<p>i ve written this essay just a few seconds back. plaese grade it out of /12 or /6 and give some advice oon how i can improve my essay writing. I m not a native speaker myself so i lack the flow i guess</p>
<p>prompt : Is the effort involved in pursuing any goal valuable even if the goal is not reached?</p>
<p>It is an unequivocal truth that it is not the end but the process that matters more.While some may call effort without success ' futile ' but the effort that a person has put in to get to goal is great in itself . The very act of trying hard teaches us a lot of vital lessons as seen in the examples of Hellen keller , Debbie Stier and Thomas Alva Edison.</p>
<p>One person that exemplifies this truth is Hellen Keller . Though both deaf and blind , she wanted to learn to speak and worked dedicatedly to achieve her goal. Hellen Keller had to face more difficulties as she was both deaf and blind as compared to other deaf people . Even her teacher Mrs Anne Sullivan just took it as an experiment and never actually believed that Helen would be able to realize her goal. Hellen Keller, however, did all that she could : feeling lip movements and the vibrations of the vocal chords and progressing meticulously word by word . Though at the end she wasn't able to speak as fluently as she dreamt of; her efforts themselves inspired and won the support of many people.</p>
<p>Take note of yet another example of Debbie Stier , a 40 year old mother of two teenage kids , who aimed to get a perfect score on the SAT. She took the test 7 timmes in 2011 and left no stone unturned in her preparation.She tried a lot of strategies each time she took a test and analyzed her mistakes. Though she could get 800 only in writing ,she had learnt a lot from her efforts and inspired many test takers, including me, to practice well for the test . Thus , the example of Debbie Stier illustrates that hardwork never goes waste.</p>
<p>To sum up ,the examples of Hellen Keller and Debbie Stier demonstrate that dedicated and persistent efforts never loose their worth , even if they fail to realize their ultimate goal.</p>
<p>As i finshed the last word the time got over , so i couldnt review what i have written during the test , so it does have a couple of grammatical errors</p>
<p>Your essay is not profound. You do not explain why the effort is more valuable than reaching the goal. You could’ve added a few more insights into the value of effort and work towards a goal. For example, you could’ve spoken about how the effort Hellen Keller invested gave her more pleasure and satisfaction and blind/deaf/disadvantaged people more inspiration to overcome their obstacles.
And, maybe not that important, but change your thesis to include only the two examples you wrote about.
“that hardwork never goes waste.” + other grammatical mistakes
8/12
That’s just my opinion.</p>
<p>Thank you for grading!! i do realize that i havent clearly mentioned why efforts are valuable , …I did write that Hellen Keller inspired many people but yes i think i should have been more specific . Thanks a lot for the tips … ill try to be more careful on grammar
:)</p>
<p>6-7/12 </p>
<p>Your thesis is not clearly defined. You do not answer why the effort is great, and there’s a lack of detail and analysis throughout the essay. Your evidence is relevant to the prompt, but it’s very hackneyed. Imagine yourself as the SAT grader, reading 100s of essays about Hellen Keller. What detail/analysis do you have that beats all those other essays? Try using unique interesting examples.</p>
<p>@ omnipotent24 thanks a lot for your advice . i do agree that hellen keller would be a common example but i couldnt think of nything else . could plz suggst me sum unique examples that i can use in sat essays</p>
<p>would you mind grading this essay that ive written today ? it isn t a lot better i think </p>
<p>It is quite a common view that an educated and well qualified person is likely to have more wisdom. On the contrary I believe that knowledge or educational qualification is not an essential criteria to be wise. What matters more is experience as the old adage goes ‘Experience is the best teacher’. To elucidate my perceptive I would like illustrate the examples of a tribal women in Punjer and the poem Frog and Nightingale by Vikram Seth .</p>
<p>Firstly , the words of a tribal women in India prove that wisdom is something that does not need education as a tool .Rita Gupta ,a sociologist, travelled to one of the remote tribal areas , Punjer in India to see the lives of tribal people from the grass roots level . There she came across a tribal women and through her translator , she introduced to the lady ,the modern currency : notes and coins which could purchase land and other resources .The lady however replied that we have no right to sell or buy land river forest as they all belong to nature and not us. She said that money has made man greedy. Who is more wise the tribal lady or educated and modern people like us?</p>
<p>Moreover the example of the poem the frog and the nightingale conspicuously shows that a person can easily won over an educated but foolish person.vikram seth in this allegorical poem potrays how worldly wise commercial people exploit the talent of the really capable but knaive artist. The frog who had a jarring voice ,was able to eliminate the nightingale though she had a sweeter voice, through his wise and shrewd plans. The sweet voice of the nightingale proved to be useless and the wise but untalented frog could successfully win against her . Hence it is wisdom but not knowledge that is more essential.</p>
<p>To sum up the examples of the tribal women and the poem ‘The frog and Nightingale’ demonstrate that knowledge does not actually lead to wisdom which depends more upon experience.</p>