<p>10, represent!</p>
<p>Month/Year: June 2011
Score: 11
Prompt: Avhievements bring new challenges
Length: 2 pages
Clarity/Quality: highly organized, written like an AP essay
Vocab: used solid vocab with great transition words
Structure: 4 examples, 4 paragraphs
Additional Comments: I didn’t prepare for the SAT, but i managed to get an 11 since I know how to properly write an AP essay using solid vocab, organization and diction</p>
<p>Month/Year: June 2011
Score: 12
Prompt: Loyalty
Length: 2 pages, scrawling up the margins because I ran out of space.
Clarity/Quality: a la AP Lang, except I figured we’d have more than 2 pages so the ending wasn’t super organized
Vocab: Didn’t particularly pay attention to vocab.
Structure: 5 Examples, two paragraphs, one intro, a sentence for the conclusion attached to last body p (Passage to India, Huck Finn, Things They Carried, Gatsby, Chain of Command)
Additional Comments: Lucky I had just finished writing a huge essay for ap english the day before…I feel like it prepped me to write a 12 for the SAT.</p>
<p>Month/Year: June, 2011
Score: 10
Prompt: Do achievements lead to new challenges
Length: 2 full pages
Clarity/Quality: Clarity - pretty clear, a few complex sentences that didn’t flow very well. Quality was good - very solid ideas.
Vocab: Basic - medium. Only 1 or 2 sat vocab words, if that
Structure: 4 paragraphs - opening, example, example, closing
Additional Comments: Got a 10 probably because of good examples. Being more clear could have increased my score</p>
<p>Here’s an example (not a real test)
Month/Year: March 2011
Score: 11
Prompt: Photography
Length: 1.75 pages
Clarity/Quality<em>: Decently written
Vocab</em>: Sprinkled a few SAT words here and there in good context
Structure<em>: Very simple and direct sentence structure. 4 Paragraphs
Additional Comments</em>: I thought I got a 0 since the prompt threw me off. I used example A and B and it felt offtopic afterwards!</p>
<p>The starred portions involve some detail so feel free to write anything you feel can help the community!</p>
<p>Thank you for posting!</p>
<p>Month/Year: June, 2011
Score: 10
Prompt: Achievement brings new challenges
Length: exactly 2 pages
Clarity/Quality: Very clear, but a little bit repetitive
Vocab: I had some good SAT words in here, but i tended to repeat some of them.
Structure: introduction, 2 hefty body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Additional Comments: All of my friends claimed that they thought they had very good essays and got 8s and 7s… I though my essay was good, but not amazing, so i was expecting 7-8… i was pleasantly surprised to see that i got a 10…</p>
<p>Could people also post their MC scores as well? it would be interesting to see the correlation between MC scores and essay scores.</p>
<p>Month/Year: June 2011
Score: 10
Prompt: New accomplishments bring new challenges
Length: full two pages and a little extra
Clarity/Quality: okay I guess
Vocab: I threw a couple of SAT words in there not a lot though
Structure: 4 paragraphs: intro, example 1, example 2, conclusion
Additional Comments: I thought my examples were kinda weak lol and I felt I was a bit repetitive throughout the whole essay. I wrote the introduction last and it was full of BS</p>
<p>Month/Year: March 2011
Score: 10
Prompt: Reality Entertainment
Length: 1.75 pages
Clarity/Quality: Pretty clear
Vocab: Not much use of any complicated vocab
Structure: Intro, 2 Paragraphs w/ my view, 1 paragraph of acknowledgment, Conclusion
Additional Comments: I thought mine was pretty repetitive haha</p>
<p>Month/Year: June, 2011</p>
<p>Score: 10</p>
<p>Prompt: Do achievements lead to new challenges</p>
<p>Length: 2 full pages up until the last time.</p>
<p>Clarity/Quality: Clarity - Defined Thesis in first sentence Yes and why. Three examples. Second example was a little weak/poor description and no direct relation to thesis explaining it. Three examples were of same length. Conclusion was a little lacking, basically re-stated Thesis -.- Average handwriting, some words a little sloppy because I was writing so fast. Had solid transitions.</p>
<p>Vocab: Medium- Sprinkled some “ostensibly, senile, catalyst, anomaly and digress”</p>
<p>Structure: 5 paragraphs - opening, example, example, example, closing</p>
<p>Additional Comments: Got a 10 probably because of length and two strong examples along with some vocabulary. Being more clear on second example and conclusion and overall organization would have brought me to that 12. </p>
<p>To get a 10 is not really that hard, if you need help let me know!</p>
<p>Month/Year: 06/2011
Score:10
Prompt:achievement
Length: 2 pages
Clarity/Quality: 2 examples, they were atleast a page and half on their own(i explained them thoroughly), thesis was good. intro and conclusion sucked 
Vocab: normal vocab. only a couple of fancy words
Structure: intro. 2 body paragraphs and a 3-4 sentence conclusion
Additional Comments: honestly im pretty sure my examples paragraphs are the reason why i got a ten haha</p>
<p>06/11
Score:10
Length:2 pages
Clarity: 3 examples, however proctor messed up said we had 40 min then read top at 20 min. Took my time, had to write conlcusion in one minute no editing any part of essay!
