Score my SAT essay please!

Test Preparation
1

<p>I've just started practicing and I know my score must be relatively low...
But please feel free to score my essay and any advices are welcome! Thank you!
OK, here we go:</p>

<p>Should our perception of beauty be influenced by the perception of beauty of other people?</p>

<p>The perception of beauty usually centers around the idea of the mainstream. However, human being’s perception of the world is limited and the meaning of beauty evolves as time passing by. Thus, even those are perceived as ‘ugly’ in present may become ‘beautiful’ in the future. Moreover, simply because a person lives in the world that beauty has already been identified dose not mean he loses the right to pursuit his own sense of beauty. In some circumstances people should hold their position instead of being influenced by others. In the field of arts and fashion we can find compelling example to support this idea.
Take a look at one of the world most venerable artist Vincent Van Gogh. The paintings of Van Gogh was only known by a handful of people and appreciated by fewer when he was alive. As a young painter who could hardly made a living Van Gogh continued to draw, although people in his village assumed his paintings as a pack of trash. Van Gogh’s unique strokes and vivid colorings set his work apart from others’. However, his perception of beauty, expressed by his paintings, is not accepted by people of his time who defined his drawings as “very ugly, ungracious, impolite and sick”. Had Vincent Van Gogh’s perception of beauty influenced by others, his paintings could not have acquired the label of masterpieces nowadays. Thus, for Van Gogh, the opinion of hold on to his own perception of beauty served as a good guide to success.
Another intriguing example was the fashion icon of all time Coco Chanel. In the time that designers tried their best to feature ostentation and redundancy in their designs, Chanel, getting inspiration from the clothes of man, introduced women’s suits and sportswear at her new boutique in 1913. Appling the French aesthetic theory that "ugly" placed next to "beautiful,“ by contrast, makes the beautiful object appear more so, Chanel served to spotlight a woman's natural beauty and brought a revolutionary change to the fashion world. Nowadays, Chanel’s unique perception of beauty is still influencing the world.
Again, the definition of beauty differs in ages. Sticking to one’s own perception may leads to rumors and laughter, but it may leads to success eventually since the future is unpredictable and the strength of believing in oneself is also beyond imagination.</p>

2

<p>Hi Vesper0723,</p>

<p>Regarding your essay, maybe you should start with “as the old adage goes, beauty is in the eye of the beholder” and then state your thesis. Just a suggestion but helps introduce your essay. There are a few grammatical slips and awkward expressions such as “a pack of trash” and “a painter who could hardly made a living?”. Also avoid colloquialisms i.e “sticking to one’s”.</p>

<p>Pros: I like your examples regarding art as it is an archetype for your topic. We all interpret art differently, most importantly its beauty. Maybe three examples can get you higher (thats what I read).</p>

<p>Suggestions: possible state how Van Gogh only sold one painting in his lifetime. If it weren’t for his unique perception of beauty, we wouldn’t be gifted with his unique paintings (maybe add that to the last part of the first body paragraph). </p>

<p>Overall, I would give you a 4, possibly 5? Don’t know if I’m being too harsh or lenient but who am I to judge your essay xD</p>

3

<p>Although your examples and vocabulary are pretty good, there are some grammatical errors that may cut the reader off. 3 or 4… 7/12 or 8/12?</p>

<p>The 8 is a larger possibility, however.</p>

4

<p>thanks for replying. I will work harder!</p>