SAT essay

Test Preparation
1

<p>Hi, could someone grade this SAT essay for me (scale of 1-6) :</p>

<p>Assignment: "If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. Don't complain." - Maya Angelou -</p>

<p>Do you agree with Maya Angelou that it's pointless to complain?</p>

<p>Response:</p>

<pre><code>Although I can be accused of complaining about things every now and then, at first glance I would tend to agree with Maya Angelou. However, I would not rule out complaining as an entirely negative action.
For example, if a child does not complain about an ailment, he or she may not receive the required medication, and this may lead to severe consequences. There is, after all, a difference between a complaint and incessant whingeing, the latter being both unnecessary and fruitless.
On other walks of life, when my cousin was a young child, he was a victim of intense bullying. Small and rather weak, he was defenseless. Afraid of being persecuted further, he never said a word to anyone and underwent this daily routine. Eventually, he made a complaint to the headmistress, via his parents. Needless to say, the problem ceased shortly afterwards. Hence, in this sort of case, it would be imprudent not to complain. Why undergo the pain and suffering when it can be changed by simple words?
The pointlessness of complaining therefore depends on the sense of the wod "complain". Complaining to local authorities about civil matters cannot be seen as unnecessary. These authorities exist for this purpose, after all. For example, my grandmother's house was looted last year and several important belongings, including an antique grandfather clock, were stolen. It was only after my grandfather complained to the local police that the perpetrator was caught and dealt with accordingly.
Therefore, I would disagree with Maya Angelou to quite a large extent. After all, it is the baby that cries that gets the milk.
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<p>P.S: Any comments or criticisms are welcome :)</p>

2

<p>excessive grandiloquence and improper use of vocabulary. your introduction and conclusion is undeveloped. There are also a lack of transitions, thus making your essay inconsistent and somewhat vague. I would give you a 2/6.</p>

<p>Try not to start a sentence with "for example", this isn't middle school. The conclusion is also crucial, so if you don't have one, then you're pretty much sacked.</p>

3

<p>i dont think your examples were strong enough.... my sat tutors suggested using at least one paragraph specifically referring to a novel or a play...the way i broke down my essays were always involving books/plays, history (this is where your american history kicks in =) ie.. revolutionary war = complaints or the black rights movement or any from the top of my head...) and then maybe a current event... only if you reallly cant think of anything; THEN use a personal example about your cousin or whatever (i dont particularly like these tho and they dont come across as strong as the other types of examples) hope this helps =)</p>