Vocab very strong
Structure: five par
Prompt:achievment</p>
<p>Essay I wish I got 6 each score. Better luck next time, writing and reading has always been strongest for me</p>
<p>Month/Year: 06/2011
Score:12
Prompt: New accomplishments bring new challenges
Length: 2 pages(I wrote my last sentence in the small space at the bottom of the regular lines)
Clarity/Quality: 3 examples; two historical, one literary. My essay was pretty clear. I have to say, that I had thought of these examples before hand and that they turned out to be perfect for this particular prompt
Vocab: normal, a few big words
Structure: 5 paragraphs…including intro and conclusion
Additional Comments: MLK is applicable for almost any prompt</p>
<p>Month/Year: June 2011</p>
<p>Score: 12</p>
<p>Prompt: Do achievements lead to new challenges</p>
<p>Length: 2 pages</p>
<p>Clarity/Quality: It flowed pretty nicely, and each example was explained thoroughly enough. I stressed how each was connected to the thesis in one or two sentences in each paragraph. Varied sentence structure but everything was grammatically correct and easy to follow.</p>
<p>Vocab: Not too complex, a few sophisticated words added when appropriate. I usually write with consistently good vocabulary without putting in random words.</p>
<p>Structure: 2-3 lines for intro, 2 lines for conclusion, 3 body paragraphs on post-Civil War Reconstruction, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, and the Truman Doctrine. </p>
<p>Additional Comments: My first two paragraphs took up half a page each, and my Truman Doctrine paragraph took up about 3/4ths of a page. I was able to skim through my essay twice and insert/change a few words.</p>
<p>Month/Year: June 4th, 2011
Score: 11
Prompt: Achievement brings new challenges</p>
<p>Length: 2 pages </p>
<p>Clarity/Quality: Somewhat clear. I wasn’t very straightforward; I argued that achievement doesn’t necessary bring new challenges, but just removes a problem that subsequently unveils a pre-existing challenge. </p>
<p>Vocab: LOL. maybe one word? haha.</p>
<p>Structure: short little intro, body paragraphs, then a short BS conclusion.</p>
<p>Additional Comments: I took AP Lang&Comp before I took this SAT, and I just wrote this essay as I would an open-ended. I didn’t have a strict structure; rather, I wrote as I would have explained or talked about the issue with another person. I feel like that really helped it flow better.</p>
<p>Month/Year: June 4th, 2011
Score: 11
Prompt: Can’t remember exactly… something about whether those who suffer injustice become more just later in life…</p>
<p>Length: 2 full pages</p>
<p>Clarity/Quality: Argument was quite clear, though probably not worded too concisely or nicely. 3 literary examples, all pretty mundane really. </p>
<p>Vocab: I’m not big on big words, so I used small ones and I think I got a good score.</p>
<p>Structure: Fairly long intro, 3 solid paragraphs, 1 sentence conclusion.</p>
<p>Additional Comments: As long as you fill up two pages and are not BSing, you will get 10+.</p>
<p>month/year:june 4th 2011
SCORE:10
Prompt:do people who suffer from ınjustıce lead just lıves?
