Seeking words from the wise... I feel like I've screwed my whole life up.

Parents Forum
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<p>First thing - Get back on the depression meds. I have been there. I am also depressed and on medication. But once in awhile, I take myself off of them for stupid reasons - I don’t want to feel like I have to live my life on meds, I feel fine and don’t need them, etc. And I go downhill. Hopefully I learned my lesson last time (a few years ago). I know that I cannot think clearly when I am off of the meds, and maybe you can’t think clearly either. It seems to me that from what you have written, everything “bad” happened AFTER you took yourself off of your medication. Do you see that? Please, please go to your doctor and get taken care of and on the road to feeling like yourself again.</p>

<p>Honey, you have not screwed your life up - don’t ever think that. You will be just fine. </p>

<p>I won’t discuss the academic situation, others can help you with that.</p>

<p>I wish that I could give you a “real” hug.</p>

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<p>Your story is not written. It’s really that simple. You are in a difficult chapter but that is all it is, one chapter. </p>

<p>I’ve struggled with depression since I was a teenager. If I had the awareness that you do at your age my 20s would have been so much easier. But I don’t look back at them with regret. Now I’m old enough to feel tender-hearted towards the young woman I was and I wish I could tell her that her story is long and just starting. I would also tell her to knock on as many doors as it took to get her depression under control. Eventually finishing my college degree was nice. Gaining control over my mental health was life changing. If I could have only had one, I’d hand my degree back in in a heartbeat. </p>

<p>Health comes first. Take care of yours. Then begin again. That’s part of what makes a good life, the willingness to begin again.</p>

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<p>DC…It was just about this time last year, that I posted about my daughter. At the time of the initial post I knew something was very wrong but Ididn’t know that my girl was depressed and really struggling. A year ago it looked like she would be unable to attend school and get a degree. The worst part of it all was that it looked like I could lose my baby.
One year later…she has been treated with medication and weekly therapy and sees a great psychiatrist. Her medications have been adjusted a few times and adderal was also prescribed for her ADD. She is graduating from CC in a few weeks with honors and is beginning at the state school. A year ago that was not possible. A year ago she was an emotional mess not able to connect to anyone and was completely unaware that she was not really functioning as the person she once was.</p>

<p>DC please take the time to really become well. This moment in your life is so small and you have the rest of your young years to get your education. It may seem to you right now like your degree must be earned now or that there are a list of shoulds that young people must do that come along with a specific age and time reqirement.
You are obviously bright and articulate and you will be able to do all of this once you get back on your medication and see a therapist. There is nothing wrong with meds and sometimes I think it should be put in the drinking water because there are so many people that could benefit from it.
You may want to really get to the bottom of everything and question wheather you may also have ADD/ADHD. The combination of antidepressants and adderal have been life changing for my daughter who now smiles and enjoys a few nice friendships since she has been able to see life differently. </p>

<p>Can you take a medical leave this semester that will clear your GPA? If you can get to a dr. and get this all established I think you will feel alot better right now. Let your folks know that you need them to help you with the school related end of this. I know my daughter was not able to manage even a phone call to her school last year. Just know that you will look back on this time in a few years and it won’t be a big deal it will be your defining moment. The day you decided to change your life. It will look so small in comparison to the fulfilled life that lies ahead.</p>

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<p>Yes, take a medical leave of absence, right now, and it will wipe out the current “bad” semester from your records!! Definately - my daughter had to do that, I forgot that it erased her grades! Talk to the Dean of your college and get that paperwork done, and then get the medical help you need!!</p>

<p>Good luck! We are all rooting for you! Keep us posted as to how you are doing!</p>

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<p>how is everything going, DCHurricane? We hope you have talked with your parents and gone to see a Doctor.</p>

<p>If you get a few minutes, post a quick update here, so we all know how you are doing!!</p>

