How about Wolves? (Not contesting the point that women have it harder, just pointing out a hopeful sign.)
A glimmer of hope perhaps…my D, who besides being a MT performer, also writes/composes musicals, is working on writing/composing an original musical that centers on women, and has a commission from a Tony winning Broadway producer. Hopefully, it will see a NY stage one day. 
It’s comforting to know there are others who share my concerns. As an honor student in MT, my daughter doesn’t have time to pursue a minor. Her days are filled and when in a show, it becomes even more hectic. I know things work out in the end. At least I know that others have similar concerns for their daughters in particular.
My D is going to be a freshman MT major in just a few weeks. I’ve had talks with my daughter about something we have discussed here on CC- creating your own stories and material when you graduate, so she picked a program with a Bachelor of Music in MT instead of a BFA. That way, she learns to write music and play the piano. She also picked a school where she will have zero debt when she graduates, making it a little easier when she goes to NYC. And…she has a backup plan- she is great with makeup and plans to get into stage makeup too. If it really doesn’t work out, she has a true backup plan- hubby/dad makes commercials and can get her into makeup for commercials and movies (they make great $!!). I think it is really important to prepare your kids for the harsh reality of this profession: judgments about attractiveness & weight, lack of roles for females, “casting couch” problems, a potentially chaotic schedule, and especially how poor they will be in the beginning. Sounds like I am bummer mom, but she appreciates it and knows I am 100% behind her.
As a mom of a D who is just entering her freshman year for theatre performance, I worry about her future as well. I can say I am very happy she is going into a BA program, as i feel she will have a more well rounded background. She always had a plan B, which was Arts Administration - and while she won’t be learning specific business skills in the MT program, I feel she will learn a lot of skills should she want to transition into something else. Worry, yes, but I feel like she has to also follow her path - if she followed my path for her she would be studying international business or finance! I have raised my D to be a responsible adult, and at the end of the day, she is going to have to figure out IF and HOW she can survive in NYC - or any other city, cruise ship or regional theatre she can make money at. MT kids learn a LOT of very, very valuable skills - and I have no doubt that they can figure out within a few years if they can make a living on the stage.
@MTMommma - I think our daughters might be studying together this fall:) My D picked her school for similar reasons you mentioned. I think she will receive a fantastic MT (music) education and graduate debt free. The future is so unsure but she is excited about this first step. Hard to believe we have one week until dorm check-ins!
Mean Girls is probably going to be a big, big hit with a long run and road shows eventually, and that’s loaded with girl roles.
My daughter chose a BA over a BFA because she wanted a broader theatre background. When she isn’t auditioning as an actor she has found the love of Stage Managing and Directing. This summer she was not able to audition for any acting roles but ended up getting a paying gig at a theatre as a stage manager and board op. She will be $1000 richer for a few weeks of work this summer in a career she is passionate about. No plan B for her, but she has skills that she can use in the theatre realm while she is auditioning for acting jobs. She feels she has the best of all worlds. 
I know she will need my help as she begins her journey in the real world, but I have every confidence that she will succeed due to her drive and ambition. Most of our kids will be successful in some fashion. Hang in there and trust their instincts. <3
It’s interesting having a kid in NYC and seeing said kid’s friends from many different programs struggling to make it. What has surprised me the most is the kids that are booking work (in and out of the city) aren’t necessarily the kids that got all the roles in college. Being uber-talented does not necessarily equal success in the real world. Of course they have to be talented, but the kids who are making progress are the kids who are hustling when it comes to the audition-game.
You would think that once a person lands in the city they’d be out there getting up early for auditions, submitting themselves for appointments (with and without an agent), but many just don’t. How are you going to book a gig if you don’t audition? Many start with guns a-blazing, but seem to fizzle out. It’s tough for sure, but it seems, from my perspective, many very talented kids are not booking work in part because of this.
This is where the drive that the OP mentioned comes in. The kids I see succeeding (getting callbacks - and callbacks are GOOD - and booking work) are ones with tenacity, drive, organizational skills, and just plain old moxy. The other trait that is prevalent of these kids is that they are resilient; it’s hard on your ego to have the constant rejection (as you can imagine) and figuring out how to pick themselves up and carry on is huge. Having a strong support system and interests outside of auditioning help too.
So, if your kid struggles in college, and learns to overcome those obstacles, consider it a good thing because it’s preparing them for life post college. Hard work and a little bit of luck are a potent combo.
Frozen has girls parts/leads and will be moving to Broadway later this year. And Mean Girls as well (mentioned above). Both brand new musicals that are highly anticipated.
Replace the word “many” with “most” and that’s just about right. The thing is the number left over after that is still a long list for few opportunities that one may or may not be right for. (Even if you would KILL it if cast.) Right = the vision in the moment.
