Just some background on me first: I’m about to start my first semester at a big university on the West Coast. I’m from just outside of New York City, where the majority of my family lives. I’ve wanted (or thought I wanted) to go to this school for the past two years, and was ecstatic when I got accepted, but I feel like I might have jumped the gun with the decision because I was so enamored with the school. I don’t think I seriously considered the implications of going to college so far away. Now that I’m about to leave, all I can feel is dread, which I know, is not the mindset to be in when starting, but I can’t help it.
I’m an only child and I’m very close with my parents and some of my extended family. The idea of not being able to see them when if I want/need to without dishing out $300+ for a weekend home is really hard to process, especially when all my friends can either drive or take the train home in under 2 hours to see their families. This anxiety didn’t hit me until I went to orientation a month ago and I realized that I might have made the wrong decision; I realized how far it is and I felt out of place in the city, especially with so many people that are from that area. Ever since then, I’ve felt completely consumed by the fear of living there. I can’t even get it together enough to pack.
I talked to my parents about it. They told me to try it (it’ll be easier to transfer if I have some credits and it’s way, way too late to back out now), come home at Thanksgiving and reassess from there. They also said that if there was a real crisis, they’d put me on the next plane home or be on the next plane out there. They’re also planning to visit me somewhere in October. I know it’s only two months, but I’m completely terrified for what’s ahead of me. I don’t want to feel this way, but it’s the only thing I’m able to think about.
I know it’s important to go away to college and be independent, but I feel like I threw myself into the deep end with this school. I’m just looking for any (realistic) advice on how to make the next two months bearable. Thanks so much.