<p>i think this is rubbish! I know it’s optional, but I don’t think it should even be on applications. Sure, it’s great for kids of helicopter parents, or parents who are active in their kids’ lives. But what about parents who don’t give a crap about their kids’ education? What about parents who don’t really want their kids to go to college?</p>
<p>I hardly think that providing a requested piece of an application makes one a helicopter parent. </p>
<p>As for parents who don’t care about their kids’ education, sounds like something that can be worked into a college app essay. These are the kinds of things that admissions officers want to know to put an applicant into context.</p>
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That’s a good thought, but you only get so many essays. If I were in that situation, I would rather not dwell on it or effectually define myself by it in one of these few shots.</p>
<p>I wonder how much weight they actually put on parent recs…</p>
<p>Also, reviving seagal’s question:
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<p>So, whichever colleges ask for parent’s recomendations - do they state so right in their application instructions? Or do they send special request to the parents of those who already applied?</p>
<p>ohio_mom</p>
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<p>Does Brandeis ask everybody’s parents for such letters? Is it anywhere on their web-site or would they send special request? (My D applied there, but so far I never heard about parent recommendations for that institution).</p>
<p>We just got this request from Hobart & Wm Smith today and also provided a letter to the school GC in the fall. I guess that means that I can’t crib from the fall letter–what if the same sentence turned up in the guidance rec. and a parent letter? It might be the first time that an admissions officer was sure a GC had parental help in writing the essay :)</p>
<p>We wrote one for Union College (NY) last year. It was an interesting exercise for me. At first I thought it was strange, of course every parent would say their kid was wonderful! But then the adcom at Union pointed out - who knows your kid better than you? </p>
<p>So I decided not to write another laundry list of his extracurriculars. I chose one EC and wrote about what it had taught him and how I had seen him grow. I wrote why I thought Union was a good fit for him. I wrote about who he is as a kid - what type of music he likes, what his sense of humor is, who his favorite teams are, and said what a great older brother he has been. I wrote that he is a kind person, who stands by his convictions for himself but doesn’t judge others based on them.</p>
<p>After we submitted it I saved a copy for him to read later. I want him to have something tangible, in writing, that showed how proud we were of him - not just for his accomplishments, but for who he is.</p>
<p>BTW, he was accepted, but I think that had more to do with his transcript than my rec. The rec was optional.</p>
<p>We got such a request from Smith but didn’t write one. She got in anyway.</p>
<p>They should always be optional and never required. What about all the parents who did not speak a word of English? If my colleges were to require one, I would have to tell them that my parents can’t write one, considering I write any letters my parents need in English for them. </p>
<p>And then wouldn’t that put me at a disadvantage because they do not have an extra recommendation to learn about me from?</p>
<p>I can only speak for my own experience. D’s school did NOT require the parent recommendation. Not having one would not have hurt her chances for admission.</p>
<p>As a homeschool mom who has written a number of letters in support of my d’s and s’s candidacies for admission to various LAC’s, I highly recommend that you parents take advantage of any opportunity to do so! After all, you know your child best of all, and your are uniquely qualified to advocate for him or her. I wouldn’t let your concerns about your own ability to write dissuade you. After all, who is to say that every guidance counselor is eqally articulate, insightful, and eloquent. The important thing is that you provide the adcoms with your perspective and share with them some of the things which might strenghthen your child’s application. I suspect that parents are actually more honest and likely to refrain from superlatives than some teachers, when writing these letters. After all, as parents, we are not just interested in where our children are accepted…we want them in the right college with the “best fit”. I would like to think that the admissions committees find it refreshing to read the thoughtful and considered letters of parents. I’m sure that it is not held against your child if you do not write, but it can certainly help if you do!</p>
<p>D applied to HWS, but I didn’t receive a request for a letter. Do you think this is only for Trustee Scholarship candidates or do you think they are so overwhelmed with applications they are trying to decifer who is serious?</p>
<p>byan I think letting your parents write one in their native tongue would be a nice touch. Let the school figure it out!</p>
<p>applicantmum,</p>
<p>I bet you’ll get one from HWS. Ours just came late last week, and read like it was being sent to all parents.</p>
<p>I, too, received a request today from one of my D’s top choices. I was very surprised. I would hate to mess her chances up by writing a bad letter. On the other hand it might be fun to tell them the things she wasn’t able to mention on the application. I am surprised so many colleges are asking this, as I had never heard of it before.</p>
<p>Thanks MarathonMan. We will keep checking the mail.</p>
<p>I see a lot of concern that students’ will be judged harshly if their parent’s letters aren’t “up to snuff”. However, I think that if a student demonstrates their academic abilities through their grades, scores, extra curriculars, etc., it’s going to be that much more impressive if the parents are not college educated, or are ELL (English Language Learners), etc. </p>
<p>Additionally, the things that I would write about my DS if asked are the “color” of who he is and the obstacles he’s overcome. No where on his applications has he discussed that he’s overcome severe ADD-Inattentive type, or dysgraphia but DS sees it as a weakness, not a strength. </p>
<p>His grades show that he went from a 2.67 semester GPA in freshman year with no honors or AP Classes, to a 3.57 for both semesters last year with two APs, and he’s on track for better than a 4.0 with two AP’s again. This is without tutors or coaches. He’s just worked hard to find the study methods that work for him to conquer the ADD and he uses technology (computer, cell phone calendar alarms, etc.) to compensate for the dysgraphia and ADD. And, he’s done all of this as I’ve had several serious health issues too. I would love to tell that to colleges - he’s resilient, persistant and an optomist. Oh well. I’ll just settle for telling you all. :)</p>
<p>D1 offered to write the Smith parent recommendation for me, since I refused to do it. I declined her offer, since admissions might then assume I had written her essay. What’s the point anyway besides to have the parents share in the misery of essay writing?</p>
<p>RoraMom</p>
<p>I would not want my son to go to a college where the admissions committee didn’t recognize the value of having a student whose parents are new to the system.</p>
<p>My d applied to HWS as well as the Trustee Scholarship. I received a letter requesting a letter from parents but they did state it was optional. st Anselm aslo requested a letter from parent. I haven’t done either one! She’s been accepted to St. Anselm, in the Honors program with $$$. So it didn’t matter anyway.</p>
<p>I just don’t feel comfortable writing the letter. it is also the tradition at her HS to have parents write letters to their child and they are printed in the yearbook. I had my husband write it-too emotional for me to write. She’s the first of four to graduate.</p>