My daughter has worked steadily for pay in acting gigs since graduating just over a year ago. Took a whole bunch of gigs in the past year that others would think were beneath them (TYA tours etc) while they instead did survival jobs (or were supported) while being sent in to various fabulous things by their agents that they felt were not beneath them. If that gamble had worked out for them… WINNING. But with very few exceptions, it doesn’t work out like that. Landing a fabulous agent from a showcase and then nothing… can drive that reality home - eventually.
I think my kid is the tortoise and not the hare. She has been steadily employed and frankly everything she booked was from a competitive NYC audition that some of these kids were at too once they realized… oh sh_t… this is hard and I better branch out. Alternatively, staying in bed until late and hoping the audition fairy makes everything right as described accurately in the quote above is a bad plan (but a common one)…The audition fairy will indeed land for some of them but for most, she’ll take a pass.
So to the OP, it’s a fair thing to be worried about. But in reality, it’s not that different than many other fields. Nothing in this field will make things easy. But neither is majoring in History or Biology or …
You have to into this business with your eyes wide open for sure. I just keep hoping there will be a back up plan. My D is just a sophomore and has to take a heavy load of gen eds too so maybe something else will interest her along with MT. The other thing is that after graduation, there are other big cities where there may be more opportunities to break into the business. My D loves NYC, but maybe that’s not where she’ll start.
One of my favorite stories on this board was from a dad whose daughter had graduated MT a few years earlier. She had become a certified fitness instructor as her “survival job” while auditioning, and was leading spinning classes as well as working one-on-one with clients. She really enjoyed being a fitness instructor as well as doing MT. As it turned out, her fitness career took off SO much that eventually she had to make a choice, because she didn’t have enough time to devote to both pursuits fully. Since she enjoyed fitness just as much as performing, and she was becoming super-successful in that (and making lots of money as well!), she decided to put performing on the back burner and focus on her fitness career.
I thought that was an AWESOME story! You don’t know where life will lead you, and if something else comes along and you decide to put performing aside temporarily or permanently, that doesn’t mean you “failed” in any way.
I think you have to go into this field with your eyes open as there are a zillion talented people who are all vying for th same limited opportunities. After six years since graduating college my daughter has a full time job in theatre management and this past Thanksgiving celebrated her first paid holiday since graduating in 2010. Several of her friends have left the field although many keep at it. What is a challenge regarding auditions is that you can arrive for sign-it at 8 AM and not be seen until you are called following lunch break in the afternoon or at 10 PM. That only works if you have a flexible day job or someone is supporting you and you don’t need a day job to support yourself, even if only partially able to support yourself. After you have spent an entire day and get called in to audition, sometimes you find out that they are only auditioning tall redheads at that point but you are a short blonde and so already out of luck. Sometimes you get a gig only to have it not pan out… male lead gets cast in a better gig and they don’t have time to re-audition so the project gets put on the back burner. My d had the frustrating experience of arriving for audition sign-in at 7:30 AM and then having to leave for nursery school pick-up when she was a nanny as not seen before lunch break and then couldn’t come back for the after-lunch call or arriving for evening auditions when you need to sign-in by 5:30 and arriving thanks to NYC subway at 5:32 as you can’t leave your nanny job until the parents come home. You need to develop a back-up plans and for some of my daughters friends these plans include being a nanny, teaching yoga or pilates, bartending, lifeguarding, waiting tables, being a task rabbit, doing data entry, office temping, etc, etc. My d has taught yoga in an after-school charter school where she also proctored exams in the morning, taught children’s movement and music classes, worked children’s birthday parties as an entertainer and helper, worked part-time as administrative assistant/marketing for art/theatre community center and so on, she’s been a script reader and is in process of finishing her voice over acting demo. She has coached several for both college and high school admission to arts programs and has also worked for a company that hires actors to stand around at gala charity events and help people with entering bids for silent auction, check-in and so on. That is seasonal as for the most part gala charity events are held in the spring and fall. The pay is good as is sometimes the leftover swag bags that are given and usually a good meal as sometimes these are many hours and held at fancy mansions and country clubs. Also you have to have a supply of black dresses to wear for these gigs.
She has her own theatre company as well that just celebrated their fifth season (she pays the actors approximately $100 for their run of 10 performances). She has also had gigs that have paid $20 a performance, gigs with no compensation but a metro card and many pizza dinners for a month run off-broadway of six performances a week, gigs in churches, warehouses, 14th ST Y (nice theater) and so on.
