<p>Ok, so I had a long drawn out post, but my browser closed and I lost the post so I'm going to just type a condensed version of my problem. As a high school student, I was good academically but subpar socially. I earned a 2370 sat, 5s on all my aps, 800s on all my subject tests, and I had a good high school gpa with the exception of senior year where I got all b's. I am from New Jersey and I got a full scholarship to schools like rutgers and case western. I chose UC Berkeley (paying full tution) as my school because I thought it would be good to get away from home and embark on a new journey. Berkeley was also the top school I got into. I came to berkeley over the summer to get a headstart. Intially, things were going well. However, things quickly got worse and I ended up with a floor who hated me and a roommate how hated me. I decided to stick it out and hope that I'd have better experience in the fall. Welcome week was nice; I went to a lot of parties and got bids from two fraternities. However, again my roommates were horrible. Although they are different from me, I still tried to make friends with my roommates but they brushed off my attempts. One of them continues to gossip about me though I've been polite during the whole semester so far. My floor isn't that great either and most people on it have a negative impression of me. I'm not having trouble making friends; I've made several good friends here, but I don't like the fact that there are so many people who dislike me. After basically two semesters here, I've come to the conclusion that berkeley just isn't the right school for me. My grades here aren't the best. I had to pass/no pass two of my classes. I'm getting a no pass for my seminar because I registered late (not later than the deadline) so the professor won't let me in the class and I can't drop the class because the drop deadline passed. I am getting an A in one class but I'm trying to transfer so I need to do well in all of my classes. I'm planning to switch to a different dorm next semester and do really well so that I can increase the pool of schools that I can transfer too. I want to talk to a therapist because all of this is really messing with my mood and motivation, but I don't want anything to show up on my health insurance record. I also have other personal insecurities that are affecting me as well. I know this is rambling and quickly typed but I hope I can get some advice. If you want me to clarify anything please say so and I'll be happy to oblige. Thanks</p>
<p>Go to health services and see a counselor. You may not have to go through your insurance - cross that bridge when you get to it but don’t let it stop you from going.</p>
<p>Most people are not so aware of other people “disliking” them the way you are. You need to talk through this with someone who is neutral to the situation. My guess is that no matter where you transfer the same situation will repeat itself.</p>
<p>See:
<a href=“http://uhs.berkeley.edu/students/counseling/cps.shtml[/url]”>Counseling and Psychological Services (CAPS) | University Health Services;
Access to CPS counseling services are free to all registered UC Berkeley students. Students do not need to have purchased the Student Health Insurance Plan to see a counselor. Initial phone and in-person consultations, urgent visits, and initial counseling visits (up to 5th session) are all free. Minimal fees apply to other services. </p>
<p>Berkeley University
Counseling & Psychological Services
2222 Bancroft Way #4300
Berkeley, CA 94720
Phone: 510-642-9494</p>
<p>You’re right I need to get this problem fixed before anything else, but since the damage is done, people’s opinions won’t change even if I do change. Wouldn’t getting a fresh start be a good option?</p>
<p>Yes, definitely, but use the rest of the year at Berkeley to talk through some of the issues you experienced and start somewhere else with a new and improved you! Counseling takes some time, a few months perhaps, but you will see some benefits pretty quickly. Even making the first appointment will feel like a good achievement. Kudos for realizing that talking with a therapist might help which is half the battle in really making progress.</p>
<p>Note - I saw on the website that they can do counseling over the phone. I wouldn’t recommend this since both you and the counselor loose the ability to communicate non-verbally (body language, facial expressions etc.) Since your concerns are focused on people relationships you need to be in setting where you and the counselor can see each other I think.</p>
<p>I wouldn’t say that changing schools is the best thing to do, actually. Academics are obviously very important, that’s why we all go to school. Apply to transfer dorm halls next semester because your mood can affect your study habits. Talk to your RA as well; RA’s are there to help you in anyway. Maybe they can help diffuse the situation. You said you recieved two bids from Fraternities. If you chose to rush then go to your brothers and talk to them about academic help. The University has many assests you can use to help. Just look for them.</p>
<p>Be careful if you transfer, however. Make sure your classes will go with you but your habits won’t.</p>
<p>^So in your opinion transferring isn’t a good idea? I’m going to fix my issues but the thing is people won’t change their impressions of me even if I do change. So if I suddenly develop good social skills, people will still view me as an awkward creepy ****** due to confirmation bias.</p>
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<p>I think, like one of the above posters said, that you just view their thoughts too deeply. I’m sure there’s not that many people. Besides, only worry about what you can control. It seems that you are doing your part in being respectful/courteous etc, and they aren’t accepting it. Then, you can just ignore them and keep on only controlling what you can.</p>
<p>UCB is huge, I would opt towards transferring dorms or something. If you move across campus you’ll probably be able to have a practically fresh start with all new people. I’m sure only a few people actually dislike you. :)</p>
<p>Yeah I’m going to switch dorms and see if it works out. Meanwhile, I can only hope that counseling can fix the problems I’m having right now. I just want to have a good college experience and I don’t know why it’s elusive when I’m being polite and friendly.</p>