Length:2 full pages
Clarity/quality:pretty clear on my argument,used 3 examples,2 history one literature.maybe not the most compelling intro.
vocab:a couple of forced big words…lol…prob. why i didnt get higher than a 10
structure:quite a long intro two strong history examples articulately developed and a short literature example…short conclusion
ADDITIONAL INFO:two pages,stick to the prompt…10+is yours!</p>
<p>bump fellows</p>
<p>Month/Year: June 2011
Score: 10
Prompt: non-conformity
Length: 1.80 pages
Clarity/Quality<em>: pretty well written
Vocab</em>: overall fairly solid vocab, but only like 1 big sat word.
Structure<em>: 4 paragraphs(i think). opening, then 2 big body paragraphs, then conclusion
Additional Comments</em>: i thought i did rlly bad, guess not. </p>
<p>lessons ive learned: its not true that you need three examples. two rlly good examples are better than three. made-up stories WORK. make sure you connect your examples to the essay prompt very clearly and well. even if you love ur examples, if it doesnt fit perfectly with the prompt question, its not gonna do well; in other words, DONT STRETCH IT. </p>
<p>anyway, good luck to all of you</p>
<p>You be the judge:
This got a 12 and was a complete two pages.</p>
<p>People assume that every accomplishment–each step in what we call progress–will lead to the solution to a problem and will help them reach the goal of understanding themselves and the world around them. In reality, however, each new answer provokes additional questions and each fresh discovery uncovers further complications. Every accomplishment leads to further problems, added responsibilities, more complications, and new challenges.</p>
<p>ASSIGNMENT: Does every achievement bring with it new challenges? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.</p>
<p>My essay:</p>
<pre><code> Before the manifestations of achievement are discussed, it is important to describe what achievement is. Achievement can range from baby steps to ultimate realization and thus it is imperative to classify achievements in order to fully understand their capacity of producing challenges. In this essay, three types of achievements will be discussed, the fundamental ones: personal achievement, global achievement, and scientific achievement.
Personal achievement can most clearly be described as the subjective form of achievement; it can both produce and overcome challenges. Personal achievement tends to apply through the individual perspective and it is through this the distinctions come into play. Take for example gaining admission to a top caliber school. Yes, one’s dreams of attending his or her dream school has been accomplished, but new challenges come into play: the prospect of competing against hundreds to thousands of extremely well qualified individuals, the necessity of creating a definitive independence, the usually heavy cost. There are also examples that tend to embody accomplishment completely, such as winning an award of any kind. While there are always some exceptions, an award tends to represent one’s significance and contributions rather than create new challenges. Some may say that this achievement is double-handed in the sense it creates a need for responsibility, but I believe it is responsibility in the good sense: responsibility of setting a standard for people seeking to be in one’s footsteps. In conclusion, there are so many different types of personal achievement that it is almost impossible to describe a true representation of its challenge producing notion.
Globally political achievements are more usually the ones that produce an enduring challenge, simply because the world is never consistent. It teems with differing ideas from political universality all the way down to individual beliefs. What a global achievement is can be best described as tackling a problem that affects a variety of people. In Egypt, despite the accomplishment of overthrowing the tyrannical government, a power vacuum exists, sucking up optimism and changing this “accomplishment” to an “inconsistency”. Creating infrastructure in a particularly impoverished location creates the need of doing the same in other places, a seemingly behemoth task, yet without this need, this “accomplishment” would best be changed to a “double-standard”. Even in the state level, as in Texas, despite the soaring test scores by students, the economic downfalls looms sinisterly in the background, preventing meaningful changes from occurring in the educational system. These differing accomplishments are all tied by one universality: accomplishments can create obstacles.
