even though each day brings her a new challenge, she continues to achieve bigger and greater things for the world. She has never gained satisfaction with the environmental state of the world as she desires, but continues to struggle and fight back. Her fortitude and train of successes along with her inability to find environmental satisfaction prove that, although achievement does not bring satisfaction, it spurs us to do greater things.

A deliberate analysis of Julia Butterfly Hill and Voltaire demonstrates how achievement will rarely yield satisfaction. However, this dissatisfaction leads us to aim higher and for greater success. Dissatisfaction does indeed spur society, and the dissatisfaction from achievement will inevitably lead humanity to a bigger and greater future.
</code></pre>

<p>Now that you've read it...I had three examples ready but only had time to use two. This would have filled up all the space and possibly gone over—need to work on that. My time has been sloppy, I finished in 21 minutes. Although I've followed the "12 in 10 Days guide" and made a general template, I seem to not be able to physically write everything down quickly enough.
Nevertheless, if anyone could grade the above, give me advice on how to improve the essay itself or how to just budget time/write faster, I've be very grateful.
Thank you!</p>

<p>Any advice on this?</p>