<p>Best of luck to you!</p>

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<p>This happened to someone I know. They left the school for a short while and then made a plea to return to the school. The school took the person back and the person graduated. Everyone faces obstacles in the road of life - the important thing is to find your way and try all the avenues that interest you. I wish you good luck. You sound like an earnest, thoughtful person - I know you will find your way.</p>

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<p>Just about every college (even the really good ones) has some sort of night/evening/summer/part-time program which will take just about anybody. So no matter how bad your grades are, you can attend a good and/or famous college in this manner and get your gpa up to speed…then you can finish your degree at that school or transfer somewhere else.</p>

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<p>Hi, I just want to share my experience. I hope it can help you</p>

<p>I used to get straight As in high school. When I became a junior, my closest friend started to turn sour with me. I should have known he was a suckup to the cool kids. Long story short, my social life started to deteriorate, I thought I was in love in this girl, I started to not care much about classes, and I basically just lost motivation to live (not in the suicidal way). Stupidly, I still took a lot of classes and tried to challenge myself, hoping the demand for work would help me break out of my depression. As a high school student, I would come back from the library, after it closes at 11 or 12, on a Saturday or a Sunday on my bike, when people were partying, drinking and d<em>cking around. I’d get honked at at intersections, and people sometimes yelled smack at me as they drove by. I ended up getting a D+, an F and D- in the 3 mandatory college courses I took. Come April of my senior year, when the college letters got back, I got rejected by every single private school. I ended up at ISU, my last choice because my parents can’t afford U of Minn. So there I was. Living with my parents. Receiving $0 from the college due to my international status. My parents, who I felt were never proud of me, disappointed as usual. Everything about my life was s</em>*t, I thought. Absolutely Everything.</p>

<p>Now, I’m much better. I’m playing ultimate frisbee, and I have good friends there. I’m learning how to be more likable. So even though I have no time to join more clubs and I live at home, I can still make a couple of good friends in class. I want to go to a prestigious grad school, which has reinvigorated my motivation to work hard and bring up my GPA. There are definitely things in my life that I want to be different, such as more money, more friends, etc. But in my experience, it’s Fatal to linger on these thoughts. Just don’t think about them.</p>

<p>I still feel sad and lonely sometimes. What would I do? get off my a55 and go out to run, or go to the weight room to blow off some steam. I have good friends, and I have a motive. But sometimes I still can’t wrap my mind around how my life would change if I had just done This thing differently in my past. In addition, I still have a personal matter that’s bothering me basically everyday.</p>

<p>In hindsight, what made me keep going and not give up, even though I had already stopped believing, was sports. Really. I’ve loved sports since I was a kid. I’m good at it. And my coaches and teammates have made me feel like home. I’d trust my teammates over any of my former high school friends, Any day.</p>

<p>Even though I’m not a parent, I’ve been through similar things you did. I’m not completely out of the water yet, but what I want to say to you is Never be down on yourself. Don’t let yourself cower in the dark, sitting still on the couch, regretting certain decisions you made in life. Find something you love and do it. For me, I like to play sports. I also pray. These two things have made my road so much easier. So I suggest you find something you love, because it will keep you out of the darkness. Join a club, meet people.</p>

<p>Lastly, I think depression and loneliness are two of the worst things a person can be subjected to. Look around you. Think about how much stronger you’ve gotten because of the things you’ve been through. That’s a Big advantage for your future.</p>

<p>Good Luck</p>

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<p>Great, even eloquent posts.</p>

<p>I just want to add a caution to the OP and anyone else, that stopping antidepressants abruptly is not good for anyone. These meds are potent and need to be tapered. MD’s often say, “cut in half for a week and then stop,” which many, many people find to be much too fast. Honestly, some people take months, going down a tiny bit each week or even every two weeks, and do things like use a liquid form for the last tiny increments. The last 5mg is the hardest.</p>

<p>So when you do decide to get off meds, if you ever do, take care in how you do it!</p>