Second Semester Freshman Year -- & she's still insane.

<p>I know that you probably don’t want to betray your D’s confiding in you but Heroin is a deadly drug and the best thing she could do for her friend is to tell someone at the school. No good will come from the addiction, the stats are not in her favor, she needs help asap. Please if it was my child I would want someone to contact me or turn her in.</p>

<p>H-girl was removed from school by her parents. Intervention in which my d. played a sad part. Now d. is sadder than ever.
Moving off campus has become a drama too. OMG. The place they’ve chosen is one of the worst neighborhoods I’ve ever encountered. “Only” 4 boarded up abandoned places on her block. A shell of a building looming over the whole street. Garbage strewn empty lots. Barbed wire on fire escapes. It’s a nightmare. I can’t let her live there. I haven’t slept well since I saw the place. Yet if I don’t let her live there, she will just be walking back and forth anyhow to visit her friends.<br>
Will the drama never cease?
Sometimes there is a point where being the parent is incredibly tough. I guess that’s why we love this job and are so well prepared for it, eh? </p>

<p>I have to also say, that if your child is considering a college in a difficult, poverty challenged area, you are buying more problems than you might reckon for. The stress of crime always looming over your young adults head is a contributing factor to my daughter’s anxiety. Her bike was vandalized. Her friend was mugged. There are constant sirens and gun shots. Pay attention to how many university police are on campus. If there are a lot - like one on every corner here at Temple University- chances are there is a BIG reason why. It may be safe on campus, but going off campus? A whole other song and dance. Easy access to heroin, weed, etc., too. </p>

<p>Is your daughter at Temple? I can see why you would feel anxiety over her location. I would, too. I live about 30 minutes away.
My friend’s D attends. Her D and friends have had several incidents happen to her and friends on/off campus. After those few they try to stick together in groups. Her D is moving off campus. I can’t wait to here about the apt. and it’s condition.</p>

<p>I hope things work out for your D. You never know, she may eventually want to transfer closer to home.</p>

<p>I hate to say this and take it with a grain of salt as I don’t know anyone involved-
any chance D is making up the drug angle because her other stories were not getting your attention like they used to?
Any solid second party confirmation</p>

<p>Hugs to you, goldnone. My daughter had a very rough sophomore spring, went back in the fall, which in hindsight was a mistake, and ended up withdrawing from classes due to insomnia, stress, and anxiety. She resisted talking to someone, but did so off and on at home, then couldn’t get to a therapist in the fall (no car; Zip car was unreliable). I went down and visited her in the fall and the first thing she said was “I want to come home.” She had never said that before. It’s one of those times you just have to say “I love you – I support you – that sounds like a good idea.” I’m glad you had the talk with your D. I think for my D, she needed to hear that there are many ways through this and nothing is off the table – taking time off, coming home, transferring, going to school locally while she regroups. The most important thing is her mental and emotional health and physical safety. </p>

<p>She definitely isn’t making all these things up. I had a meeting with Assist. Dean of Students and there is confirmation. Things change when your kids go away from home. Their worlds opens up, they are curious about different people and different experiences and all the ways you helped them cope fade into the background. Home and our support balances their rough places. I have refused to let her live in the bad area. She is angry but accepting. And if she ends up coming home because she can’t live with her friends, I’m not sure that is a bad thing. What I really, really want right now is a magic wand or a crystal ball! </p>

<p>Goldnone, if she is at home she may well be angry, but she is alive. I have a fair tolerance for urban neighborhoods that many feel are iffy, but what you describe is appalling. Especially, frankly, for a young woman of college age.</p>

<p>Wow! I’m glad you have forbidden your D to live in awful area. I’m frankly surprised her friends will be living there instead of safer campus housing or a better place/neighborhood. What your described sounded pretty scary to me. Our D doesn’t live in the best area, but her place isn’t nearly as scary as what you described. Hopefully, D will find a nicer place to live once she decides where she will be interning or working. Wish she’d hurry up and move!</p>