<p>I'm a freshman at UC Berkeley and I don't like the social scene here. When I first came here things were alright, but everything quickly turned for the worse. My floor and building hates me. A lot of girls here think I'm creepy. I am banned from two fraternities (one of which gave me a bid, go figure). Now obviously some of this is my fault and I accept that. But I've done nothing to deserve social consequences of this magnitude. I have never hit anyone, forced myself on to girls or insulted anyone. My current situation is making me very depressed and helpless. It's to the point where I can't focus on my studies anymore. I don't think I can spend one more semester here and right now I'm trying to fix my problems so that the same issues won't carry over to the new school I can transfer too. The thing is though, my grades aren't that great (I passed 3 classes (Berkeley has a pass/no pass grading option) and I got an A in the other one). This semester I will probably end up getting 2 A's and one pass. I know it'd be wise to get good grades my sophomore year and then transfer my junior year, but I can't get good grades when I don't like the vibe around me. My high school record is pretty good, but obviously my college record hurts me. I'm going to be seeing a counselor soon to vent and tune up my social skills. I have already missed most of the transfer deadlines, but I really a new environment. What do you recommend that I do?</p>
<p>If (according to you) your entire floor and building hates you and a ton of girls think you’re creepy, then you really need to think about why that’s the case. It’s good that you accept the fact that you’re at fault, but if you want to stop getting bad vibes from people around you, then you have to think about what you might be doing wrong and work on fixing it. Plus, what makes you think that transferring will solve all your problems? If you’re consistently getting bad vibes from a ton of people in your current school, chances are you’ll experience the same thing at other schools unless you make some changes. Trust me on this, I had similar issues back in high school and the only way I got around to being more satisfied socially was to find out what I was doing wrong and improve on that.</p>
<p>Berkeley’s not some little fishbowl like higshchool was, people don’t spread rumors, and no one knows everybody. Hell, I don’t even know half the people on my floor. There’s no way your entire building hates you. Also, if girls are finding you creepy, it’s probably more what you’re doing, and less the social scene… same goes for floor/building. Now, if there’s something wrong with how you’re interacting with people, transferring’s not going to fix anything, you’ll just have the same problems somewhere else. I know that’s not what you want to hear right now, but it’s the truth.</p>
<p>If you’re serious about trying to transfer out (I feel like you mentioned depression at some point… Cal can definitely make that more stressful), your only real option this late in the year would be a CC. You’ll find no social scene, won’t be challenged academically, and will probably end up feeling like you wasted a year. After that you’d probably have an easy time transferring to another UC/CSU. But you probably don’t want to go that route, unless you’re truly desperate.</p>
<p>Your best bet at this point is to find a different social scene, and try and evaluate how you’re acting, try and fix it, etc. Berkeley’s huge, there’s plenty of places to meet people. If you find that everyone is hating you, either you’re the problem (and transferring won’t help) or it’s something mental that’s skewing how you see people, and you should probably look into getting help for that.</p>
<p>No offense but I would have to try to get that many people to hate me. Either way it’s a big school, most people don’t know you exist so take advantaged</p>
<p>Yeah unfortunately, I’m in this situation and yes it’s my fault but I don’t think I deserve my own friends backstabbing me. I just wish I could have fun in this hell hole for once</p>
<p>I would just relax, take a mental step back, and think. If the whole floor or whatever hates you, your fault or not, it’s NOT the end of the world. I’m sure it can only get worse from here on out. People are harsh, life can be harsh. But your life is what YOU make of it, and only you can make yourself happy. That said, move away from the whole “social” scene. Yes, it’s important, but there is more to college. Focus on hobbies, find new hobbies. Usually, you find others with the same interests and you form new social bonds. College is a whole wide world, and there is at least one person you will make a social life with, if not more. Me being the introvert I am, I almost drove myself crazy first quarter at UC Davis. Then, I expanded and found one person and made a new social life.
If you are having mental/emotional issues, I advise seeing your school’s available resources. They’re there to help! You have so many opportunities and resources, take advantage! The “hellhole” has MUCH to offer you, I’m sure; you just need to go out and get it yourself and make a better path. Even if you so choose to transfer, think of any and all opportunities and resources around you.</p>
<p>Sent from my DROID BIONIC using CC</p>
<p>I don’t think it’s the college social scene here? People seem quite laid back. I don’t associate with many people in general, but I’ve never had any significant problems.</p>
<p>My situation is my fault. A lot of people here aren’t having the same problems I’m having. With that being said, I’m still stuck in a place where a lot of people hate me. I mean I’m hearing that people are telling my best friend to stop hanging out with me because I’m “creepy and weird.” I am banned from two fraternities, my floor from the summer hates me, my current floor hates me, several girls think I’m creepy (50+), etc. I’m already prone to depression at the moment. Is it really a good idea to stay in a place where ill see people who hate my guts on a daily basis?</p>
<p>This problem will persist no matter what college you attend. It sounds like you need a counselor. Changing schools will not change your social behavior and you will find backstabbing people everywhere you go</p>
<p>If you achieve any amount of success, in school, politics, or the workplace, you will find people that hate you. There are millions of people out there jealous of the success of others and would put you down or hurt you for personal gain. Knowing how to deal with it is part of growing up. Hell, you can even learn how to use it to your advantage, as I have. </p>
<p>To the OP, if you don’t like your college’s social scene, why don’t you take the initiative and change it, instead of expecting others to do it for you? </p>
<p>You could take the initiative and host parties, and craft a strategic plan to change the campus culture to be more welcoming to your ideology. It would be a far better use of your time than complaining about the scene on an internet forum, expecting other people at your campus to do the work for you and freeload off of other people’s success…</p>
<p>Seriously. If you are successful enough and create enough initiatives, you could even become famous or take the no publicity route and place your project planning successes on your resume.</p>
<p>Yeah I know I need to see a counselor for my social skills and that’s why I’ve registered for sessions to see what the problem is. I also need to work on my depression and clinginess, which the counseling will help with as well. At this point I can’t host parties or run for any type of leadership position at my school because of my terrible reputation.</p>
<p>Has anybody else been in a similar situation? If so how did things turn out. What did you end up doing?</p>
<p>Look collegeissues, you aren’t exactly giving us details. WHY do the girls hypothetically think you’re creepy? WHY do you think your building hates you? You either did some specific things and aren’t saying, or are having some serious self-esteem issues that need taken care of. Frats don’t just BAN you because they think it would be funny. Either way, you need to see a counselor or talk to a mentor, pronto.</p>