Say it here cause you can't say it directly- the get it off your chest thread (Part 1)

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1001

<p>To my Mother-in-Law who has demanded every holiday from us:</p>

<p>--I get that it fills your heart with joy to look around your table and see your children's faces, why don't you get that I want the same thing? I have eaten Christmas eve dinner at your table for 25 years, and I look around and see YOUR children's faces. My children are in the other room. And your children are jerks, and they married jerks. None of us even likes each other. We never speak in between these birthdays and holidays. We are not in each other's lives. Your children may love each other, but they don't like each other.</p>

<p>--I don't care anymore how much you pout. You've been too greedy and demanding of our time and you've gotten in the way of us building our own family traditions. You've done nothing to encourage your children to have strong families of their own, in fact you still just think we're all an extension of your family. wrong. If I was concerned with your pouting, I'd still be spending every mother's day cooking a meal for 26 people. I was a chump to even do it once. How self-involved can you be that you'd let your daughter-in-laws do this for you when they had babies on their hips? You don't like going out to restaurants for family gatherings because it's not intimate--guess what? Your family gatherings aren't intimate either. My 9 year old son still gets two of his aunts confused, even though they don't look alike, because neither one ever bothers to speak to him.</p>

<p>--My kids have nothing in common with most of their cousins. My freshman s will not have much to discuss with his college age cousins. He is living in an honor's community and has an academic scholarship to maintain, so he is not spending his weekends puking out the sorority/fraternity window. They know this. They think he's weird. They think he's a hippie/nerd. He is. We are. And we're happy that way. Your other grandchildren are close-minded snobs who aren't interested in talking to someone who isn't wearing Abercrombie. They're also dumber than dirt.</p>

<p>--You've been completely inflexible about these celebrations, so there isn't any room for compromise. You painted yourself into a corner. If you had been willing to do so, then I'd have tried to create something workable for both of us, but you're not, so we're off the bus. </p>

<p>--You're also a hypocrite. All these years you've demanded Christmas Eve. Can you really not look and see that at some point, your own family stopped spending Christmas Eve with your siblings? You started being home with your own family. Why were you allowed to do this, and we are not? At some point, as your children grew older, you made the extended family gatherings on other weekends, at varying locations. Why was that allowed to evolve and your own family is not? </p>

<p>--I might feel differently about this if you had some sort of emotional bond with your son. You want us all there to make you feel like you're having a Currier-and-Ives Christmas, but there is no substance underneath. There is no genuine warmth or caring. It's all for show. It's completely superficial. </p>

<p>If you're still reading, then thanks! I feel much better!</p>

1002

<p>To my DS - you are causing the GF you left behind pain. Either work at the relationship or break it off. Don't just "fade away" on her. You told me you loved her a couple weeks ago and I warned you about the emotional consequences of sleeping together.</p>

<p>I don't know what is going on with you, but you were not raised to treat anyone like this. Be a man.</p>

1003

<p>Dear boss,</p>

<p>Stop micromanaging how I do things. Stop looking over my shoulder every five minutes. Stop interrupting my breaks. Let me have a few inches-- I won't take an ell.</p>

1004

<p>To my fellow Gym members:</p>

<p>Don't pretend that you don't sweat and that your perspiration is 100% germs free. Bring a $1.50 towel from Target and wipe off that damn liquid from machines.</p>

<p>And learn to flush.</p>

1005

<p>To the parents of my D's "best friend".</p>

<p>My D was so excited when you invited her to Thanksgiving at your vacation house. Since my D goes across the country to school it was a perfect solution, she got to see her best friend and she didn't have to worry about what to do for Thanksgiving. You even told me that to get to your vacation home you went right by her school and would pick her up.</p>

<p>To call her the week before Thankgiving and tell her that you can't possibly pick her up, that you don't go within a 100 miles of her school. And then to tell her that she could take a bus to a city that she's never been to and then to take a train to your vacation home is so unforgivable that I can't even imagine it. Would you let your freshman D do this, NO!</p>

<p>My D called your D numerous times to make sure that you still had plans to pick her up and take her for the holiday. To do it now, instead of months ago, you promised me that you would take care of her in August, I just can't put my head around it. She could have found plans to go home with a friend but it's a little late now. Her boyfriend is going to drive to her school and pick her up and then I'm going to take her back to school, we all have to take time off of work to do this and my D is devastated that someone who she thought loved her would do this to her.</p>

<p>Well we now know where we fit into your life and won't bother you again. Thanks again.</p>

1006

<p>Dear Sister,</p>

<p>You told me not to send cards or letters or contact our Mom who had Alzheimer's as they were too confusing for her. You told me this was the nursing home's staff suggestion.</p>

<p>You had the nursing home staff return all my cards, letters and refuse my phone calls. </p>

