<p>I just finished my first semester, but it was incredibly difficult to get through and I do not want to go back in a few days. I like my school but I am having an extremely hard time being so far from home (4-5 hours) and have been suffering from a significant amount of anxiety. I had anxiety issues throughout high school, but during senior year my anxiety problems were significantly lessened (practically nonexistent) and I thought I would be able to handle being so far from home. Unfortunately, it is so far appearing that is not the case. Once I got on campus to start freshman year, it became pretty apparent that my anxiety was back. I talked to my parents about it and at first they said to stick out the first semester and if I really wanted to I could transfer at the end of the semester. It was very difficult at first, but I managed to settle in a little bit, but the anxiety came back pretty badly a few weeks before thanksgiving and I decided I wanted to transfer after all, either to state school or CC. My parents did not like this idea and are now making me stay until the end of second semester and they said they will support me transferring, just at the end of the year. I am completely dreading going back and totally unsure what to do. On one hand, I would like to stay and finish out this first year at least--I do like the school academically and I have made good friends there and I do not want to look back and regret leaving. A part of me feels like it would be failing if I came home and that notion, along with the anxiety I have at school, is making me so depressed. I also feel like if I came home I would never be able to get the college experience I've always wanted. On the other hand, I am totally dreading going back and have been wildly depressed thinking about spending another 15 weeks--especially in horrible New England weather--at school with the anxiety. I am unsure what to do so any help would be appreciated. </p>
<p>Also at school I did go to the counseling center but did not find it to be helpful, and I try to maintain a regular workout regime which I found extremely helpful at first, but it certainly did not eliminate my problems.</p>
<p>While I am just a mom and not a professional counselor, are you able to pinpoint where your anxiety is coming from? Is it specific to certain triggers, or is it just general nervousness from being out of your element? Just something to think about. I would hope that you would consider another counselor at your college who could help you get to the bottom of your anxieties, so you could lessen them. There are many anxieties throughout life and learning techniques to deal with them, would serve you well for your entire life. It would also be good to have a mentor at school who could give you the support, you usually get from parents. Another idea is to plan out your semester using a wall calendar and schedule a few visits home when possible, so that the semester doesn’t seem like such a long stretch. Plan some enjoyable activities on it, so that you have things you are looking forward to. That also helps break up the winter months in colder climates. I would seriously try another counselor at school. Just like you sometimes, “hit it off” with some people more than others, the same is true for counselors. I wish you well. Hang in there.</p>
<p>A relative’s child had problems related to anxiety. He was helped by medication and group counseling sessions. You should try your college’s mental health services. Try to make an appointment with a psychiatrist with experience in anxiety & college students.</p>
<p>You may also have SAD (seasonal affective disorder). The lack of sunlight in winter in Northern states can worsen SAD. Try a strong full-spectrum light for 1/2 an hour in the mornings. If you search for “happy light” or “sad light” on Amazon, you’ll pull up various models of lights.</p>
<p>Another mom, but one who seconds the idea of treatment - pharmacological, therapy, or both. Were you being treated senior year when the anxiety went away? Make an appointment at student health. If you have good friends and are doing well academically, once you have this anxiety treated, you may find this school is really the best place for you to be.</p>
<p>itisraining, Periwinkle and ordinarylives make good points. Ask the counselor if medication is appropriate. I believe that it should be considered a) once a counselor has been consulted and b) when one finds that anxiety is interfering with normal life. Sounds like you might be there.</p>
<p>I would get in touch with the counselor who you’ve already worked with and touch base again about what is going on. S/he may be able to refer you to someone near school, so you can put together a plan for dealing with your symptoms and how to best manage your anxiety. Anxiety is more common than you know, so you are not alone. I can understand the reluctance to prescribe meds for anxiety. There are many treatment options, but the first step is to contact someone who can help you now, so that you can have a successful future.</p>
<p>If you need meds, you’ll have to see an MD, not just a therapist. This does not mean, however, that you have to give up on therapy, or that you will need to take meds forever. Meds can help in conjunction with therapy (like CBT). As you master techniques for controlling your anxiety, you can be weened off of the meds. My son took meds for Anxiety Disorder starting when he was eight years old and the impact was very positive and nearly immediate. You may be surprised how quickly you can get this problem under control (I hope that you are). Good luck!</p>
<p>Why have you decided against medication? I’d encourage you to at least talk to a doctor or therapist about it. Tell them why you don’t like the idea, and see what they have to say. Please keep an open mind about something that has helped countless people just like you.</p>
<p>Regarding school – You have a third option besides staying forever or leaving forever. You can take a leave of absence, usually for one or two semesters. At most schools, this will leave your enrollment and financial aid in place, meaning that when/if you go back, it will be as if you never left and you’ll just pick up where you left off. Note that it may be too late to arrange a leave for this coming semester, but even if it is, knowing that you’ll be off next year might keep you going.</p>
