I should have done something. You told me that you didn’t trust yourself. I should have invited myself over or called your mom or something. Ink before blades, please. Please.
I am trying to get out of my “I cannot do anything” mood, but it’s too hard. I want some time by myself somewhere very far away…
I wish you knew how much I love you, how much I think about you… and I wish you cared about me like that too.
Why does my iq drop by like 30 points when I’m around someone I like??
Fam, it terrifies me when you say that you’ll email and you don’t. Here’s hoping you told AC or your girlfriend something…
FUCK YOU
I should stop thinking about him, just because I want someone to look at me the way he does at her - with unabashed admiration, even though they no longer talk and she does not return his affections.
I should stop thinking about you, just because you’re happy - 2270!!! - and you’ve clearly moved on.
I should, but I can’t.
I dreamed about him last night - I was leaning over to put something in the trash, joking about how tough AP Chem was (okay, not a joke), he was sitting right next to the trash bag - and as I leaned over, I fell onto him, unable to keep my balance, but he gently pulled me down onto his lap to break my fall, and suddenly began to kiss me gently.
I don’t know why. I just, I should stop. I need to think about my future, and I need to learn how to love myself, and I need to stop getting so anxious whenever someone mentions leadership or volunteering or SAT scores or college - because even though I know what I want to do, I’ve never had enough faith that I was good enough to get there.
I need to believe in myself before I can let myself believe so wholeheartedly in someone else’s love.
My friends don’t truly care about me, I can’t connect. I just want someone I can connect with.
Please, please, please don’t tell people who are extremely sensitive that they’re just being dramatic, even if they are. Please, to some extent, help validate their feelings.
Screw you, Miles and Kerry. punches wall
EVERYTHING.
I’m probably going to fail Studio, I pissed off my crush, and I can’t wait to leave high school, where I won’t have to deal with my possibly abusive parents, and be able to have an actual meaningful conversation with someone who knows about the Flint water crisis - I’m sorry that you don’t care about hundreds of minority children getting tested for lead levels in their blood on Family Fun night, but just because we’re in another state, doesn’t give you a right to not care - you’re in DEBATE. Politics and public speaking, social justice is WHAT MATTERS. WHY ARE YOU IN PF DEBATE IF YOU DON’T CARE ABOUT WHAT MAKES NATIONAL HEADLINES?
I might be broke if my dad won’t pay for summer courses online, and I have no motivation to do my Studio and Euro homework, not to mention my other classes, which means my GPA sucks and I likely won’t make it past the initial county round for the Humanities Governors School. Oh, and while I’m not suicidal anymore, I still want to die. Really, at this point my only ways out of this terrible college town, away from my bullies, the ‘friend’ that laughed when I got called a racial slur, the other ‘friend’ who thinks Katy Perry culturally appropriating everything and displaying her white supremacy in music videos is cool, the fake people I call friends since they’re still better than everyone else, and the asshole that sexually harassed me, is either college or death. Really, Stanford is the better option for me solely because I can rub it in everyone else’s face during out high school reunion 12 years later when I’m making a shitton of money as an environmental engineering lawyer and business owner with a JD/MeM and MBA from Yale and Harvard. I’m willing to go through to more years of hell in order to have that over those assholes.
Also, I know we aren’t supposed to reply to other posts, but I hope awesomepolyglot above me is referring to the Roosterteeth employees Miles Luna and Kerrry forgot-his-last-name. Love them.
Still not supposed to, but yes, Miles Luna and Kerry “Dream Crusher” Shawcross. Evil little men. punches wall again mourns Pyrrha’s death punches wall yet again and cries
What’s your problem bro? You tell me that this class rank thing doesn’t matter to you yet go around telling people – behind my back – about your fullproof plan to sabotage me if I end up being valedictorian. Thought we were at least on track to become acquaintances but, hey, honesty is hard to come by nowadays.
I literally don’t care about school anymore. My gpa is shtty and so is my sat. I don’t even want to go to college anymore. My parents can’t afford it and they won’t want to cosign loans. My sister is getting full rides everywhere, can she please save me one???
Hey, me from freshman/sophomore year. Stop comparing yourself to others. You’ll be a lot happier.
punches wall again
Why does it matter what people think of me when I have short hair or long?
Why am I pursuing the approval of people for such a superficial feature, approval that doesn’t necessarily mean that much in the long run?
UGH.
At least the Hamilton cast is on the Grammys.
3 outcomes for tomorrow: one good but sad, one dangerous, one screw-you-up-for-life. Hoping for the first.
I feel like I have to trade off between staying healthy and fit and getting good grades
There is literally not enough time to spare for both.
I’m sorry but I hate the obsession with sports at school. It’s ruined my high school experience. They worship the athletes and breed this idea that if you’re not playing a sport then you’re worthless. We have books that are 15 years old, they hire cheap, inexperienced teachers to teach AP, our roof is literally crumbling above our heads, but GOD FORBID that the football doesn’t get a new uniform every year. I mean what could POSSIBLY go wrong.
Also, why have we allowed College Board to monopolize the education of this entire country? “Non-profit” my BUTT. Why do we have to PAY to ask for money on CSS? We’re applying because we NEED money… it’s just counter-productive that we actually have to pay more money. I hate College Board and it is my life’s mission to close them down.
I have more but I’m just going to stop there lol 