<p>At the time you did this you never told me Mom was seriously ill. In fact you never told me when she died a few weeks later.</p>

<p>I found out she had died when the attorney sent distribution documents for her estate that I needed to sign.</p>

<p>I did what you wanted me to. I persuaded mom to sign a power of attorney naming you as you lived the closest to her. You asked me to do so as Mom trusted me more than anyone else.</p>

<p>So, you took that power of attorney, eventually selling her house and moving her into a nursing home. </p>

<p>And you paid yourself to manage Mom's affairs. And you gave another sister all of mom's cherished possessions that she sold on Ebay.</p>

<p>Just as our Mom had nothing to remember her Mom I have nothing to remember our Mom except my memories. Mom didn't even have that as she was a baby when her Mom died.</p>

<p>I don't understand why you hate me so much.</p>

1007

<p>To all the parents of my D's classmates who made sneering, rude comments about my D taking a gap year:
No, she is not a slacker.
No, she is not a drop out.
No, she is not taking a year off because her grades were too low to get into college; she has an A average and her SATs were great.
No, she is not "taking a mulligan" on a bad college acceptances...she got into plenty of schools, thank you very much
No, taking this performing job is not going to gaurantee that she is going to end up some wanna-be actress, poor and desperate living on the street in NYC (an actual question from a dad).
No, I am not concerned that she is "running wild so far from home". Based on your kid's Facebook, she's running far more wild at State U than my daughter ever thought of.
No, she has not "run away from home" (another actual comment from a parent)-- in fact she auditioned for this role with several thousand other women, worldwide, and was chosen to move to China all expenses paid.
No, schools are not going to view her as unmotivated or uncommitted to academics because she took a year off to live overseas and work full time -- based on her college adcom interviews, quite the opposite.</p>

<p>Yes, she is coming home. Yes, she will start college in August. Yes, she's learning Cantonese. Yes, she now has close friends from 6 continents. Yes, the Company has made her very lucrative offers to stay but she turned them down for college in the fall. Yes, she will have an amazing professional resume when she gets back. Yes, she will have ex-pat experience with a Global Fortune 50 company....at 18 years old. Yes, I am proud of her for her strength, independence, initiative, and oh, yeah, the $45,000 she will have in her bank account when she comes home.</p>

1008

<p>to "To certain Asian parents: For years, you've been trying to discourage your kid from associating with my kid -- just because she isn't Asian"</p>

<p>For the parents of the the Asian kids who teach their kids to be spectacularly racist. </p>

<p>To the only other girl in my (white) daughter's AP Calc class who would not even say hello - for the entire year.</p>

<p>To the 9 Asian boys in my D's AP Chem class.</p>

<p>Welcome to America - the land of opportunity for all. Your welcome, but the screamingly racist social attitude exhibited by Asian students shows that you are not getting with the program. We don't discriminate against you - so don't discriminate socially against the white kids who are just as motivated and hard working your kids. If they weren't equally qualified, they wouldn't be in the class.</p>

1009

<p>In support of "to the teachers who said academic 'doors are closed' to my son when he was 10"</p>

<p>To the teacher who wanted to put my non-reading first grader in special Ed: by 6th grade she earned a SAT 1100 and goes to CTY nerd camps. Calc at and AP CHEM at age 16. Not all kids develop on your schedule.</p>

1010

<p>DS,
it really hurt to hear you say you didn't know when you are coming home for thanksgiving. I guess you don't read my emails reminding you of your reservation on southwest. its only 3 days away. I've been counting the days. and even though I've been asking about when you want to come home for winter break, I get no response. maybe it means you don't want to come home for winter break. and if that's the case, just tell me. if its because you're too lazy to look at your schedule...well, grow up.<br>
And you know what, I'm tired of hearing how hard school is when you won't ask professors or other students for help. I can't do anything to help you. And yes, I understand its hard, but grow up and go and get yourself help. You have so much potential and sometimes I think you're just tossing it all away.<br>
I guess I'll head over to SA for a drink. I'm crying too much about all of this.</p>

1011

<p>Dear Mr. Lead Foot: the brakes on "my" van were still in great shape @90K miles on the odometer when you traded it in for "your" new van. And now "your" van needs brake work with only 55K miles on its odometer? Arrrgh!</p>

1012

<p>Dear English Teacher - I know it's Honors, but it's 11th grade - not the college composition class you used to teach at that elite LAC. You do understand that these kids have 5 other classes? And EC's? My D has spent the last 2 days working on this stupid 2 page paper, and it's 11:30 pm, and she's in her room in tears re-writing it because it "sucks." It's not the best paper I've ever read, I'd give it a B, but based on your grading she'll be lucky to get a C. Your harsh grading on that ridiculous first paper of the term (writing about the nature of truth for the first paper of the year???) has convinced her that she can't write, and she's lost all confidence. And the massive points off for formatting? This is a new computer, it has Vista, and none of us is really sure how Word works in Vista. So you'd better not take any points off for the white-out to remove random lines that appeared and none of us can figure out how to get rid of them.</p>

