<p>Topic: What is the primary purpose of education?</p>
<p>My Essay:</p>
<p>Education, inarguably, increases one's intellect. It improves critical thinking skills. Basically, the main purpose of education is to give people wisdom. </p>
<p>Education gives people both academic knowledge and wisdom. Wisdom is the ability to think critically. When people have wisdom, they are able to survive in a society. They can apply right solutions to right situations. Wisdom is not the same as academic knowledge. People who receive high grades do not always possess wisdom. Although, at the most superficial level, it seems that education is only concerned with academic subjects like math and science, that students essentially require to live. This is not always true. Do ordinary people need sin-cos-tan formula to measure the height of buildings or do they need to use pi formula to find a circumference of a satellite? Definitely not. But the actual purpose of learning all these things is for a person to be able to think, differentiate, and apply. We study math so that we are able to think fast and apply the right solution to a certain situation. We memorize the properties of elements and process of ATP so that we would sharpen our memory and would perceive things as processes. These learnings finally accumulate for one purpose, for one to receive wisdom. </p>
<p>When a person obtains wisdom, prosperity and innovations are bound to happen. In ancient times, Roman Empire, Greece, and China were the most advanced and prosperous empires. These empires consisted of great philosophers like Socrates and Lao-Tzu. These philosophers were the backbones of the countries's prosperity as they possess wisdom. They were able to perceive the truth of lives and therefore spread teachings to other people. These people were educated and wise and were able to bring great innovations and prosperity. </p>
<p>In conclusion, the primary purpose of education is to give people wisdom, the ability to think critically so that they will bring prosperity to societies. The famous author Issac Asimov once said, "The saddest aspect of life right now is that science gathers knowledge faster than society gathers wisdom."</p>
<p>Edit: On a second read, I’m upping it to 4/6</p>
<p>You keep repeating things and I don’t feel that the essay is going anywhere.</p>
<p>Please take the first five minutes of the twenty-five minutes allotted to create an outline with a clear and thoughtful thesis, and your three topic sentences. Do NOT start writing before you do this.</p>
<p>3</p>
<p>You take a position, which is the purpose of education is wisdom, but then you dont stick with it. “Thinking fast”, “applying the right solution” and “sharpen our memory” dont really have anything to do with Wisdom. Neither do “innovations” and " prosperous empires". </p>
<p>Over all I come away with the impression that you wanted to say something about kids learning facts that have no general application to them, but you picked wisdom has the unifying concept but in the end you couldnt unify the fact/wisdom observation with a coherent argument. </p>
<p>Notice that the CB invites you to “support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies…”. They want examples. Your examples very weak. Does ATP count? You name check Socrates, Lao-Tzu and 500 years of Roman history. Where do you prove this statement: “These philosophers were the backbones of the countries’s prosperity as they possess wisdom”. If your thesis is “wisdom leads to prosperity” it should have been in the intro paragraph and you need to have specific examples. Perhaps demonstrating how Sun Tzu’s advice lead to victory in a specific battle.</p>
<p>The joke is that the trick is to lead off with complex sentences (commas, semi-colons.) Use polysyllabic words. And have at least 3 recognizable names as proofs. The continued joke is Lincoln, Hitler, Ghandi. But, choose what works.</p>
<p>Seriously, all you have done is give your opinions. As pointed out, you have to support your position. This is your one point in the entire app process where you can feel free to let it all fly, doll it up, go for broke- as long as it makes at least some sense. Some question whether what matters is what you say- or how you say it, how you flesh it out.</p>
<p>3-4 you should elaborate more. You have to support your positions rather than just state.</p>
<p>3; didn’t you use the exact same quote you used here in some other essay?? Don’t do that…it becomes a bad habit…you don’t need to end every essay with a quote by a famous person. And keep it simple. State your view,give examples to support it and conclude. Most of your 2nd paragraph is worthless in the eyes of the CB reader.</p>