It is a tough life and although some of her best money over the past 6 years was made babysitting and being a nanny… is that really what you want to be doing on Saturday night? Sometimes she had celebrity actor parents for her children’s movement/music classes who tip well, sometimes not. She is a very good place now and many of her experiences over the past 6 years led her to be well-qualified for this position but she would not have been able to get to do so without a helping hand, not that we pay her rent but we do help with many expenses… clothes shopping and air fare if traveling or being in friend’s wedding parties, cell phone bill, new computer, etc. etc
This is kind of on topic <3 “Life chooses you”
https://vimeo.com/226379658
I think the most important thing the OP mentioned is drive. Most actors have to be self-motivated and have the drive needed to be persistent and keep auditioning even though the majority of the time you will get rejections. If she does not develop that drive in the next couple of years, she really needs to explore what other avenues she might wish to pursue with her degree because there are too many other highly motivated actors out there who will be competing for parts with her. You have to really want it to make it as an actor.
Do know that if she chooses not to perform after college, it doesn’t mean the degree is not valuable. There are many things she can do. D has friends who got performance degrees who ended up not performing but loving jobs in casting agencies, in social media companies promoting Broadway shows, in event management, teaching, etc… They can even go on to law school, medical school, etc… Here in our hometown our research hospital hires actors all the time to help teach residents how to recognize symptoms and diagnose conditions. There are so, so many things one can do with their degree…
I agree with @AlexaMT - an acting career does not have to be based out of NYC! There are great things happening in regional markets all over the country. Your D may want to start researching other places to start her theater career. My own D recently graduated and has friends all across the country, getting paid to perform in cities such as Dallas, Denver, Orlando, Oklahoma City, DC, Chicago, Minneapolis, Toronto, Pittsburgh and many other places. Most have other, flexible jobs in addition to their acting jobs. But they are getting paid to perform. . In fact, I would say the ones living outside of NYC seem to be having more success auditioning and securing work in their regional theaters than her friends who are in NYC. Most of her friends in NYC are in survival jobs (everything from dog walking to receptionist to retail worker and baby sitter) Very few have found paid performing jobs (although a few have done some interesting and worthwhile free gigs ). In addition to other cities, D also has friends who are starting their careers out in theme parks and cruise ships. Not their ideal jobs necessarily, but they are performing and learning.
So you have to decide what the dream is. Is the dream to be a working actor? Or is the dream to live in NYC? Some people achieve one in the same. But if it is the performing that is truly the passion, keep an open mind to where you may wish to start your career. Know that if you change your mind and decide the actor’s life is not for you, you have not wasted your time or your degree. You can still be whatever you want to be. Just like the economics major who becomes a dentist, a performance major can choose whatever profession they wish. So let them pursue their passion and see where life takes them if you can.
I know 2 girls (neither related to me) who both graduated from Tisch MT. One is beautiful, talented with an amazing singing voice. She’s a solid but not great dancer and is musical. The other is not attractive, doesn’t have a great singing voice, did character acting roles in HS and is a so so dancer. One has her Equity card and the other has never gone on an audition since graduating. The first girl doesn’t have the drive, the other has the drive (and the family money) to produce and pay for shows so she has an Equity card. My friend is the mother of the first girl and almost a decade after graduation, she is still paying student loans off (both her and her D).
I think there are students and their families in many majors in the same situation @techmom99 describes. Students who change their minds about what they want to do with their life are not uncommon. They’re only 18 when they enter college. They are going to be exposed to so many new thoughts and ideas while there. And exposed to the realities of what different professions are really like. We are not alone in our challenges and fears in this regard.
What about the student who studies pre-law only to do an internship when they are a senior and they decide working in a law firm is boring and not nearly as exciting as they thought it would be? Or again, I bring up my friend who was an economic major at a top liberal arts college who graduated without a clue as to what she wanted to do. She ended up being a nanny for a year (sound familiar?) then having to go back and get some undergrad courses in various sciences that were prerequisites for a dental degree, Then she applied to and went to dental school. No different than if our MTs decide after a year or two they want to pursue something different. It happens. It’s life. I would say looking back now almost 30 years later, most of my friends are not employed in a job that directly relates to their major in college. The important things is to get the degree no matter what it is in.
As far as the friend @techmom99 mentions who is still paying off student loans, in the end, she still has a degree from NYU. The world is still her oyster and she should be able to pursue whatever path she wants. She has a great college degree. And would have perhaps had student loans no matter what major she received. All to say, don’t think of pursuing a performance degree as a dead end street if they decide to pursue something different once graduated. In the end, they are getting to pursue something they are passionate about, obtain a college degree, and figure out where life is taking them. It will all be ok no matter what path they end up pursuing.
@bookmama22. Word. Really generous detail that pp need to pay attention to. Thanks for sharing.
@bookmama22. Word. Really generous to take the time to detail. I don’t have your years of experience but I can already add a big YUP to your story.