<p>We went to conferences tonight. 4 teachers told us D is a delight and has a great work ethic. You looked at us and said, "She needs to stay after with me, and put more time into her work." Well, 10 hours on a 2 page paper is plenty of work, in my book.</p>

<p>An in-class essay, a take-home essay, AND an in-class test, all for one book? And all the kids say they didn't have time to finish the in-class test?</p>

<p>Thanks for the extra stress. We all really need it.</p>

1013

<p>Ok, so you all decided I had to start the new job as soon as possible. No, it couldn't wait another week, you said, we need ASAP, we need you to start on the 24th. Fine, ok. So now I've started the new job, the same week the trainer is occupied training existing staff for a new program being rolled out next week and there is no one available to give my induction training. Couldn't I just have started next week when the trainer will be available instead of spending this week reading manuals about software I don't yet have access to? Not a great start, I have to say.</p>

1014

<p>To all the snobs in the world, especially in my external family:</p>

<p>Nothing you do or say matters to me anymore. Not even the looks you give me for attending the so-called crappy third-tier state college that nobody from outside of Long Island has ever heard of matters at all, to anyone except your fellow snobs. So you can give me that supposedly dreadful "Oh" response or shift your eyes elsewhere because all I'll do is laugh because it is you who are the real losers.</p>

<p>This is part of the reason, I nor anyone else in my household is attending Aunt N.'s Thanksgiving dinner. Yes Aunt N., my Mom was telling the truth when she said she did not want to go because she has to work tomorrow but one of the harsh realities is that we do not want to drive through NYC and New Jersey traffic just to see your stuck up faces looking down on all of us. You just want someone there to boost your egos (Admit it, that is the only reason you're inviting my grandma) and just to be nice (We don't need your goddamn charity). Sorry, we're not going to fulfill such a request.</p>

<p>At least I know I will graduate from college, not owning a cent.
Take notes, fools: My cousin from my Dad's side of the family is now living in an small apartment with his parents because he has to pay back loans from Harvard and Yale law. At least he's taking it in stride, I don't know what you fickle losers would do in that situation. BTW, didn't one of my cousins drop out of Princeton because you couldn't afford it, so-called millionaire Aunt T.?</p>

<p>I am not interested in becoming a doctor or a lawyer. I'm not even going to grad school and I am perfectly OK with that. I am currently a liberal arts major that is transferring to communications next year. Yes, communications the mickey-mouse major. I will be successful because it is not about the college, it is about what you do with yourself, the networks you make, the opportunities you get and the experiences you have. </p>

<p>I will be fine. No matter how you feel about me. </p>

<p>Oh, Happy Thanksgiving! I still love all of my family unconditionally! Seriously! :)</p>

1015

<p>Hey coach,
I am 19 years old and will probably never adjust to the culture of this sport. I joined for the fun, the exercise, and the challenge of learning something new. However, I am already a formed individual and will not internalize your national values or anything like that. I just think less of you as a person when you make us do push-ups in the hotel parking lot before a tournament as punishment for something inconsequential (and in 35 degrees weather, to boot).</p>

1016

<p>Hey Gwathmey!</p>

<p>Is there anyone alive on this floor?</p>

<p>I haven't talked to another student for 24 hours!!</p>

1017

<p>To my shy son's Spanish teacher: Please stop expecting him to be your class leader. Yes, he was more animated when you had him in class 2 years ago. As I explained a couple weeks ago, he is SHY ... the kids in that class drew him out, he did not draw THEM out. This class is different. Why do you continue to expect my son to talk MORE than anyone else? I really don't think dropping his grade a full letter grade just because he isn't talking as much as you want is fair. You told me that he does participate. How is it fair to hold him to a higher standard based on your personal view of what he "should" be like?</p>

<p>And to my son's totally useless counselor: If you had bothered to talk to my son even ONCE in the past 2-1/2 years, maybe he could come talk to you about this situation.</p>

<p>I hate high school.</p>

1018

<p>DS:</p>

<p>I know you are cheating on the GF you left behind at home. I know breaking up can be difficult, especially with all that is going on in her life right now. But not telling her is not the answer. Fading away is not the answer. I told you this and your response was "I don't want to talk about it".</p>

<p>Be a man. You are losing my respect.</p>

1019

<p>I really don't understand what is up with you. The good news is I've quit letting it get to me.</p>

1020

<p>From now on I'm going to stop caring about what all of you think. Since I can't get it right, I won't even bother. Too bad for every single one of you.</p>