The last form of achievement covered in this essay is scientific achievement, which occurs through two principles: through increasing potential and through overcoming obstacles. Examples of the overcoming science are incredibly rare, but true embodiments of the spirit of accomplishments. One example includes exterminating the smallpox epidemic ,which depleted millions of humans in the last centuries, through the use of mass-vaccination. While there are those that argue this aspect works the same way as the infrastructure example described above, it actually tends to meaningfully push other scientists and researchers to eradicate the epidemics of the modern era. It further sets a precedent of optimism that mass-extermination has and can work for diseases. Another argument that is pointed out is the vials of smallpox open to the hands of terrorism, but this in no way deals with the eradication of smallpox. The increasing potential form of achievement, which describes the increasing education of the human capacity is both a boon and a bane. It signifies the creation of new challenges as the burden of knowledge comes into play. For example, the revolutionary principle of quantum physics, an achievement in broadening the prospects of science, exists in stark contrast to general physics, creating the need of developing their reconciliation- a challenge of its own.
</code></pre>
<p>[ runs out of time and paper 
]</p>
<p>Month/Year: 6/11
Score: 10
Prompt: Achievements bring new challenges
Length: 1.75 pages
Clarity/Quality: very simple and straightforward; clear points.
Vocab: no fancy words!
Structure: 2 sentence intro, 3 body paragraphs of about same length: personal (obstacle course), literary (harry potter), and current events (BP oil spill).
Additional Comments: I didn’t finish my conclusion, it was like a run on sentence… I did reference back to the prompt a lot.</p>
<p>Month/Year: January 2011
Score: 12
Prompt: "Is it better for people to learn from others than to learn on their own? "
Length: 2 full pages</p>
<p>I’ll let you read my essay. I apologize for typos/continuity errors, I’m typing this quickly from my scanned essay :)</p>
<p>True enlightenment can only be achieved with the aid of positive influence and the wisdom of other more experienced professionals. What may seem esoteric to some is often evident to others and the ability to listen to and act on other’s ideas and teachings is key to success. As evidenced by the recent Congressional election in November, the mentorship of Keith Olbermann to his peers at MSNBC, and the knowledge that Candido and America Rinco shared with eachother in T.C. Boyle’s Tortilla Curtain, learning from others is far superior to learning independently.</p>
<p>In March of 2010, the Democratic Congress passed a historic healthcare reform bill entitled the “Affordable Healthcare for All Act”. The original bill in the House of Representatives included a public option, which Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid and Speaker Nancy Pelos–both experienced politicians–advocated for. The conservative Blue Dog Caucus, then, demanded that the public option be removed, ultimately weakening the bill. Elections soon came and the electorate felt as if the bill was too weak. While others thought it did too much, a combination of the conservative anger and liberal complacency resulted in historic losses in the election. Most Blue Dogs were voted out, as they chose to listen to angry, conservative groups, rather than listen and learn from their perpetually re-elected colleagues. For the Democrats, learning independently resulted in political and electoral disaster.</p>
<p>Joining MSNBC in 1998, political pundit Keith Olbermann eventually became the network’s highest rated TV show host. Although his tenure at MSNBC ended on January 21, 2011, Olbermann’s legacy remained evident. While hosting his show, Keith also served as a mentor to aspiring journalists, including Rachel Maddow and Lawrence O’Donnell, whose ratings now compete with the popular Fox News. Without Olbermann, Maddow and O’Donnell both claim it impossible that they would be hosting their own shows. In an interview with CNN, Maddow suggested that she would not longer be with MSNBC if not for the powerful mentorship of Keith Olbermann. Olbermann’s ability to conveny suggestions to Maddow and O’Donnel was key to their success.</p>
<p>In T.C. Boyle’s Tortilla Curtain, illegal immigrants Candido and America Rincon live stranded in a canyon by the San Fernando Valley, forced to bathe on the riverbed. Candido looked down on his supposedly-subservient wife until a serires of tragedies opened his eyes to her individuality and skill. She proceeded to teach him about ethics and raising a family, completely changing Candido’s once-negative outlook on life. Although their lives would both end in tragedy, America truly taught Candido what he was unable to learn on his own. Without her teaching, Candido would have likely remained arrogant and intolerant.</p>
<p>The gift of mentorship truly outweighs the experience of learning on one’s own. In this complex world, true knowledge is acquired through others, although many have yet to acknowledge that fact.</p>