<p>^^^i can’t begin to imagine what it is going to like sending off my only daughter to college in a few months to the Northeast ( I live in in FL) - I am a single mom and holding on to each day!!! I can’t be selfish and hold her back - it’s her time to start a new chapter in her life but I will miss her terribly.</p>
<p>Birth is gaining a child. College is losing that child. Total opposites, really.</p>
<p>^Most of them come back during breaks and summer…much like the return from summer camp with a bag full of dirty laundry and a hefty appetite.</p>
<p>I am actually considering having a baby. I just turned 37 and my husband is 35. I know this is a response to her leaving but it is very real.</p>
<p>^^^Maybe as an interim step you could do what a friend of mine has done. Every time she sends a kid off to college she gets another puppy.</p>
<p>Parent1986- yes, opposites. I guess my point was that the feelings that I am experiencing are strangely similar to those feelings I had when I had my son. And the parallels are familiar. Despite being two very different events. </p>
<p>Sent from my DROID RAZR using CC</p>
<p>Mspearl- I am considering fostering…husband not really on board with that though! We will see what happens after my son is launched for awhile!</p>
<p>Sent from my DROID RAZR using CC</p>
<p>Metaphorically speaking, of course! Did the dog and foster child bit - fortunately I could send them back - both a big mistake. Having a baby years later (dog is a baby) is more work than you remember.</p>
<p>If I was still able I would have had another one like Miss Pearl - but remember, that can’t be returned. I know a few women who had second families when the kids grew up.</p>
<p>This was advice from D’s co-op toddler group teacher which was great then and holds true today as we try to get D settled:
The universe of kids can be divided into 2 groups, “sock kids” and not “sock kids”. She had one of each and I have one of each. “Sock kids” are the ones who will take 30 minutes to get the seam on the toe of their sock just right before they put on their shoes or boots. You end up doing things like setting a timer (train’s leaving the station in 15 minutes, socks or no socks) and seeking out special, softer socks with seams that are on the top of the foot rather than the toe, or no seems at all. As the “sock kid” gets older they won’t wear the normal baseball or soccer socks that come with the uniform. They don’t feel right and bunch up. The texture is wrong. They don’t have the special patch of lycra arch support that cradles the foot just so. They aren’t “lucky”. Now try finding the right college for this kid! I can tell you it’s all about fit, feel and quirky, broad categories of rejection then fierce loyalty.</p>
<p>Child #2 (socks on dining room table boy) wore his socks until they were just a strip of fabric at the arch held on by the ribbed ankle. Holes - what holes? They didn’t take extra time to get right and usually they were balled up around the foot in the bottom of a rubber boot anyway. They were put on, along with all other clean school clothes including jeans, after nightly bath so as to save time in the morning. What’s wrong with sleeping in jeans? This is the boy who announced that he’s thinking about the dual enrollment HS diploma/ AA program (efficiency boy) and will likely bloom where he’s planted.</p>
<p>LOL saint fan…my son is a mix of both of those, depending on the day and the issue.</p>
<p>He is the one who loves a pair of socks one day, and the next day he has always hated them.</p>
<p>I love this thread! I am a single parent and have felt the weight of the world on me in guiding this process. I panic at the thought that I didn’t advise him right, or get to some colleges he wanted to visit. I panic at the thought of him getting in somewhere he wants to go but the package being too little for me to afford. Yep all the things you make up and worry about as an infant X200.</p>
<p>My D got this “award” in 5th grade: “Most Likely to Miss a Bus.”</p>
<p>By the time she got to high school, she was so regimented that she had created a vocabulary to describe her morning ritual. Woe betide the person who would mess with her “breakfast infrastructure” (her description of the “just so” placement of various breakfast-related accoutrements, laid out the night before, to make the meal an efficient affair).</p>
<p>remember how each stage seemed like it would last forever? you know, worrying that he’d never sleep through the night, frustrated with her two hour long tantrums…but they all pass.</p>
<p>same with sending them off to college…they foul the nest before they leave, but this too shall pass. they come home appreciative of all you’ve done bc they’ve met students who had no family support…I have a college senior s and college junior d, and I am so enjoying the relationships we have now…wonderful to engage in adult to adult talks, about their futures, politics or whatever…and to see how they are independent but still seek out your love and support…</p>
<p>I felt none in OP, not first time, not second time, so the only true for me is yes, we are all very different…Very unimotional for both kids and a husband also. Actually, getting accepted to Med. School was unforgettable, I do not think I will ever forget the night when D. has recieved her first email about 1am and second one at about 2am. UG was like blah…, D. did not get accepted to her first choice, and just mentioned with the smile that she is going to her #2, it was such a regular conversation like we were discussing what sandwich to order. Both S. and D. ended up at perfect places for their UG’s, the memories that they will cherish for the rest of their lives, the opportunities that were beyond anything that we have imagined.</p>
<p>In both instances, there is a cutting of the cord. Both painful, but exciting, and so worth it!</p>
<p>Lots of “woulda, shulda, coulda…” in both situations!</p>