<p>bump for the may test!</p>
<p>Month/Year: 5/11</p>
<p>Score: 12</p>
<p>Prompt: Do limits contribute to a person’s happiness?</p>
<p>Length: 2 pages w/ tiny handwriting</p>
<p>Clarity/Quality: My second example wasn’t the clearest, but overall, pretty good </p>
<p>Vocab: I had a few really difficult words (ostensible, ubiquitous) and just used varied, medium-level vocab throughout the essay</p>
<p>Structure: Intro, 1st body about the Revolutionary War, 2nd about limits on Warren Buffet’s investments after the initial acquisition of Berkshire Hathaway, conclusion</p>
<p>Additional Comments: I completely made up the second example about Buffet’s investments, and personally did not think I deserved a 12. It was the length that brought it home, though. I filled up the entire two pages, writing as small as I could. </p>
<p>I think if you fill up both pages in small writing, without completely going off topic, you’re guaranteed a 10+</p>
<p>Month/Year: May 2011
Score: 10
Prompt: Do we work so hard at school/work that we aren’t creative enough during leisure time?
Length: 1.25 pages, average handwriting size
Clarity/Quality: Great writing but my examples were literally only 3 sentences lmao
Vocab: not ridiculously high, used maybe 5 SAT vocab words
Structure: 5 sentence intro, 1 body of logical argument, 1 small body of examples, conclusion offering insightful thought</p>
<p>Month/Year: May 2011
Score: 12
Prompt: leisure times effect on creativity
Length: 6 lines short of 2 pages, small-ish handwriting
Clarity/Quality: straightforward, clear
Vocab: simple vocab
Structure: intro, 3 body paragraphs, conclusion
Additional Comments: my examples were bad, but I made sure to constantly link it back to my thesis</p>
<p>Month/Year: January 2011
Score: 12
Prompt: Idealism vs Practicality
Length: Filled all 2 pages, average handwriting
Clarity/Quality: clear, to the point
Vocab: generally average vocab, with the occasional hint of grandiloquence
Structure: intro, 3 body paragraphs, conclusion
Additional Comments: Thesis was unique in that I didn’t explicitly choose one side, but rather explained how they have to work together in order to produce meaningful results</p>
<p>Would someone who got a 11/12 and has a good memory mind posting a more detail account of what they wrote? Like their specific ideas and examples and support, etc? </p>
<p>I would really love to see what kinds of organization and structure/content are appropriate for high scoring essays.</p>
<p>I got an 11 on my May essay and I basically followed the how to get a 12 essay in 10 days guide. The outline looked something like this (Prompt: Does working less make people more creative and therefore accomplish more …or something like that)</p>
<p>p.1 Since the dawn of time, mankind has been able to achieve a surfeit of success through handwork and dedication. There are few individuals, however, that still feel “working less” will ultimately prove to be more prosperous in up and coming situations. This notion can be easily refuted by two extraordinary men that have changed the way people see the term hard work. (Yes my opener was pretty bad, but it worked)</p>
<p>p.2 (I basically rant about Terry Fox for a good half page and talk about how even though he had cancer and had to get his leg removed, he still dedicated time and effort into his goals. You should google him if you don’t know who he is)</p>
<p>p.3 (Talked about Anthony Robles and how he dedicated so much effort into becoming a NCAA wrestling champion even though he was born with one leg. I also made up about 90% of the facts about him like his record and his high school name, and even put in a fake quote that went something like this: “I don’t feel like my missing leg is a disability. It has just been a motivating factor that has pushed me to work harder”</p>
<p>p.4 After careful analysis of Anthony Robles and Terry Fox, it is clear that handwork is, indeed, the prime factor in success. Had Terry and Anthony decided to “work less” and believed the misconception that less work pays off, the world would be devoid of two great stories, as well as two magnificent human beings.</p>
<p>let me see…if i recall,</p>
<p>Intro)
Opened with a quote from Gandhi about practical idealism… My thesis was that idealism and practicality are not more valuable than each other because they depend on one another. Idealism helps a person develop their passion/goal, but it can only be accomplished with a practical methodology to developing that end.</p>
<p>Paragraph 1) Idealism w/o practicality
Talked about Gatsby’s character in the Great Gatsby and how his hopeless romanticism led to his downfall</p>
<p>Paragraph 2) Practicality w/o idealism
Communism as a system seemed practical in that it would provide for everyone, but the ideals of democracy and the recognition of property rights were omitted, making the system undesirable</p>
<p>Paragraph 3) Combination of the two
The “Solution”- Gave an anecdote about how my mom had a dream to start her own business, which seemed improbable in an economy like this one, but she took practical steps to accomplish her goal</p>
<p>Conclusion)
Just kinda summed up what I had already said, nothing new, really.</p>
<p>Honestly, I didn’t think my second point was the strongest just because the example didn’t really support the topic sentence for that paragraph as well as the other ones. But i ended up with a 12 anyway, so I guess they bought it. Typically, I order my points as 2nd-strongest, weakest, and strongest to leave the best impression.</p>