<p>My D was very unhappy her freshman year, and took a semester’s leave at the beginning of her second year. That gave her some breathing room to deal with her issues, and some time and space to decide on her future at the school (she did go back, and is now a senior).</p>
<p>I’m sorry to hear you’re going through this, and I’m glad you came here to tell us about it. Keep us posted. Remember, you are not alone, and there are solutions.</p>
<p>I have zero experience with anxiety but it seems to me that you need to figure out how to handle that when away from home - it isn’t like you plan to live with your parents forever so now is a good time to tackle this beast. It also sounds like medication might be a great help - even just for the time you figure out how to manage your anxiety.</p>
<p>I think these are all great suggestions, and I’m sorry things have been hard for you. This isn’t how you imagined college, I’m sure! </p>
<p>Try and be more open to ideas – you seem to have dismissed things as being certainties (you know you’ll hate it, you know meds won’t help, you know the counselor was lame) and like every medical condition, your depression/anxiety will need interventions that may take some tweaking. Don’t give up – you won’t always feel like this.</p>
<p>I agree with your parents that it might be simplest to go back, go to class, make up your mind to stay and WHILE you are there, get as much help as you can. Don’t sugar coat stuff – tell the school it’s bad enough that you may withdraw. Advocate for care that makes you feel better. You have a whole future ahead of you, and you have lots of choices. Being closer to home may not fix things – the anxiety may be clinical, in which case it’s just going to come with you, wherever you go. You’ll have to find a way to manage it, regardless. Best of luck</p>
<p>Anxiety that interferes with your normal functioning needs to be treated by a professional. You deserve to able to function normally. Treatments can included therapy and medication. Please look into it. You need help with this. It won’t go away by itself…</p>
<p>Some people can be treated quite successfully without medication. Obviously none of us are professionals (and even if we were, we wouldn’t be diagnosing over the Internet). That being said, the fact that you did not need medication before may or may not mean you need anything now.</p>
<p>I know some people have a fear of using psychiatric meds. They mess with your brain! Well, so do many pain relievers. (The pain doesn’t stop, you just stop feeling it.). Some people fear the stigma. My own mother was given an SSRI for chronic pain. Once she found out it was used primarily to treat depression, she refused to take it. She didn’t even want to get the prescription filled because somebody might find out and think she was “crazy”. And then, almost every time there’s a horrific event, the news picks it up and discusses the perps mental state. There’s a lot of fear and misinformation out there about medication, and because people for whom it has been very helpful don’t always talk about the benefits, all you hear is the negative. If a therapist wants you to see an MD for meds, at least be open to the idea. Yes, they can have side effects, yes they can take a while to work, but yes, they can also effectively relieve the anxiety.</p>
<p>If you had a good working relationship with your previous therapist, contact that person. S/he could help you sort through what’s going on for you now and help you decide what to do about your next semester.</p>
<p>Options: If you continue away from home, see if you could continue with your previous therapist via telephone or video-chat, again assuming you found the person helpful.</p>
<p>If you decide it would be best to return home, see about the different types of leaves from your college… e.g. there’s medical leave, personal leave. This way you maintain a connection that might make it easier to transfer to another institution. OR, if you decide to return, you re-instate your status and re-register.</p>
<p>Thank you all for the support and kind words. I am back at school now and am doing okay, but not great. I have an appointment to see a counselor tomorrow so I’m hoping that will help. My parents want me to stay for at least the rest of the year and don’t want me to throw away this opportunity. They have good intentions but I don’t think my dad knows how hard it is for me. My mom is very supportive of me and I can reach her at any time of the day which is nice. I’m so lucky to have such a supportive mom who will help me through this. It looks like I will be staying here for the rest of the semester which unnerves me, but I’m hoping I can make it. Thank you all.</p>
<p>Just remember that you need to just take it one day at a time. Make sure you do not isolate yourself and try your best to reach out to people. One thing that always helps me when I am feeling down, is to do something nice for someone else. Even something as small as a smile a warm hello, holding a door or helping someone with homework will get your mind off thinking about yourself. It really helps. Even though you may feel far from home, you are not alone. I hope you connect with a counselor and always feel free to post here for some encouragement.</p>
<p>Hi everyone. Thanks again for all your kind words and support. I am almost through the semester (woo!!) and it was much better than my first semester. That being said, I still have a bit of anxiety, but not as much as I once did. I was prescribed something to take on an as-needed basis which helps to know something is there. I’m not sure what I am going to do for the future, but I find that I like this school, just have a hard time getting over the anxiety. I think I will be returning in the fall and will either start working with a therapist here and/or possibly trying long-term medication if I am feeling worse in the fall. Again, thank you for all the help and support. Just wanted to keep you all updated.</p>