<p>I got an 12 on my May essay. The outline looked something like this (Prompt: Is real success achieved by those who work on their own or those who work in groups?)</p>
<p>PARAGRAPH 1. When people hear about individuals who have accomplished something great by themselves, people worship them as geniuses. But somehow, when a group of individuals accomplish something great as a group, people tend to discount their achievements by saying, “They worked together, there was no one person who stood out; everyone can do something if they work with others”. I begin to challenge these notions with the following two examples,</p>
<p>PARAGRAPH 2. I used a made-up book by a made-up author. In the novel, a girl named Jenna tries to do everything herself because she doesn’t want to be seen as a weak person. She scoffs at those who work together, calling them weak and worthless. But by trying to do everything herself, she is often stressed trying to get good grades that her parents demand. One day she is extremely tired and she completes a school project carelessly. She hands the project in, and she gets a poor score. Her parents ostracize her, and beat her cruelly, until she chooses to commit suicide. Her last words are, ironically, “Only if someone had helped me in my hour of need” (I forgot if I actually wrote that; I wrote it in a practice essay I did a month ago). </p>
<p>PARAGRAPH 3. I talk about a made-up personal incident in which a new student, Henry, comes to my school. He insists on doing everything himself, not because he doesn’t want to be seen as weak like Jenna does, but because he simply doesn’t want to be a burden on anyone. He doesn’t want to make others do what he can do (so he thinks). But when my classmates and I see him stressing out over homework and school projects, we convince him to let us help. He ultimately decides to accept our help, and nowadays, through the help of each other, all of us are getting great grades, thus brightening our future.</p>
<p>PARAGRAPH 4. I talk about how Jenna and Henry demonstrate that real success is achieved by those who work together. Jenna was depressed because she refused help; Henry was initially depressed but because of a little persuasion, he makes his future brighter. I say that even though people tend to overlook the achievements of those who chose to work as a group, working together leads to real success. By working together, we can learn from our mistakes, learn from others what we do not know, and learn how to deal with group “chaos”; a situation in which the members fight over their ideas.</p>
<p>There you have it! What I wrote here might be different from what I actually wrote on the exam, but this was the format.</p>
<p>Month/Year:May 2011
Score:10
Prompt: Is real success achieved by those who work on their own or those who work in groups?
Length: Full 2-pages
Clarity/Quality: Fine
Vocab: General english. Didn’t use any fancy words.
Structure: 5 paragraphs. Intoduction, Example 1(history - about Prime Minister of India),Example 2(literary - Harry Potter),Example 3(imaginary - I think I messed this one up or I’d have scored 11 or 12),Conclusion.
Additional Comments: I didn’t write opposite views or anything. Just supported my point all the way.</p>
<p>Thanks guys that helps a lot.</p>
<p>So its a good idea to make each body paragraph an example and not an idea? </p>
<p>-intro
-p1 w/ lit example
-p2 w/ history example
-p3 w/ personal example
-conclusion </p>
<p>Thats a solid setup? I dont need each new paragraph to elaborate on a new point or idea?</p>
<p>Month/Year: March :2011
Score: 11
Prompt: Reality television.
Length: 2 pages.
Clarity/Quality: Personally, I thought my ideas were skewed and unorganized, unlike my May essay. However, this scored higher than my May essay.
Vocabulary: Uncharacteristically basic vocabulary. In fact, I did not use any extremely elevated vocabulary.
Structure: As per usual, I had a five paragraph essay:
1 par- thesis, three how-provens.</p>
<p>2 par- discussed Suzanne Collins’ The Hunger Games. A terrible opening paragraph in which I stated the novel was a satire on reality television, which it is not. Woo.</p>
<p>3 par- explained how the disclaimer presented at the beginning of each reality show expresses that they are in fact a danger to practical and realistic society. I totally faked my way through this paragraph, as with the previous. </p>
<p>4 par- made up a story about my crushed dreams of becoming a mainstream pop artist after watching American Idol (Blah, blah, blah. Lies.)</p>
<p>5 par- concluded, restated points (summarized), and ended with a “razzle-dazzle” final statement.</p>
<p>Additional comments: Overall, I thought this essay was poor. However, I will say that my points were developed, even though they were total lies. Also, my prose generally consists of long, complex sentences rather than just direct statements. These two probably contributed to my score- either that or they really have a heart for a child with a broken dream. ;)</p>
<p>Month/Year: May 2011
Score: 10
Prompt: Restrictions and limitations effect upon happiness of an individual.
Length: 2 pages exactly.
Clarity/Quality: My thoughts were well organized, developed, and extremely planned out.
Vocabulary: From what I remember, I remembered to include appropriate SAT words and educated vocabulary.
Structure: Same as last time- five paragraphs with a thesis, conclusion, and three how-provens. Breakdown:
1 par- thesis; position and three how-provens.</p>
<p>2 par- used Kate Chopin’s The Awakening. Women’s restrictions I’n society, the limitations as a minority in a widely Creole society, and the psychological impact they had that led to Edna’s eventual suicide. Extremely developed and explained.</p>
<p>3 par- discussed the American Revolution. Corrupt British rule, Proclamation of 1763, etc. Limits on the colonists that made them unhappy and led them to revolt. Not as developed, but nonetheless adequately structured.</p>
<p>4 par- made up a story about my mother and how her restrictions upon my life led to a break in our relationship due to my developed depression. Probably my weakest paragraph.</p>
<p>5 par- conclusion with a recap of my points and included global application with ties to society and how eventually all hold to the requirements set. Once again, another “razzle-dazzle” final statement.</p>
<p>Additional comments: This essay was, in my opinion, very well thought out and much better answered the prompt than my March essay. I quite enjoyed writing this essay, and left the room feeling quite confident about my essay.</p>
<p>Oh, and for some reason, I can’t edit my last post, but both my theses had a refutation at the beginning of the paragraph.</p>
<p>I’ll try to post my essay (when I get it on June 1) here for people to read.</p>
<p>Month/Year: May 2011
Score: 11
Prompt: Do rules and limitations contribute to a person’s happiness?
Length: 2 pages
Clarity/Quality: relatively clear
Vocab: used big words
Structure: Few sentence intro, 2 longer body paragraphs with examples, one sentence conclusion
Additional Comments: I think one reason for the 5 could be that my examples didn’t link back explicitly with my thesis, although they made sense. There was one part of the thesis that I probably could have referred to a little more clearly. My intro in general was of a little less quality than the rest. Examples were Brave New World and Catcher in the Rye.</p>
<p>Can type up and post if people are interested.</p>
<p>I got a 10… just use the 12 essay in 10 days guide… then again Im naturally born with good writing/grammar</p>
<p>Month/Year:December 2010, March 2011, May 2011
Score:11, 11, 10
Prompt: Is it possible to be a hero in the modern world?, Reality TV, Rules and limitations on happiness
Length: Full 2-pages
Clarity/Quality: Fine
Vocab: Mostly common English with some SAT vocab
Structure: Intro, 2 detailed examples, conclusion</p>
<p>I think it would help if those who have a copy of their essays could post it.
Here’s mine (the stats are on the previous page of this thread)</p>
<p>Page 1 [ImageShack®</a>; - Online Photo and Video Hosting](<a href=“http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/18/essay1.png/]ImageShack®”>ImageShack - Best place for all of your image hosting and image sharing needs)
2 [ImageShack®</a>; - Online Photo and Video Hosting](<a href=“http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/571/essay2.png/]ImageShack®”>ImageShack - Best place for all of your image hosting and image sharing needs)</p>
![http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/18/essay1.png/]ImageShack®](http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/18/essay1.png/%5DImageShack%C2%AE){kind=link}
![http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/571/essay2.png/]ImageShack®](http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/571/essay2.png/%5DImageShack%C2%AE){kind=link}
<p>Month/Year: March 2011
Score: 10
Prompt: Reality TV
Length: 1.5 pages
Clarity/Quality: well organized
Vocab: mediocre/ attempts at advanced vocab
Structure: 2 examples, 4 paragraphs
Additional Comments: i felt it was VERY …average. i had transition words, decent examples, and a good thesis. there were a few good vocab words and i made some good points. but i finished it knowing it was probably a 10 and not an 8 or 12.</p>
<p>Month/Year: June 2011
Score: 10
Prompt: People who have faced injustice at an early stage in life tend to make just and fair decisions in the future.
Length: Filled up both pages with moderate font size. I actually started off big but decreased the size because I came up with a lot to write.
Clarity/Quality: Precise and to the point. Write while imagining yourself as a reader. Nothing confusing at all.
Vocab: Extremely simple and basic. Nothing fancy except a couple of words in the whole text.
Structure: I followed the structure given by AcademicHacker. <a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/sat-preparation/645763-how-write-12-essay-just-10-days.html?highlight=get+a+12+in+10+days[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/sat-preparation/645763-how-write-12-essay-just-10-days.html?highlight=get+a+12+in+10+days</a>
Preparing a universal template is mighty useful and aids a direct and comfortable approach to the section.
Additional Comments:I would recommend anyone writing, to begin your essay as soon as you get the answer script. Do not waste time in thinking of the perfect example. Any reasonably popular example would do. And because you have a template already prepared , start with it so that as you go along , you come up with fillers for your first example. By the time you finish your first example, you should have a second one. Do not be afraid to make up certain details of said examples(dates,locations etc. can be made up) on your own. Improvise. Fill up both the pages , or write as much . Quantity does matter.
Btw, I gave 2 examples of which the second had liberal amounts of imaginary fillers. :)</p>